Comments on: Do You Have Your Child’s Heart?

By: Laura

Laura — Wed, 20 Jan 2010 16:19:08 +0000

I work at a small private Christian school and was wondering if you would allow me to copy short excerpts from your website in our school newsletter? I love what you have to say about our winning children’s hearts! I think this is the most important thing we can do in life:)

By: Kimberly @ Raising Olives

Kimberly @ Raising Olives — Mon, 11 Jan 2010 20:49:30 +0000

It is an uphill battle and the biggest answer is prayer. Remember, we serve an all powerful God, nothing is too difficult and it’s never too late.

By: Kimberly @ Raising Olives

Kimberly @ Raising Olives — Mon, 11 Jan 2010 20:48:28 +0000

You are not strong enough to do it, but you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you.

Praise God that you know what to do and beg Him to help you be faithful to what He has called you.

He who began a good work in you will not fail to complete it.

By: Kimberly @ Raising Olives

Kimberly @ Raising Olives — Mon, 11 Jan 2010 20:45:53 +0000

I’m hoping to talk about some of these things. The first thing to remember is that God is gracious and He is the one that controls the heart of the king (and the hearts of our kids). Pray, pray, pray and be obedient to God’s Word. He is the one who blesses us in all things, especially relationships.

When I finish posting on this, I’ll ask for questions, please feel free to ask, if there are things that I didn’t address. (and I’m sure that there will be.)

By: Kimberly @ Raising Olives

Kimberly @ Raising Olives — Mon, 11 Jan 2010 20:39:45 +0000

I have many of those same thoughts.

I think this one of the beautiful things about homeschooling. Even though it seems that they would get a better education elsewhere, that God somehow blesses our faithfulness and multiplies our efforts.

God bless your efforts.

By: Kimberly @ Raising Olives

Kimberly @ Raising Olives — Mon, 11 Jan 2010 20:25:19 +0000

Of course the best thing you can do is pray.

I hope that I will address some of that indirectly in my upcoming posts. If you still have questions feel free to ask.

By: Nicki

Nicki — Sat, 09 Jan 2010 04:37:40 +0000

I am enjoying this series, and I am with Tina: what if you need to win one back? My oldest has been heavily influenced by her dad (my ex). She gets regular, twice-monthly, weekend-long doses of “Your mom is a religious freak, God doesn’t exist, homeschool is stupid, you shouldn’t have to do chores” etc., and let me tell you, it is an UPHILL battle. We spend a lot of time praying, talking, and UNdoing what he does, but it’s not easy. According to the lists above, I don’t have her heart, and it breaks my heart. So I am definitely looking forward to more of this series. And your prayers. Keep up the good work!

By: Kate N.

Kate N. — Sat, 09 Jan 2010 01:42:26 +0000

your posts made me fall to my knees. this is EXACTLY the reason that we are choosing to homeschool…but i never had the right words for it. it was just this tangible problem that i could go in circles describing but i could never name it. my heart aches for our children. through a series of events over the past two years, we have lost our childrens’ hearts (public school hasn’t helped either).
i know in my heart the steps we need to take to get their hearts back. but i don’t know if we are strong enough to do it. i would ask that you would pray for us in this endeavor, as i will keep all of you in my prayers.

thank you for writing and allowing His grace to move through you!

By: Tina

Tina — Fri, 08 Jan 2010 09:00:17 +0000

What if you feel you have lost your child’s heart? How can you get it back? I’m only just starting to homeschool and I think being in the school system has created a lot of bad attitudes in my children. Sometimes they are helpful and obliging and friendly, but other times they are disrespectful and grudgingly obedient and argumentive and resentful. What can I do to regain their hearts?

By: Cara

Cara — Fri, 08 Jan 2010 05:44:23 +0000

This is exactly what I needed to hear! Thank you so much! Sometimes (OK, most of the time) I doubt my ability to homeschool (even though I have a teaching degree:). I get so hard on myself for not living up to my expectations of what I should/could be doing if only… I was more organized, had better resources, could figure out a system that works! Just tonight I was thinking about how they would probably get a better education if they went to school and that I would be less stressed out all of the time, and as a result of that, I would be a better/nicer mommy. Now I realize that I have my priorities ALL wrong! Tomorrow, I will make it my goal and highest priority to simply “have” my children’s hearts… in school, in work, and in play. I believe that could make all the difference in the world. I really needed this encouragement! Thank you!!!

By: Roan

Roan — Fri, 08 Jan 2010 05:03:39 +0000

I think your lists were very accurate.
Thanks for this series. I love working on gaining the hearts of my children!

By: Brooke Breck

Brooke Breck — Fri, 08 Jan 2010 03:05:16 +0000

This made me happy and sad. My kids are only 5, 3, and 1 but the 5 year old girl is my hardest. It really made me wonder if U truly have her heart. I will be working on that more for sure. I already here comments like, “I hate myself. I just want to die. No body loves me.” It is usually said when I (gasp) ask her to clean her room or such but it still concerns me a lot. And no I don’t say those things myself so not sure where she got it.

By: Kimberly @ Raising Olives

Kimberly @ Raising Olives — Thu, 07 Jan 2010 23:07:38 +0000

I think that I would simply explain it to her just like that and then work on gaining/keeping her heart.

I encourage you to read Esther’s comments on this post and the first one in this series. This is where I plan on going as I continue to post about having your child’s heart. Simply pouring yourself into your children.

By: Kimberly @ Raising Olives

Kimberly @ Raising Olives — Thu, 07 Jan 2010 23:01:01 +0000

I think that you’ve said this beautifully. Perhaps you should be writing these posts. The bottom line, I think, in gaining your child’s heart is loving them and giving ourself to them. We love because Christ loved us and gave Himself for us.

Please don’t apologize for long comments. They are wonderful.

By: Kimberly @ Raising Olives

Kimberly @ Raising Olives — Thu, 07 Jan 2010 22:52:07 +0000

Yes, I think the term “home discipling” is more appropriate. I often think that homeschoolers are so focused on academics that they are missing and sometimes sacrificing what is most important. Well, at least what is important to our family.

Home discipling is much more what we are after, the “education” is icing on the cake.

Thanks Anita. I’m hoping you’ll share often as I post this series, please.

By: Diana

Diana — Thu, 07 Jan 2010 22:51:38 +0000

Wow! These posts are real eye-opening for me! And absolutely perfect timing! My oldest attends public middle school and just recently have I noticed that I don’t have her heart which is so sad for me to admit…I thought I did. As some would say that this is just an act of rebellion and “typical” for tweens/teenagers…I disagree with people when they tell me that…an act of rebellion is normal according to the world’s standards…not Biblical standards. I do have a question though: My daughter wants to do an extracurricular activity at school in addition to the one she already does…I feel like she does enough with school and the other activity that takes up most of her free time anyways. We want her home more to spend quality time with our family…Family and dear friends have told me that I am manipulating her by explaining to her why I don’t want her to participate in this activity and that I am making her feel like she can’t and shouldn’t do the activity (are you still following me??) Anyways, my question basically is how do I explain to her that I am not manipulating her but guiding her as a parent should? I hope this makes sense but I want her and to know that when I do things it is out of love and I have no hidden agendas. Thanks! ~Diana

By: Kimberly @ Raising Olives

Kimberly @ Raising Olives — Thu, 07 Jan 2010 22:47:26 +0000

I think that is a great example of having your child’s heart!!

By: Esther

Esther — Thu, 07 Jan 2010 19:35:32 +0000

There are cherised quiet times, when one of my sons has my full attention. It is usually at night or when the others are busy playing or doing something else, but there are other times, when it just happens from out of nowhere. One of those occasions my son told me something that happened years ago, but still causing problem for his faith. He used to tell me things about my or his daddy’s behaviour that he didn’t like. Sometimes he is right and sometimes he is not, but I highly appreciate that kind of sincerity, though it doesn’t happen often.

When I read this post it just came in my mind, that ‘winning’ my child’s heart may mean that I need to take the time learning him. Learning who he really is as an individual of God’s: his fears deep down, the things he is enthusiastic about, and what makes him angry or frustrated. This means ‘quality time’ which comes from a lot of time close together. It may sound impossible to accomplish in a large family, but I think it is not. It is about ME being available almost all the time. So if he wants to say something, I am able to listen. And also, it is listening to God’s guidance and praying for that kid. God can lead me to quiet places and He can help blessed coversations. The question is: do I really want to listen or I am too busy, having ‘better’ things to do… That is the thing I am struggling these days, but I am improving… slowly.:)

Sorry to be so looong.:)

Great post again. Thank you.

God bless you:

Hungarian mommy:)

By: Anita Chamblee

Anita Chamblee — Thu, 07 Jan 2010 16:01:43 +0000

This summer we were in Iowa filming the Fathers of Vision conference and heard Kevin Swanson speak. He refers to “home educating” as “home discipling” (sp?) and I think for so many that is a much better definition of what we are doing with our children in our homes.

By: celee

celee — Thu, 07 Jan 2010 15:45:40 +0000

I inadvertently hurt my oldest child’s feelings the other day. He accidentally let the dog out and went after him. It took him a while to get back with him, but it never crossed my mind that he had gotten lost in our neighborhood. (The kids walk to my mom’s, mother-in-law’s, and grandmother’s houses so know the neighborhood pretty well). Anyway, he thought he was lost and was scared and had his feelings hurt that I wasn’t out looking for him. It all worked out alright. He caught the dog in his grandma’s courtyard and borrowed a leash from her. Meanwhile Nana had seen his sister walking looking for her brother and the dog and she took her around until they found him. I was home with the little ones napping and never worried once. The point of that long story is, my son came to me that night and told me it had hurt his feelings and I was able to apologize to him. I was thinking after reading your posts on keeping our children’s hearts that maybe this was a good sign. Rather than becoming bitter and angry, he came to me and told me what was troubling him so I could make it right. I felt bad about hurting him and had had no idea he felt that way. I’m so glad he felt he could talk to me about it.