Not Me: Spoiling the Baby

Our whole family is NOT completely goo-goo over our sweet new baby girl.  We are a sensible, productive family so tiny ears, crossed eyes and soft skin are NOT enough to make us all want to just sit around holding and admiring a tiny baby.

Isabella was NOT over a week old before she ever slept outside of someone’s arms.

Whenever Mark or I wish to put Isabella down there is NOT a loud clamor from the children with everyone offering to hold her and reminding us who had the last turn.

The children do NOT remind each other, “She doesn’t like to be laid down” or “She likes to be snuggled up against you” or “She likes to look out the window”.  We do NOT think that there is any possibility that Bella is spoiled, after all she’s the youngest of 10 children, we can’t possibly give her enough attention, there is no worry about her getting too much.

Since I had a c-section and am supposed to be taking it easy, I have NOT lifted and moved the couch in order to vacuum under it, nor done a workout video involving lots of squats.  That would be silly.

While at the dinner table last week, Mark did NOT use a burp cloth instead of a napkin to wipe his face.

I’d love to do a post(s) about parenting, any questions/topics you’d like me to cover?  (Although now that you know how ‘spoiled’ Bella is maybe you’d like to ask someone else. 🙂 )

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29 Responses to Not Me: Spoiling the Baby
  1. Shannon
    July 19, 2010 | 9:11 am

    HA! The part about Mark and the burp cloth made me laugh out loud. I just LOVE the first few weeks of a new baby. Those little crossed eyes ‘fish mouth’ are SO sweet!!

    If you want to do some posts on parenting, I’d love to hear how you deal with selfishness in preschoolers, teaching godly character, etc.

    Oh, and you’d better let someone else do that couch-lifting and vacuuming!!

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  2. Elizabeth M.
    July 19, 2010 | 9:34 am

    I would NOT be doing those very things and my little darling will NOT be four weeks old.

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    Kimberly @ Raising Olives Reply:

    Congrats and enjoy!

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  3. bunny
    July 19, 2010 | 10:03 am

    Bella is not spoiled because her grandmother has not held her for at least a week.

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  4. Deb
    July 19, 2010 | 11:22 am

    I almost yelled at you for lifting, but then I re-read my comment and realized how obnoxious it is for me to chastize a prefectly grown woman who is a total stranger…

    but still – be careful!

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    Kimberly @ Raising Olives Reply:

    I would take your ‘yelling’ I deserve it. I feel wonderful and it’s just hard to not take it easy. I just keep reminding myself that I should ENJOY having other people do the heavy work and being able to just sit and snuggle Bella. It’s going to go by too quickly.

    Thanks!

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  5. Cindy
    July 19, 2010 | 12:37 pm

    My 7th baby is 10 weeks old and I just want to freeze time…he has been sleeping 9 hrs at night and I am feeling a little more human ….congratulations on your sweet bundle…your family is sooo cute and I can soo relate to all the reminders of who held him last…definitely spoiled sweet!

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  6. ali @ an ordinary mom
    July 19, 2010 | 2:25 pm

    Ack! A workout video involving lots of squats?!
    Take it easy and enjoy this time! (Ok, I know you’re enjoying this time, how could you not? but take it easy and enjoy it more! Savor the moments!!)

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  7. Amy W.
    July 19, 2010 | 4:53 pm

    I also laughed out loud over Mark using a burp cloth! The few times that my older son has dealt with a runny nose we have used small washcloths as “hankie’s” to wipe his nose and sometimes if one of the baby’s burp cloths is nearby he’ll just pick that up and use it to wipe his nose instead of coming to us and asking for his hankie…but he is 20 months old 🙂
    I’m not sure if this is the type of parenting question you are looking for, but something I would love to hear about is how you went about family devotions when you only had really little ones (as in under 2 years old). This is something that my husband and I really want to get going in our family, but unfortunately neither of us grew up doing family devotions and we are kind of at a loss of how to do it with little ones who don’t even talk yet (though we have seen a lot of great ideas for doing it with older kids!). We just got finished reading through the Bible in 90 days (just the two of us) and we hope to start daily, family devotions in August. We have tried before, but have gotten discouraged and stopped. We would be open to hearing any advice about how we can do this with our boys who are currently almost 21 months and almost 9 months. What would it look like, what is a good length of time for it to last, what should we expect of our children at their ages, how can we teach them to “behave” (sitting still, or whatever) during this time (I’ve thought about putting the little guy in his bumbo seat and the older one in his booster seat at first so they will know this is a special time where they can’t just get up and play with whatever they want), how can we involve such little ones- our older son does not talk much yet but he loves to sign and picks up on that very easily so I thought that I might think of signs and actions to do with a memory verse that way he could memorize it as well.

    We really want to be faithful in doing this in our family, but it can be overwhelming to think about how to begin and make it a habit. Thank you for any advice you can offer, I really appreciate it!

    Oh, and I decided to see if our local library had a copy of the movie Bella after you mentioned it in your post about naming your Bella- they did have it and my husband and I watched it last week…ok, well I actually fell asleep at some point because that is what ALWAYS happens to me when we watch movies, but I did see *most* of it and my hubby woke me up when it was over and set the last scene to play again for me 🙂 I cried. The gift of life is so beautiful.

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    Kimberly @ Raising Olives Reply:

    A post about family worship with all littles is a great idea! It’s on the list.

    I’m glad that you enjoyed ‘Bella’. We watched it again the first week that our Bella was here and it is just lovely. I think I enjoy it more each time I see it.

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  8. Leslie Blair
    July 19, 2010 | 5:06 pm

    I’m wondering if you and Mark started out your marriage with the conviction that every child is a blessing and to not use contraceptives to alter that? If so, at what number did you ask yourself… “Is this really what we want to do?”
    I’m asking because we also hold to every child being a gift from the Lord, no matter the timing or circumstance and after recently having my second son I couldn’t help but question my conviction and ultimately my faith in the Lord’s provision… not just of funds but of sanity! 😉 Of course it is better now that the 5mo-old sleeps a little more at night, but I still can’t shake the bit of anxiety I have about conceiving again!
    Thanks
    Leslie

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    Kimberly @ Raising Olives Reply:

    Leslie,

    That is a great question. I touch a little on it here in this post about our family. (Scroll down to where I introduce our 4th child, Alyssa.)

    We did begin our marriage with that conviction and we did question it after we had our third child in 2 1/2 years.

    This is a topic that I will post more about. It would probably be good for people to hear that having a large family can be a struggle. Certainly the blessings far outweigh the trials and it gets much easier as the children get older, but even during the morning sickness part of this last pregnancy, Mark and I struggled with thinking about ever doing it again.

    It seems that it takes a constant effort of will to submit this area of our lives to God and to KNOW that His will is best. Again, please don’t misunderstand, I pray that God will bless us with more children, but I also know that it won’t be a walk in the park.

    The blessing comes after the obedience. I wish that you could see the blessing that our older children are to Mark and me. They are so amazing, sweet, thoughtful and helpful. We have been truly blessed!

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  9. valerie
    July 19, 2010 | 6:19 pm

    Beautiful. I love the newness of life. To only experience it a few times leaves me craving more, but God’s plans are good. I am REJOICING with you at the birth of this precious addition. I’m loving reading about it.

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    Kimberly @ Raising Olives Reply:

    Thank you Valerie. Praying that God will bless your family with more children in His way and time.

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  10. Amy
    July 19, 2010 | 6:32 pm

    I am a firm believer that EVERY newborn should be spoiled! They are only that small for DAYS. And then those days are gone. I love her name! Sweetness.

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  11. Jama
    July 19, 2010 | 10:02 pm

    Enjoy, enjoy, enjoy! You know how quickly the newborn days pass. I’m finally an aunt and I can’t wait to get my hands on my new nephew. Oh how I miss snuggling a newborn!

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    Kimberly @ Raising Olives Reply:

    We love you and can’t wait to see you and share our sweet Bella.

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  12. Jacqueline
    July 19, 2010 | 10:21 pm

    Parenting topic – There seems to be constant bickering these days between my two children (10 and 4 year old boys). I’m struggling to stay calm and deal with them in a gracious manner. Half the time one starts it, half the time the other. Does it matter what the current “issue” is? What can I say to diffuse everyone’s anger and restore them?

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    Kimberly @ Raising Olives Reply:

    Hi Jacqueline. You may appreciate this post solving sibling squabbles. That is one of the most challenging parenting issues because you’re usually having to deal with sin in both parties.

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  13. Julie
    July 20, 2010 | 8:15 am

    Parenting Topic: How do you deal with the sleep deprivation with so many? Do you get a nap?

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    Kimberly @ Raising Olives Reply:

    Thanks Julie. I’ve put it on my list. 🙂

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  14. Mandy
    July 21, 2010 | 3:15 pm

    Aw! I’m so glad you are enjoying little Bella! 🙂 Nothing wrong with a little bit of spoiling!! hee hee Congrats!!

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  15. Dawna
    July 21, 2010 | 10:21 pm

    Such a wonderful way to enjoy a “not me Monday”. I love cross eyed babies!

    My “not me’s” have been filled with my two year old’s crazy antics. He is my strong willed child and I love him desperately but he wears me out. I feel lately that I am doing more training than praising when it comes to Uriah and I do not want him to think I don’t love him. HOw do you deal with a child’s strong will? After all, a strong will is not necessarily a bad thing… it all depends on what that will is bent on. Certainly if Uriah grows up to have a strong will that serves the Lord I will be so happy but right now his will is bent on giving his Momma gray hairs. Any advice?

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  16. Christina
    July 22, 2010 | 10:17 am

    I would love to hear more on how you handled having many little ones without big ones! I have 3: 4 years 2 and 6 months right now and we’re open to as many children as God sends. This first 6 months has been a real struggle, but things are improving. I also got hit with postpartum depression, but am on the mend. Thanks for your great blog!

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  17. Kelly
    July 24, 2010 | 12:06 am

    Can I just say that your family is such a mirror of our own! LOL I had to read this post to my husband because it sounded JUST like our family (our littlest is 6 months old). Much love to you and your family. God bless.

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  18. Kelly
    July 24, 2010 | 12:38 am

    How do you discipline?

    [Reply]

    Kimberly @ Raising Olives Reply:

    That is a big question. I’ve posted about some aspects, but there is probably more to say.

    How we Solve Sibling Squabbles
    How we help our children behave in public and expect obedience while remaining calm. There are also some more posts on the topic on the Parenting page.

    If you have more specific questions, please ask. I know it’s something a lot of people wonder about. 🙂

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  19. Lorie
    July 29, 2010 | 10:26 pm

    Do NOT be lifting heavy stuff and doing aerobics. Even if you don’t feel sore you’re causing minor tears in your incision that will create a lot more scar tissue. I know it isn’t easy, but it is necessary. I’ve had 3 c-sections & it’s still hard to be careful especially when you feel good. Please take it easy for a few weeks. You’re very blessed to have children old enough to help with the littles.

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  20. […] After  my previous failure at taking it easy after the c-section and my subsequent promise to Mark and the children to really relax until Bella is at least 4 weeks old, I have not had too much sitting around time on my hands. Sadie (6) gets her turn to hold Bella […]

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