I got a lot of comments after my post about being a Titus 2 Mentoring Mom. The comments are almost all from women who are searching for a Titus 2 mentor.
Titus 2 is one of the motivations for this blog. I mentioned in my previous mentoring post that this is something that both Mark and I feel that God has specifically called our family to. So our Moms Group and this blog have been born. However, I am still in my mid-thirties and my children are still young. I don’t have the wisdom to offer that a woman who has grown children and grandchildren has available.
One of my thoughts as I read through the comments is something that the Lord has gradually been teaching me over the years. A Titus 2 mentor doesn’t have to have made the same decisions or walked the same path that we are. The Biblical qualifications of a Titus 2 woman are:
- older
- reverent in their behavior
- not malicious gossips
- not enslaved to much wine
- teaching what is good – This is defined for us in the next verses. They should teach younger women to love their husbands and children, be sensible and pure, be kind, be a worker at home and to be subject to their own husband.
We don’t get to add anything to God’s qualifications. She doesn’t have to have homeschooled, had many children or even been a stay-at-home-mom. God sets the standard, not us. I have been guilty of not giving Titus 2 women the respect and attention that they deserved because they didn’t measure up to my standard. What ugly arrogance, my standard was higher than God’s. Titus 2 women don’t have to have walked the same path that we are walking to have valuable wisdom to offer us. I was slow to learn this truth, but it is laid out clearly in God’s Word.
So I urge those of you who long for a Titus 2 mentor to look for someone that God says is qualified. Lay aside your own ideas and standards and measure by God’s.
Another aspect of finding a Titus 2 mentor is that we need to seek them out, to let them know that we are willing to learn from them. Women who are wise aren’t going to show up on our doorstep offering us pointers on child training. 
I’ve also found that as I’ve approached wise women for advice and guidance, many are quick to point out why they are not qualified. I’ve had women tell me, “I did it all wrong.” “I have so many regrets.” ” I don’t have anything to offer.” I think this can be solved by either side. First, the Titus 2 mom should realize her calling and God’s standard, that what she did right or wrong as a young mom, does not affect her qualification. If she has gained wisdom through the process she should be quick to help others to not make the same mistakes that she did. On the other side, younger moms can ask and encourage the Titus 2 women to fulfill their God-given calling.
I personally think that those best suited and qualified to serve as Titus 2 mentors are women whose children are grown and who are in the grand parenting years. So, don’t look first at the mom in her 30′s or 40′s who is still homeschooling and parenting full time. They still have a lot of other responsibilities and a lot of wisdom to gain. Rather look to the grandmothers in your church. I think there is some indication of this in the Titus 2 passage with the use the term “older”.
Another aspect of learning from each other, is that all Christians are called to encourage and strengthen each other. We can and should learn from other women no matter where they are in life. So while I said, don’t look first to “middle aged” moms, (OK, somehow that sounds worse than being an older mom, am I really middle aged??) or moms with young children, I’m not saying that they don’t have wisdom and encouragement to offer. We should all, no matter our age or stage in life, seek to build up the saints with love.
Titus 2: Mentoring Younger Moms
Titus 2: Finding the Time to Mentor
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Hi, I'm Kimberly. 
I also would love to mentor other ladies and help them along in their journey – but I often get pulled back by my family obligations, which are of course my priority right now. I am finally learning one of the points you mentioned in this article – moms with kids that are still homeschooling are probably not the best choice to lead such a group, much as we might really really want to. I am realizing that, at this season in my life, homeschooling and raising my little ones is my priority and once I go all the way through this thing, I’ll have even more experience to offer another family!
By the way, CONGRATULATIONS on your nominations! I was also nominated for Best New Blog and am so honored to be in the same category alongside your wonderful blog!!
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Raising Olives Reply:
November 12th, 2009 at 5:41 pm
You’re right, prioritize. It’s so easy to get pulled away from what is important.
Congrats on your nomination!
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Great post, once again….
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Thank you for your good comments, here! What you’ve said seems reasonable and wise. Thank you for making the time and effort to share through your blog. –Sleepy, an older mom of a younger child
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My husband always asks, “Who are you mentoring? and Who is mentoring you?” We are always older, and farther down the path than someone, and there is always someone further than us down the road. God does not leave us on our own. Sometimes I have 3-4 godly women I am learning from at a time- with different focus’, etc.
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Excellent post.
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Such a greast post! I wish I were closer to the older women in our church!
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Raising Olives Reply:
November 12th, 2009 at 5:42 pm
Thanks Rachel. Now’s the time to get closer to those older women, what a wealth of knowledge we have around us.
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For me at least, finding that last part is the hard bit.
teaching what is good – This is defined for us in the next verses. They should teach younger women to love their husbands and children, be sensible and pure, be kind, be a worker at home and to be subject to their own husband.
I grew up in churches where being ‘subject to ones own husband’ really didn’t happen for most, and it’s still something I’m struggling to understand as I’ve never seen it practised myself. Gossip and other such things were common among the women, and the few older women that didn’t fit these categories felt that the youth of the church was leading the church down a bad path (a fact that was actually true) and weren’t exactly there to mentor the women. Our youth pastor, a young woman who still lived at home and had never had a boyfriend or a job outside the church, was their role model, though many of us ‘outgrew’ her guidance quite fast as we began to live things she hadn’t.
I’ve moved to a new church and I’m very hopeful of finding some friends in the older age groups there. Though I don’t think a Titus 2 woman necessarily needs to be in grand-parenting years, as long as they have the time to take out for you. Anyone further down our own path can teach many useful things. a woman with children 6 and under can be invaluable to someone holding their first newborn.
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Raising Olives Reply:
November 12th, 2009 at 5:45 pm
We’ve been blessed to be in such good churches with such amazing families, that I think sometimes I take that for granted.
I agree with you, that it is not necessary for a Titus 2 woman to be in the grand parenting years. I just think that sometimes those in that age group are overlooked in preference for younger women and I don’t think that should be either.
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Great post!
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There is an older lady (a grandmother who is also a widow) in our church that she always knows what is happening with everyone. She is the one that sends the cards, brings in some food, goes visiting at the hospital and approaches the newcomers. She approached me some years ago when I only had my first daughter (we are currently baking #4)and she has been a friend ever since. At first she didn’t stay long, and would come and drop off a desert dish and leave quickly. Since I am from South America I am used to people dropping in without notice and staying and visiting, so I thought it was very strange that she wouldn’t stay. I learned that it’s part of the cultural way of being American and not wanting to intrude.
Little by little, we have become friends and she invites me and the children to her house often, showers my babies with gifts and me with her sweet conversation. 
I really enjoy her. Sometimes when we meet I feel like a thirsty drinker coming to a well. I try to remind myself to go easy on the questions and issues. LOL She is a joy and she is so needed. Everyone in church loves her. 
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Raising Olives Reply:
November 18th, 2009 at 2:15 am
Thank you for sharing your sweet experience and your wonderful friend. She sounds like the perfect Titus 2 lady. I pray that God will raise up more women like her!
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