No, my quality/quantity time does not all come in the form of housework/homework. That is just how I fit in more time and hopefully communicate to my kids that I’m always available.

I actually play games and read “for fun” books to the children every day. That is where the schedule comes in. For example, I know that after chores each morning I will play a game, read a book and sing a couple songs with my two youngest boys. After lunch I read some books, visit and snuggle with our four youngest children and each evening we spend time with our older children.

I also try to have regular tea parties with the girls and of course every Friday night is Family Fun night, where we play games or watch a fun movie and sleep with the children.

Anyway, this is one of the things we look at and consider when we build our schedule, “Are we spending enough time focusing and being with our kids?” The goal is to put it in the schedule so that life doesn’t get in the way, pushing the play time out.

Thanks for letting me clarify and any more questions/comments are always welcome.

But what you are saying is that your quality/ quantity time is in the form of housework or homework? Do you sit down and play games? I know my children crave my attention because they have not seen me for 9 hours. We do some “work” together but they want games and play.

This is one reason that I like having a schedule. I list out everything that I need to do and the amount of time that I think it should take to accomplish each task. Then Mark and I sit down and prioritize what is most important. For example, if I’m spending more time each week keeping the house clean than I am interacting with the children, we will change that. This allows us to evaluate where I’m spending my time and prioritize what needs to be done. This also helps Mark to understand what I’m doing each day and he gets to have a say in what is going on in his house.

I’m not saying to stick rigidly to a schedule, but knowing where your time is going can be a valuable tool.

I think that the bottom line in this is being available. You don’t have to be playing a game to spend quality and quantity time with your kids. Each morning I start and switch the laundry with the help of my little ones. We talk and laugh and they take turns starting the washer and/or dryer and running the lint to the trash can for me.

When I’m working on an organizing project (say cleaning out a closet) I always pick one or two children to help me. They run quick errands. We talk and just spend time enjoying each others company.

I think another factor is your educational choices. We’ve made choices in our homeschool that allow us to spend the majority of our school day interacting with each other. These were purposeful choices on our part and require a certain educational approach to accomplish. (We can’t hand each child a stack of workbooks at the beginning of the day and check them at the end of the day. I must be involved in the actual teaching and discussion of what everyone is learning and we must be learning it together.) I’m not saying that this approach is necessary to be a godly parent. It is just something that has been beneficial for our family as we strive to build these relationships.

I do hope to get my thoughts and ideas more together on this and work up a complete post.

If you have more specific questions or if I was unclear, please let me know.

Thanks!

I would not call myself wise. Wisdom is doing what we know to be right and knowledge is the knowing part. I struggle each day to do what I know. I sin and fail constantly and one of my most repeated prayers is asking God for forgiveness for my failures and that He will show mercy to my children and will bless them and cause them to be much more Godly than I.

I would say that the knowledge that I do have comes from my parents Godly teaching and example and God’s grace.

I was raised and homeschooled in a Christian home and my parents took the time to teach me God’s Word. They put in quantity and quality time with me, taught me Deuteronomy 6 by example, taught me to obey scripture even when no one else was and loved me Biblically.

I can not say enough about the benefit my parents gave to me before I was married or had a family. When Mark and I met, my parents took him in as their own. My father spent many hours talking and teaching Mark and he was part of our family before we formed our own.

So both Mark and I owe a great deal to my parents and their willingness to pour themselves into us.

We have also learned a lot from our continued walk with God and His graciousness to us. He has proved Himself faithful to us over and over and over and He has brought us through trials and struggles when He has shown us more of our weaknesses and failings and pulled us more closely to Himself.

Having many children has certainly forced us to grow, shown us our sin and been a source that God has used in our walk, but He could have used anything that He wished to accomplish His will in our lives. I’m thankful that He has chosen the challenge and blessing of having a large family.

But for that, I only need to birth quadruplets and twins. Maybe it’s no big deal, because my younger siblings are triplets.:) However, that is only a number of children. And what about wisdom?… hmmm… I need more!

Kimberly, can I ask a question? Does your wisdom come from having 9 children and one on the way? Or is it something you just gained from having an intimate relationship with God? Or the former formed the latter? (funny sentence…) Anyway, I think you are so blessed.

Your posts are great, do you mind if I link to them next week?

Love the post. Great as always. I so agree.
God Bless- Big Hugs

Many people, even christian mothers think, that it is sufficient and enough to occasionally listen to their kids. At these times, they sit down with them, and ask questions about school and life, and they are expecting ‘talk-flood’ from their youngsters. But usually, that flood doesn’t happen- and no wonder why. Because nobody can force another person at a certain time to open his heart up for him for ten minutes or for half an hour- just to be neglected for days or weeks after that. The key is availability. Many loving parents did’t realize, that there’s no such think as quality time by itself! QUALITY COMES FROM QUANTITY. You need to spend many many many hours (and I mean it literally) watching and listening to your children. You don’t even need to ask questions. Just be with them, and let them feel your presence. And then, you need to listen to them. I think, this is the hardest part. To sit still smiling, and look into their eyes while they are chatting, talking and talking to you about everything. Sometimes it is so hard for me not to close my ears and my heart at them – even when they are talking almost continuously all-day-long! But I know, there is no other way I can have their quality time. Because in this way, I build relationships between me and each of them uniquely. So that each of them get to know, that mom is a person that he can trust with his secrets and one who he can count on- probably one of few in the eary years… I think this is very important.

Thank you for this well-written post. I liked it- it has made me thoughtful!