Let me know if you have any additional questions after that.

Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts.

If you and your husband decided to homeschool because you thought it would be fun, your friends were doing it or you hoped to provide better academic training for your children, then the rest of this comment is not for you. I’m glad that you tried it out and am sorry it didn’t work for you. I wish your family the best.

However, if you decided to homeschool because you read scripture and believed that it was the best way for you and your husband to obey God’s command to raise your children in the discipline and instruction of the Lord, then I have two things to say.

First, your decision to homeschool was based on Biblical principles and your excuses for stopping have no basis in scripture.

Nowhere in scripture is there a command, encouragement or warning to make sure that we have ‘time for ourselves’. As a matter of fact, scripture exhorts us to the opposite. Time and again we are encouraged and commanded to give up of ourselves and to serve others.

Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves;(do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. (Phil. 2:3-4)

Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. (John 15:13)

I understand where you are coming from. I also prefer to be by myself and struggle with being overwhelmed by the children and my responsibilities. It does not come naturally for me to pour myself into my children. There are some things that we implement in our house to help me achieve some sort of balance. I get up early before the children. I do not eat lunch with the children, when everything is ready and they sit down to eat, I take my food and eat alone. We also have a rest time each afternoon (we’ve done this since we had children) when everyone is to be independent and I have some time to be quiet and rest. I’m not arguing that this is necessary, but it helps my sinful nature cope with what God has called me to do.

Second, your comment speaks directly to the main point of this post. “We must allow our goals and priorities to be governed by God’s Word and by His standard not by man’s definitions of academic success.”

You state in your comment that you were on the verge of a ‘nervous breakdown’ even though you were not mimicking a school in how you teach “science, history, music and art”.

You saw only two choices, 1). You could have a nervous breakdown or 2). You could stop doing what you were convicted by scripture to do. The fact that you didn’t consider the third option is the POINT of this post.

Your third option would have been to use scripture as your standard and re-evaluate all that you were trying to accomplish. The Bible does not command you to teach “science, history, music and art” to your children each year. Not saying it’s bad, just saying that it is MAN’S standard that you have adopted. You had to choose between a mental breakdown, giving up on your conviction to homeschool or giving up man’s academic standard. The point of this post is that we CAN give up man’s academic standard.

So while it is true that not all burnout is caused by choosing man’s standard over God’s, it’s possible that in your case, based on what you conveyed in your comment, it was.

I pray that you hear my heart in this. I am very burdened for you and many others like you who struggle to live up to expectations that are simply NOT Biblical, who feel discouraged and defeated because they do not measure up to a standard that is not God’s.

Blessings to you and your family.

I am a new reader to you as a result of this series on Thursdays. I am a recently-former homeschooler, and I need to respond to one thing. You contend that most homeschool burnout is due to trying to do school at home. While it might be true in SOME cases, it was not in mine. I have 4 girls ages 9 down to 2. We did NOT do school totally like the schools. Much of our science, history, music, art, etc. was learned through literature and reading aloud together. However, I still burned out. Why? Because I am an extreme introvert who needs time to myself, have a husband with a demanding job, and 4 little girls who are not independent enough students to give me the space I need in order to stay mentally healthy, AND keep up on what is required to run a household. I had a near nervous breakdown this winter that forced my hand. The lesson for me? Personality DOES matter; seasons of life DO matter. Will we homeschool again? I would say it’s a high probability, but not until I have all school-aged children and enough real help to ease the burden on my workload so I can maintain a healthy emotional balance. My kids need me as a mom more than they need me as their teacher. And Yes, I know you don’t believe the two roles are separate, but when I gave up on the rest of the day at 2 because I was burnt, they became separate. I probably sound defensive, and I truly don’t mean to. I just want to caution people against saying “if you just get your mindset right, it will all work out.” Because it doesn’t always work out.

One is that Amber (our oldest) has grown into her deeper responsibilities as the year has progressed. She really is capable of self-teaching to a large extent.

Two, we re-evaluated our plans and realized that we had substituted another person’s expectations for our own.

Three, I think that we, as parents, have grown into our role as educators of a teenager. It is a wonderful and beautiful privilege! True they aren’t as cute as toddlers, but they sure are a lot easier. Of course she’s just 13, so I’m not saying we’re experts yet.

Praying for you and your family!

I would ask for your prayers as well, as I work through this series of posts about method and curriculum.

I’m hoping and praying that this series of posts that I am working on will be that “Get Out of Jail Free Pass” for those who need it. I had the same experience and I know if I felt the pressure to conform to man’s standard that others feel it as well.

Thank you again for your encouragement.

I thank you, too, for the scripture you shared. My oldest is 10 and for some reason the Lord has really been leading me in the direction of making Bible study more of a central focus this next school year. I was reading your post and realized that if my kids never know all there is to know about World History but they do know all about the Bible, we’ll be doing alright!! Thanks again for this post, it was like a visit from a good friend and a breath of fresh air to my heart and soul!

Holly