Titus 2: Mentoring Younger Moms

Can I talk to you moms who have older children?  Those of you who have been homeschooling for several years now?  Who have begun to see the fruit of your labors in your older children?  Do you remember when you were overwhelmed?  When you didn’t know which way to turn or how to start?  Do you remember how much you longed for advice and support?

Perhaps you weren’t overwhelmed, perhaps you knew what you wanted to do and where you were going.  Looking back do you see how someone who was older and wiser could have helped you to sail more smoothly down this road that God has called you?  Have you ever thought or said, “If I only knew then what I know now…”?

When I was a younger mom and had all small children (3 kids 2 and younger and then 4 kids 3 and younger).  I was overwhelmed.  I was longing for help.  I needed a Titus 2 woman.  For a variety of reasons, I was on my own except for my mother, who was dealing with some serious health issues.  It was that difficult, challenging period of time when Mark and I realized what God has called our family to try to fill this void.

In Titus 2 God tells older women to “teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.”

So those of you who fall into this category, are you fulfilling your calling?  Are you taking opportunity to help and encourage moms who are younger than you?

Just making yourself available can be a tremendous encouragement.  One of the ways that moms in our church do this is that they make the time to come to our mom’s group.  They don’t need to come, they already know most of what we are discussing.  They come to offer their counsel and wisdom to those of us who are still struggling down the path and to offer balance when we get too impetuous.   They come to give of themselves to encourage and strengthen the next generation.

You may want to read my follow up posts:

Titus 2: Who’s Qualified

Titus 2: Finding the Time to Mentor

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42 Responses to Titus 2: Mentoring Younger Moms
  1. Anita Chamblee
    November 3, 2009 | 1:01 pm

    Jeff and I longed for years to have an older couple that we could look up to, who had already walked through the homeschooling adventure or were at least a few steps ahead of us. We never found that couple. We did become that couple to several others, though. I have mentored several moms with younger children…listened to them and counseled when appropriate. We have led co-op groups for many years, have served on the board of our local homeschooling support group and have hosted book studies in our home. We are currently looking for some younger families to share with now. One thing that we have noticed through the years is that so many families come into homeschooling with a core set of convictions based on God’s Word and as the children grow older and are involved in more of the world’s activities the parents allow more and more until that core set of convictions has dissolved and you really don’t know on what or where they stand. Homeschooling is tough, but such a blessing. I am thankful for the 22 years that we have been allowed to grow with our children and look forward to 18 more years!

    [Reply]

    Raising Olives Reply:

    I’m so thankful for families like yours who have made the time to help younger families. We have been blessed with those in our lives now and are thankful for what we learn from them.

    We’ve also noticed families changing their convictions as their children become more involved in outside activities. We are still watching, evaluating and praying as we enter the teen years.

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    Kimarie Reply:

    We have also seen many families change convictions as their families grow and spread out, and it has been sad to watch. We praise God that it has also greatly saddened our children, as they speak of it frequently. It gives us more opportunity to remind them of all sorts of things we’ve been teaching them through the years.

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  2. Gapgirl
    November 3, 2009 | 1:24 pm

    I agree. So many younger moms out there are yearning for Titus 2 women. For Godly wisdom and council. Its so sad that busyness has gotten in the way of some. But praise God for the Titus women who are out there helping!!
    XoxoGapGirl

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    Kathy H Reply:

    I am here and available! Anyone in the Kelso Washington area interested????

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  3. Heidi
    November 3, 2009 | 3:08 pm

    As someone who has been yearning for this woman in my life, thank you for posting this.

    Choosing to live a life of home is lonely sometimes.

    Having even one person affirm your choices can make a huge difference.

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    Raising Olives Reply:

    Blessings to you Heidi and to all the others out there who are missing this generation of Godly women.

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  4. JenT
    November 3, 2009 | 3:28 pm

    I would love to have a Titus 2 woman in my life. My mom lives close by, but she doesn’t understand a lot of what we do or why. I have friends my age, but really, we need to be learning from an older, wiser Christian lady. Thanks for the post.
    BTW – when is your next ladies’ meeting? I would really like to attend.

    [Reply]

    Raising Olives Reply:

    Tuesday, November 10 at 7:30. I hope that you can make it.

    Anyone else in the Knoxville area? Feel free to email me.

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  5. tereza crump AKA MyTreasuredCreations
    November 3, 2009 | 4:19 pm

    I also have longed to find the Titus 2 woman to share with me, or an older couple to share with my husband and I. unfortunately, I have not found either one. We go to a church filled with public school teachers and busy career people. I have given up on finding such counsel here and have turned to God, books and the internet to find the answers to my questions. I wish there were some families with similar values as ours but they are not where we live. And I live in a small town in the South. (where is everybody hiding? :)

    I am always willing to share what I know and my experiences but there are just not many interested people around here. I find that many Christian families are too busy pursuing goals dictated by the world system. People are busy. They have no time to sit down, enjoy a meal and each other.

    I am from Brazil and all my family lives there, so I get to have some wonderful fellowship with my MOM and DAd when they come to visit, which praise the Lord is at least once a year. Other than that, we really don’t have any family around to help us out. But hey, I am not complaining. I believe there is a reason for everything. We learn to depend on the Lord when we don’t have anything or anyone else to lean on. :)

    One thing I really enjoy about homeschooling is that we don’t have to do the rush thing. We can take our time enjoying our children, learning together, being together. I hate the social events that have a time to start and a time to end. Everything is too organized here in the US. there is no room for spontaneity.

    One of the things I try really hard not to do is to repeat the school room experience at home. I want to follow with my children’s desire to learn and not limit and box it.

    I truly enjoy your blog and all the information you share. Thanks again, :)

    Tereza

    [Reply]

    Raising Olives Reply:

    I think the internet is a blessing as it is able to link those who are like-minded even if we are separated geographically.

    We are also in the south, but maybe not as far south as you are. :)

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  6. Tiffany
    November 3, 2009 | 5:25 pm

    Thanks for your comment on my blog and you are trully blessed as well.

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  7. thesleepyknitter
    November 3, 2009 | 5:45 pm

    I would SO love to have a mentor! Apart from the two weeks of “Diaper Bootcamp” at our daughter’s orphanage, we had no childcare experience before we brought her home. We live far away from family and are surrounded by busy career people. My first five months of motherhood were some of the toughest months of my life (even though our daughter is an unusually sweet, docile little gal). Most of what I know about motherhood, I learned from the Internet. “She’s dragging her left leg? Google it! She won’t swallow? Google!” Google is my Titus 2 woman. And really, Aunty Google does all right. We read 70 or 80 posts on a chat site in which parents had noticed that a young toddler was dragging one leg, and were able to come up with a reasonable response to our situation. But it would still be wonderful to have a local, flesh-and-blood aunty full of good advice and stories. We’re adopting a second child, a boy from the same orphanage, and compared to our sedate, dignified little princess, he’s a real “firecracker,” so the orphanage tells us. Will I survive? Lord, have mercy! :-) I do love your website and have learned a lot about parenting from it. I came to it during a “commercial spurt” for product reviews, but eventually it came back around to a time when you were able to talk about raising your family, and I have learned so much from it. Thank you for all your work!

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    Raising Olives Reply:

    Sorry about the “commercial spurt”. I currently don’t have a choice in what and how many homeschool products that I review, (I’m contracted by The Old Schoolhouse Magazine) but my time with them will finish come summertime. Being so busy with reviews is frustrating as it is tough to write other content and that is the true focus of this blog.

    Thanks for sticking around. :)

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  8. thesleepyknitter
    November 3, 2009 | 5:47 pm

    By the way — me again — I love the outfits your daughters are wearing in the new photo at the top of your blog. Are those specifically swim outfits, made of typical swimsuit fabric? Do you sew those or order them from somewhere? I’d be interested in one for me!

    Blessings,
    Sleepy

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    Raising Olives Reply:

    Yes, we purchase them from Swim Modest.com.

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  9. Christin
    November 3, 2009 | 5:53 pm

    Thank you for this. I am one of those younger moms who desperately needs help along the way! I cherish the wise words of seasoned moms SO MUCH. I have found the advice to be helpful and will probably see more fruit later, as my children grow.
    Thank you for challenging the wiser moms to rise to the occasion. I often think some of these moms don’t consider themselves “qualified”, but little do they know! ;-)

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  10. Alice
    November 3, 2009 | 6:57 pm

    This is EXACTLY what I want to be when I “grow up”! :) I am not there yet. I am actually at the stage where I really long for a Titus 2 woman to help me – I have four boys under the age of 5 and hoping for God to bless us with more children. I have just started homeschooling this September. I don’t have family nearby, and we are the only family at my church who homeschool, and only the second family with more than 3 children. Since my second baby was born, and I really saw the passage in Titus 2 with my eyes open for the first time, I have been praying that God will bless me to become a Titus 2 woman in my community, when I’m older and more experienced. I am excited about it and I can’t wait! I see a big “gap in the market” at my church, and where I live in general, and I’m excited to see how God will use me to fill it!

    But, meanwhile I could really really use a Titus 2 woman myself. I get mine online. You are one of them! :) You recently took the time to write a long response to a question I posted in your comments about my rather unruly children (where to go from here), and reading your advice was such a relief, such a weight off my shoulders! I read it to my husband and we rejoiced in having someone available to help us in that way, over the internet. And we started implementing some of it right away. Thank you so much!

    [Reply]

    Raising Olives Reply:

    Thank you Alice. I’m glad that you found my email helpful. I’m adding you and other moms out there who are seeking for Titus 2 women to my regular prayer list. There is a “gap”, but God also knows that and provides in many ways.

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  11. tereza crump AKA MyTreasuredCreations
    November 3, 2009 | 7:13 pm

    Once I told my husband that I felt like I was the only one going through this. But with the internet I get to see and be encouraged that there are others like me submitting and following God’s prompting. titus 2 is an out of this world call. With all the Christian feminist women around (I was one.) titus 2 is like asking them to put their lives down and take up a cross!!! HAhahahahaha Revelation or what?? :)

    Anyway, I found many blogs and websites of families like ours all over the world and the USA going against the trends. I am always in awe of our God!!!! Praise JEsus!!

    anyway, I live in Alabama. :) My husband has been hoping to move to Brazil…now that is really south!!! :)

    tereza

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    Raising Olives Reply:

    I do think that Titus 2 is a call to lay down our lives. I think that is why we see a dearth of these women, it isn’t that their aren’t any experienced, Christian women around, it is that many forget that just as serving their husbands and raising their children was their calling while their children were at home that they still have a specific, home-based call after their children have left home.

    I think that the internet is a wonderful way to experience some of the benefits of Titus 2, but ultimately knowing someone face to face who can talk specifically to you is the goal. :)

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  12. abba12
    November 3, 2009 | 7:38 pm

    I don’t think that the idea of Titus 2 applies only to mothers trying to raise children. I’m only recently married and I’d love some help figuring out this marriage thing!

    Of course I, like the others, do not have that woman. I suppose my mother-in-law would help me if I asked her, but our views differ on a lot of things.

    My solution is subscribing to blogs, lots of blogs, too many blogs :P I read what they have to say. Sure I still have specific questions but the general advice given is so very helpful.

    [Reply]

    Raising Olives Reply:

    You are absolutely right. Titus 2 women are to teach younger women to love their husband, be keepers at home, self-controlled, pure, kind and subject to their own husbands, in addition to loving their children.

    I also would counsel you to use your mother-in-law as a Titus 2 woman. Even though your views are very different, if she is a Christian she will have something to offer to you. Notice the Biblical qualifications of a Titus 2 woman. They should be reverent, not slanderers nor addicted to much wine and teach what is good. If your mother-in-law fills those qualifications, then God says she should be teaching younger women.

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  13. Sasha @ Small Town Mamma
    November 3, 2009 | 9:27 pm

    As one of the mums of little children, I too am struggling to find a Titus 2 role model who lives close by. My own mum is wonderful, but lives over an hour away and we only see her every couple of weeks.

    Our church does not have ANY other families with young children who come on a regular basis! Not even any other families with older children!

    We go to a playgroup, which is helpful to discuss things with other mums of young kids, but there are no older women who come to fill a ‘mentoring’ role.

    I, too, use my spare time to follow inspiring blogs that give me strength, encouragement and some great ideas, for this mothering journey.

    [Reply]

    Raising Olives Reply:

    Don’t forget to seek out “older” women. If your church doesn’t have other families with children, what about those women whose children are grown and gone? They probably have a lot of wisdom to offer and the time to share it with you.

    See my response to Abba12 to remember the qualifications of a Titus 2 woman.

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  14. Mama Mirage
    November 4, 2009 | 2:43 am

    Thank you. It would be so nice to have a mentor in person. Without the internet I know where I’d be and it isn’t pretty.

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    Raising Olives Reply:

    Praying for God to provide a real-life Titus 2 woman for you.

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  15. Diana
    November 4, 2009 | 9:40 am

    I, too, love reading blogs like yours for “mentoring” purposes…it truly is a ministry and I thank you for it! I have a question: if women are to mentor to the younger women and women are to “be busy at home”, how do they find the balance between the two? Over the years, i have prayed for a mentoring couple for me and my husband or even just a woman mentoring to me…when we talked to the couple and I to the women, they all 3 seemed to be too busy and I could tell they didn’t want to take time away from their own family (which is understandable) or they felt like they weren’t knowledgeable enough…I am 31 years old and new to homeschooling and being a helpmeet/keeper of my home…I do feel like I need a mentor and hope one day that my husband & I can mentor a young couple but in order to do so, I know we need mentoring first. Any thoughts?? :)

    [Reply]

    Raising Olives Reply:

    I think that we sometimes mistakenly look at the wrong group of women to be our Titus 2 heroes. Now this is just theory because obviously Titus 2 just states that the women should be older, so in theory I can and should strive to be a Titus 2 mentor to women in their early twenties. I think that the women who have both the time and the wisdom to mentor younger women are women whose children are fully grown.

    I don’t think that women with children still in the home are exempt, I just think that sometimes as we search for what we think that we need, we overlook what it is that we truly need.

    OK, so this reply became a post, so I will post some more thoughts on this later. :)

    [Reply]

    Diana Reply:

    Thanks so much for replying to my question! I look forward to reading more on this topic and I can’t wait to read your post on ideas for a VERY busy 3 year old boy that continuese to get into mischief all day long…especially during homeschooling…(I had asked for suggestions on that as well and you said you would write a post on that…this was a couple of weeks ago, so I can’t wait to read it, too!!) Looking forward to both posts! Not sure if you do public speaking, but if you ever do, please post on your site because I am only an hour from Knovville and would love to meet you! :) Again, thanks for taking the time to write so others like me can read and learn so much!!

    [Reply]

    Raising Olives Reply:

    Thanks for reminding me about the VERY busy 3 yo ideas. I may have to email you directly, because if I post it I want to have nice pictures and links and who knows when I’ll get around to that. :)

    I’m not a public speaker, but I’ve learned to never say never. If you’re interested in coming to one of our mom’s meetings, just email me and I’ll give you details.

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  16. Dawn
    November 4, 2009 | 6:05 pm

    As they say, “It takes a village.” But the rest of the saying may include “to raise children”, “to encourage parents”, “to support a marriage”, “to help the elderly” etc. etc. Thanks for the reminder.

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  17. Mama Mirage
    November 5, 2009 | 11:08 am

    I think that age isn’t always just physical age. A woman can be older in experience. Lots of women my age have twice as many kids who are twice as old as mine and though they are the same age, they might have some wonderful Godly lessons they’ve learned to share with me since I’m younger in experience. I’ll be 27 in December so with only 2 kids ages 1 and 3, alot of women my age and even younger might have good advice for me in the childrearing department. Likewise, some people my age or older than me may have just gotten married, and since I have been married for 7 1/2 years I might have something to say about marriage that would help them.
    The internet is a great thing in that, in person it might be hard for a woman to take advice from another woman who is obviously younger. But on the internet we know each other by our stories, by our kids, by what we talk about. Not by our age. On the internet, we forget about age and look at experience and it’s easier to recognize the gems of wisdom from those who are younger because we don’t see them as an age.

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    Raising Olives Reply:

    I think that these are good points. I wrote more about these things in my next post (not published yet). So stay tuned.

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  18. thesleepyknitter
    November 5, 2009 | 1:49 pm

    Thank you, Mama Olive, for answering my off-topic question about the swimwear! I followed the link you offered and LOVED the suits. I’ll send this link to everyone I know who hates buying swim suits — these suits look so comfortable and so not-embarrassing. They make me willing to reconsider taking our daughter to our local swimming pool for lessons. Blessings! –Sleepy

    [Reply]

    Raising Olives Reply:

    I really should see if I can become an affiliate for Swim Modest, we’ve sent so many customers their way. :)

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  19. Amanda Sikes
    November 5, 2009 | 4:14 pm

    This post is so true. I am a pastor’s wife and have felt many times that I would love to have a mentor not only for me as a mother but also as a pastor’s wife. Someone that had been serving behind their husband for many years and could encourage and answer questions when they arose. I have not found any “like-minded” women in my church or local area. I have found several mothers to large famlies that I have gleaned countless ideas from but all on the internet. I don’t like that I had to turn here but until the Lord answers my prayer for a Titus 2 women to mentor me, I will use the tools He has blessed me with.

    Longing for such a women though has showen me that I want to break that cycle and I am encouraging other mom’s with young children to “mentor” the teenage and college age young ladies in our church to prepare them for Godly motherhood and wifehood. May God spur on all of us to break this cycle and to be there for the next generation of mothers.

    Thank you for such an encouraging blog. The homeschool information is priceless to me. I have used many of your ideas.
    (Sorry this is so long)

    [Reply]

    Raising Olives Reply:

    Never apologize for a long comment.

    You’re right, the internet is not an ideal answer. Your encouragement to moms to “mentor” teens and college kids is a good idea. Hopefully it will help get them geared into helping others and when they hit the stage of life that that is one of their main priorities they will be prepared.

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  20. thesleepyknitter
    November 6, 2009 | 1:45 pm

    Just curious, after reading all these posts from women like me who use the Internet as our Titus 2 woman, since we don’t have a flesh-and-blood one around: What if some mothers of older children got together and created at Titus 2 website? Maybe there’s already something like that out there. Just wondering! Blessings, Sleepy

    [Reply]

    Raising Olives Reply:

    I’m not sure if there is something like this available. I do know that many personal blogs seem to have that type of focus and goal.

    You may be interested in MOMYS.com. Have you seen that? I know that I have friends who have really enjoyed the resources available. I joined years ago, but have never had the time to keep up.

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    Mama Mirage Reply:

    There sort of is actually; it’s a blog called “At The Well- In Pursuit of Titus 2.” Various Godly women contribute their wisdom.

    I also started a message board for conservative Christian homeschoolers called “God’s Homeschool” for the purpose of mentorship and swapping of ideas, inspiration, and uplifting each other in the Spirit. Any homeschooling Christian mommy who agrees with the statement of faith is welcome to join. It’s still new so it’s not huge yet. We’ve got 10 members. ;) I keep the actual posting private from non-members for safety reasons.

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  21. Diana
    November 7, 2009 | 11:55 am

    I would love it if you e-mailed me with suggestions! I will tell you that while my husband is FOR homeschooling…when it comes to my 3 yr old’s antics/mischief, he sometimes wonders if it wouldnt be better if my 7 yr old was in school, so that I can focus on 3 yr old’s character issues. Did that make sense? 3 yr old does make it incredibly difficult to get through day-by-day, so whenever you have that extra time, I need suggestions!! Have a great weekend!

    [Reply]

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