Also, this is OT but was brought to mind by one of the linked posts. What are your feelings about homebirth now? I had a homebirth with my second (there was no way I was going to have a homebirth with my first) and although I loved it, I am constantly torn on the issue because of stories like the one about your little boy. But, maybe that’s something to answer in a post if you feel up to it.

BTW, I just stumbled upon your blog a couple of days ago and I love it!

We’ve had this same basic sleep schedule since our oldest children were little (15 years) and have not had a problem with anyone falling asleep at 7. I think some of the keys are consistency and an early wake time.

You may be interested in my post on early bedtimes, my answer to the question of how we get them to fall asleep so early and my answers to questions about getting up early.

My husband was in the Air Force for 20 years (he was in boot camp on our first anniversay, and we already had an infant).

He worked shift work for the first 15 years of his career, and in the military you are always on call. Of course sometimes he was also on more urgent stand-by, when he had to wear a pager, and he was often not only on call, but getting that call meant he was leaving the country where we were then living. There was also a period where he was gone to Saudi Arabia for two months out of every year, with additional occasional one or two week trips to other places (and he did not have a job where he traveled a lot by military standards).

We have handled this different ways, depending on the ages of our kids, the times he was gone, the stuff going on in our lives, and so forth.

There was a long chunk of time when it worked best for me to just plan our week as though he wasn’t going to be there and I was going to be playing single parent. Then if he was able to be there, BONUS! If he wasn’t, I had already figured out what we were going to do about it.

There was also a time when it was best for us to declare Daddy’s Home Day as a spontaneous holiday- we still did schoolish, learning things, but they were more spontaneous- the kids would help him with a household project or repair, we’d take a picnic and go to the zoo or some other ‘field trip.’

There were also many times when we did stuff with Daddy all day if we had him, and then when he left for work at 2:00 or 4:00 (depending on his schedule), we started ‘school.’

I guess if I were to sum up, it really requires a lot of flexibility, and your schedule may need to be your plan C.

Kids and money – Our children earn/receive money in a few ways. Mark and I have set up a few chores that are optional for our children. When we set them up we tell them how much they will get paid for doing them. They are generally big time tasks like refinishing the swing set or cleaning out and washing the cars. Our children will often choose to pair up and split the payment. Our children also receive money from relatives as gifts.

We’ve been very pleased, for the most part, as we watch our children manage their money.

Schedules – I don’t think I’ll be much help on this one. I have a friend, Kimarie, with 9 children who blogs at Cardamom’s Pod whose husband does a lot of long shift work. She may have some useful tips. I’d try using the contact form on her blog to get in touch with her.

I was raised in the PCA (my father was and still is a PCA pastor) and that is where we were members until our move a little more than 4 year ago. When we moved to Knoxville, we joined a church in the CREC (Confederation of Reformed Evangelical Churches). Is that the same as the CRC? So our current membership is in the CREC.

I’ve been hesitatant to post our demoninational affiliation because that can give people ideas or perceptions that simply aren’t accurate.

I just have three questions. One is, do you give your kids any money at all? I haven’t read everything on your blog yet, but am really working on a building a schedule for our family. Our kids are 13, 10, 8 and 4, so we hope to have them doing a bit more around the home, but aren’t sure what we want to do about allowances/paying/etc. We don’t mind giving them money to learn to manage their finances, I’m just not sure how to approach it.

Schedules are also difficult since my husband works shift work and is on call 24/7; one week he might help out with everything–driving, appointments and bedtime etc, but then he might have to suddenly leave for two days. Do you know any other people in this situation that could relate? I don’t have any friends that have a very busy shift-working husband on a pager…

And my thrid question is this: what church denomination do you belong to? I read somewhere on your blog that you are reformed. We are CRC and I was just wondering if you were too.

Thanks!
Sonja

Then I would make a big effort to praise them for how much they help you. When you take a trip to the park (or whatever) mention that you are able to do fun things like that because of their help around the house, etc.

There will certainly be an adjustment period, but I think that it will get better over time.

I will also mention this as a topic idea for the other ladies in the group.

Thanks!

Actually during the warmer months we are pretty sporadic with bedtimes. We do allow the children to listen to stories on CD in bed at night if they are getting up in a timely fashion without us having to wake them.

I think you’ve told me this before, but not ALL your children go to bed at 7pm, right? Are the olders staying up a bit later now? We’re in the same stage with our children where we’re getting to two different bedtimes for olders and youngers – it always changes!

Oh, and give it time. It seems horrible at first, but once every one understands what they are supposed to be doing and become accustomed to doing it things smooth out and speed up.

My schedule is part routine and part schedule. Notice the after this, after that during the mid portion of the day. That is a great compromise for those who will go crazy if they are stuck with a rigid schedule.

I’d love to learn how it goes!!

Thank you.

I recommend MOTH a lot, but often forget how TIGHT of a schedule that she recommends. We don’t follow much of that, but there is so much good information and so many good ideas that I think it is one of the best places too start.

However, you’re right, you have to be confident enough to ditch what doesn’t work. Setting a timer and stopping in the middle of an art project does not work at this house!!!!

My husband is also very UN-scheduled so you’ll notice that once he gets home there is nothing planned besides eating, cleaning up and family worship.

Thanks for reminding me what word I was looking for, routine.

Frankly, MOTH was hard for us to follow. My husband is very UN-scheduled so MOTH just never fit quite right. However, once I realized I was more of a routine person and did well w/ loose routines in place, things went a lot smoother.

However, I am a firm believer that just “flying by the seat of your pants” is not an option…especially since our God is not a God of chaos.

Loved peeking into your day!

Shalom~

Thanks for sharing. It’s nice to get a glimpse into everyone else’s day, and pick up some good ideas!

I would say that our schedule works more like a “do the next thing” flow. It tells us all what the “next thing” is.

I wouldn’t suggest buying an egg timer, but maybe having a “flow of events” planned for the day might be useful for you.

You will probably also get better ideas from the others in our 4 Moms group, we all have different personalities and perspectives on schedules.

The most useful part of our schedule is that the children all know what they need to be doing without me telling them, so we all get a lot more done and I’m not answering the question, “what should I do next?” every 3 1/2 minutes.