By Whose Standard?

I was recently involved in a conversation where it was argued that I should be less concerned with applying God’s law to my life so that I could more fully appreciate Jesus and His work of redemption. They argued that the Christian life is about love, not law.

Master, which is the great commandment in the law? Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets. ~Mt. 22:36-40

So what exactly is love?

When I begin a post with this:

As Christians our family’s goal is to base all of our decisions and opinions on God’s word. We are not always consistent and are thankful that God still loves us and is able to use us for His glory. We realize that we don’t know everything and are  not always right. We are learning and growing constantly. My purpose here is to try to convey what we believe and a little about why we believe it.

it puzzles me when I get this (and much more privately) in return,

You are not god and cannot speak for him. I find it scary that you might be creating a sort of cult that insists on taking gray areas and claiming them, telling people what god would want for us in terms of schooling! Scary!

I am amazed that as believers we think that we have the authority to know what the Lord’s plan is for every parent, for every child and for every family.

Judge less … get the plank out of your eye!


So the question remains, “What is love?”

Is it loving to remain silent about what God is teaching/has taught us because others may not agree?

Is it loving to encourage others to love God without pointing them to His standard?

Is it loving to remain silent while the American family** is decimated because the solutions might make people realize they may be on the wrong path?

**Unmarried, live-in couples now outnumber married couples in our home state.

Is love what I say it is? what you say it is?

Do we really have to,

“Be holy as I am holy” ?

That’s just so “Old Testament”.

When we begin to sit in judgement over God’s Word and to say that we don’t need to obey or even know or understand everything that He commands but rather we must just love, then we have become the ultimate authority and usurped the authority that belongs to God.

If we reject God’s standard of conduct and simply shout love, we have missed the whole point of the Scriptures for they teach that to love is to obey!

By this we know that we love the children of God, when we love God andkeep his commandments.

For this is the love of God that we keep his commandments and his commandments are not burdensome.

And this is love that we walk according to his commandments.

If you love Me, you will keep My commandments.

He who has My commandments and keeps them is the one who loves Me;

If the standard is “love” and we reject God’s definition of love then it is no longer God’s standard, but our own.

The Christian life is about both love and law, not law keeping for salvation but law keeping because of  love. Obedience is the outworking, the visible manifestation of our love for God.  The two are inseparable.

Part 2: One More Thought About Law

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60 Responses to By Whose Standard?
  1. Pamela
    May 17, 2011 | 9:46 am

    AMEN!! In the Old Testement God’s people had laws that they had to live by and it was because of His LOVE that He gave them. And before anyone says that that is “so Old Testement”. In the New Testement, II Timothy 3:16,17 says “ALL scripture is giving by the inspiration of God and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for instruction and rightiousness. That the man of God may be perfect, throughly firnished into ALL good works.” This means ALL not SOME scripture. Keep up the good work!!!


  2. Cheryl @Treasures from a Shoebox
    May 17, 2011 | 9:52 am

    Anytime God’s Word points to inconsistencies in a person’s life, they will either take stock or react. I am often amazed at how God’s love brings out hatred, even in those professing to be His children.

    I have been accused of being unloving for refusing to embrace homosexuality, not allowing my children to call a live-in boyfriend “Uncle” and for speaking against drugging my nephew. I never knew how “unloving” I am…till I began to share truth from God’s Word.


  3. Megan Volmer
    May 17, 2011 | 10:03 am

    Keep on posting truth!


    Blair Reply:



  4. Nicki
    May 17, 2011 | 10:05 am

    Well said, Kimberly. It is amazing to me how more and more people are falling into that type of thinking, that love is all there is, and the rest doesn’t matter. I’ve been called unloving and legalistic, and so were my parents when I was a child.

    You hit the nail on the head with this statement:

    “When we begin to sit in judgement over God’s Word and to say that we don’t need to obey or even know or understand everything that He commands but rather we must just love, then we have become the ultimate authority and usurped the authority that belongs to God.”


  5. Jennie
    May 17, 2011 | 10:07 am

    Hi, I’m new to your blog but loved your post. Have you read ‘The Grace and Truth paradox’? It’s by Randy Alcorn. It’s a great book on this topic! Thanks for the encouraging word this morning.



  6. Gabe
    May 17, 2011 | 10:22 am

    Well said! Thank you so much for posts, and for being willing to speak the truth in love! Many blessings to you!


  7. Michelle
    May 17, 2011 | 10:28 am

    Thank you for this affirmation. My pastor husband and i just went through quite an ordeal in which we were challenged to stand on the Word of God or lose some of the closest members of our church. It was heartbreaking because we truly do love them-both emotionally and scripturally,but we were put to the test and God gave us the strength to stand firm.

    These members left and we are sad, but He has also given us a peace about our decision after a few months of prayer, tears and sleepless nights of seeking God’s Will.

    Truth and love are not at odds with each other. One without the other really is not love.


  8. Jessica
    May 17, 2011 | 10:33 am

    When I read the first paragrapgh the first thing I thought was:
    “Should we go on sinning that so that grace may abound? May it never be!”
    If we love God we will obey His commandments, we will strive to be conformed to the image of Christ, and we will teach our children His ways. How can we claim to love God if we aren’t willing to be obedient?
    Love this post – thanks!


  9. Kimberley Carpenter
    May 17, 2011 | 10:58 am

    Love this post! It reminds me of words spoken at a Leeland concert I was at last fall. “Obedience is the highest form of worship.” That spoke to me so powerfully, as does your blog. Thank you for speaking truth and furthering the Kingdom!


  10. Courtney C
    May 17, 2011 | 11:33 am

    I think that the world is SO offended by someone who aspires to love God fully and obediently.
    Today’s world tells us to be unique and our own self. That should be an open door for a believer. We are called to be different. Not to conform at all to the world.
    Everything in moderation right? Well why is okay to be a following Christian in moderation, but yet people eat themselves to death, be an out loud and proud homosexual, indulge in self serving activities and me time. Nobody goes around telling those people that they love something too much. When in reality for Christians, the only thing you can’t love too much is God.
    I think Grace represents Love and a lot of people lean on that love to justify their imperfections, but Grace is useless without truth and the same in reverse. It is through the word and the truth that we come to seek his Grace. If you don’t know the truth and apply it to your daily life then you don’t need grace. If you apply the truth until you’re blue in the face, but have not grace you are wasting your efforts.
    Do the people criticizing you not read Proverbs. Teaching your children to seek wisdom, to claim the word of God so that they may hold the power in his words and truth is JUST the way to be! Don’t ever water down the word. Bathe in it. In turn the word and live of Jesus Christ will teach them Grace and Love. They will know fully how much they need and love him and how to extend that to others.
    People want to change what the Bible says to fit their lifestyle and their own guilty comfort level, but the Bible is clear about NOT doing that. Read it, take it or leave it, but DO NOT change it to fit your own sinful human ways.
    I admire you and see you as ANYTHING BUT a false prophet or someone who is possibly leading people astray or pushing them away with impossible standards. You didn’t write the Bible or the standards. You are simply trying to live by them and teach that to your children as the Bible calls you to do. You love the Truth and thankfully by Grace/Love you don’t have to worry if you don’t get it right 100% of the time.


  11. Diana
    May 17, 2011 | 11:45 am

    Well said!! 🙂


  12. Valerie
    May 17, 2011 | 11:49 am

    Kim I loved this. It is sometimes what wavers in me, but something that I always know is truth. EVERY TIME I read His word, it speaks the truth that you have highlighted in this post. It’s so hard to balance, but He has shown us how!! When we read His word and walk in the spirit, He shows us how to look upon him for salvation, to lean not on our works but upon the mercy of the cross, and at the SAME time he gives passion for His word and His truth and His LAW! Such a great reminder Kim!


  13. Andee
    May 17, 2011 | 11:58 am


    I have been reading your blog for about a year and I am not one to comment, but I just wanted to let you know that you have really encouraged me with your words. Your posts have challenged me to be a better Christian in every aspect of my life and to enjoy my role as a wife and mother. I know that so many of your readers never comment but are quietly encouraged in their day-to-day lives. I hope that mean spirited comments do not discourage you. Thank you so much for putting yourself out there (open to criticism) in order to spread Christian love and encouragement.



  14. Penny
    May 17, 2011 | 12:05 pm

    Amen!! I am always so aghast when people preach love but not obedience like the two don’t go hand in hand. Great post!


  15. I Live in an Antbed
    May 17, 2011 | 12:15 pm

    When Truth is “sacrificed” on the altar of Love, you don’t get either! Truth spoken in Love for the purpose of edification and restoration is the balance we have to allow Him to show us. We will not always be able to “make people happy,” but we have to fear only Him, not man. Thank you for striking that balance here! Do not worry about attacks. It only means you are hitting the “mark.”


  16. Bonnie
    May 17, 2011 | 12:20 pm

    Isaiah 5:20-21, comes to mind–Woe to those who call evil good, and good evil; Who put darkness for light, and light for darkness; Who put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter! Woe to [those who are] wise in their own eyes, And prudent in their own sight!
    Kimberly, your testimony is of great encouragement to those of us that wish to follow Christ by using the WHOLE COUNCEL of God’s Word to light our path…please keep up the good work and don’t get tired of doing what is right and good…you surely will reap a great harvest!!!!!!!!!!


  17. Christie
    May 17, 2011 | 12:40 pm

    The Bible teaches us that we CAN know God, and are supposed to know Him. (I don’t have my Bible in front of me, so can’t give you chapter and verse.) You are not trying to *be* God, you are trying to be *like* Him, which the Bible says we should do. That’s a HUGE difference. Quoting Bible and Biblical principles does not mean you are trying to “judge” others or “tell them what to do”; actually it’s God (through His Word) telling them what to do! Good points!!


  18. Sarah
    May 17, 2011 | 12:44 pm

    Thank you so much for posting this! It was definitely providential for my husband and I. We are facing this exact problem both in our local church family as well as our biological family, my husband’s coworkers, and friends. We’ve been called many things by many different people. Constantly being told that we are being “too serious”, “literal”, and that we should simply be “forbearing” with others. While we are trying in every way we possible can to be ever prayerful and loving to those around us, we are finding that even when we say nothing we are accused by our silence. And yet how can we ignore the Word of God, or the conviction from the Holy Spirit in our own consciences? We aren’t judging others by simply stating from the Word of God what He has already judged. And we are struggling to be faithful without falling into legalism, and are grieved to see those around us in ignorance and desire more than anything to share with them the freedom we have found in submitting to God’s Word in every way. We fail continuously, but are endeavoring, by God’s grace, to grow. I am very grateful for the encouragement your blog and your family have been to us. God has and is using your steadfast love of His truth being lived out in your lives to edify us in His Word. I thank God for you all and pray that He strengthen and embolden you to persevere for the sake of the truth and for His glory. Love in Christ, dear sister and fellow soldier for the truth!


  19. Celee
    May 17, 2011 | 12:46 pm

    People always misdefine legalism as strictly applying God’s law. That’s just obedience, legalism is making up laws that aren’t in Scripture. While there will always be some differences in interpretation, you’ve always been very gracious about that. The truth is, most of the Bible is extremely straight forward and black and white, not gray.

    God demands obedience and without holiness no one will see the Lord. Of course, it’s only by His grace and regenerative work in us and continued work in us through His spirit that we CAN obey. So He gets all the credit. You’ve also been very careful to point this out, never taking credit for yourself.

    Why would God redeem a people to look just like the rest of the world? He has set us apart and made us different. I’m so tired of a church that looks just like the world. We’re entrenched in it here in America. Families like you are making a difference. You’re showing the world what a Christian family looks like. Keep it up!



  20. Laura Hostetler
    May 17, 2011 | 12:55 pm

    You are very correct. People resist the Bible because it is a mirror that shows just what we truly are. Which ironically makes the love of God aspect all the more amazing. I am so thankful that God loves me inspite of me. I am even more thankful that he loves me enough to not leave me in my natural state. He is gracious enough to not pummel me with all my faults at once, but patiently works on me bit by bit. I find it encouraging to see God working in others lives not threating. Keep up the ggod work!


  21. Kimarie
    May 17, 2011 | 12:59 pm

    Thoughtful, LOVING post! 🙂


  22. Katie
    May 17, 2011 | 1:13 pm

    Very well put. I love your site, but don’t feel “judged” by you sharing your life. What you write inspires me. And I can always use a little inspiration 😉


  23. Tina
    May 17, 2011 | 1:23 pm

    Amen!! One thing that I always think is funny is how people try to use the “love God, love others” as a way to avoid the law. Yet its a summary of the LAW! *giggles* People need to stop worrying about what the world says and offending others. We need to concern ourselves with what God says and offending Him! Yes and don’t get me started on the one comment about “judging others” . To be clear Jesus didn’t say don’t judge, He just said not to judge hypercritically.


  24. Jill Connelly
    May 17, 2011 | 1:41 pm

    Great post!


  25. Tawnja
    May 17, 2011 | 1:52 pm

    Thank you, Kimberly. That was well said.


  26. Jennifer
    May 17, 2011 | 2:05 pm

    Great post! Very true, and timely as well. Always enjoy reading your blogs, and hope you keep on “speaking the truth in love!” 🙂


  27. Jill Ferrell
    May 17, 2011 | 2:40 pm

    Well said!


  28. Lisa Maria
    May 17, 2011 | 3:54 pm

    Amen! I couldn’t have said it any better. Kimberly.. you just keep on being faithful to God and speaking out the Truth, defending your faith. The world will not love you for it but your Eternal Father will!


  29. Emily
    May 17, 2011 | 4:24 pm

    Nicely said!


  30. Brittany
    May 17, 2011 | 5:00 pm

    Rock on, Olives!


  31. Lecia
    May 17, 2011 | 6:34 pm

    VERY well said!!


  32. Ganeida
    May 17, 2011 | 6:42 pm

    I Corintians:13 = God’s definition of love. Christ, whom we say we follow, came to fulfill the law ~ thus, if we are following as we ought we too will take heed to the law because it is how we show we love Him. I am starting to suspect may *Christians* don’t actually know what God’s word says.


  33. Christin @ Joyful Mothering
    May 17, 2011 | 8:12 pm

    Amen, amen, AMEN!! I couldn’t have said it better. Awesome and true. 🙂


  34. abba12
    May 17, 2011 | 8:14 pm

    Ultimately we have to make a decision. Either we say God wants us to homeschool/public school/whatever, or we say ‘God dosen’t care how we educate our children’. That’s the mindset many seem to have. But that thought scares me more than any cult… God dosen’t care how we raise our children? That means God dosen’t care about how our children live most of their lives. So does God only care about how Adults live their lives? At what age does God begin to care? Oh except for point A,B and C, God cares about those bits even in children. It dosen’t work. He cares about it all or he cares about nothing. Our God is big enough to care about it all.

    I am so tired of this doctrine of grace. God is unendingly gracious, God is love, I have never denied that. But God ALSO has a law. Parents love their children, but they have a law for their children, not to supress them, but because they love them and want them to grow into good, Godly adults. Parents forgive their children when they break the ‘law’ of the house, but it dosen’t mean it dosen’t upset the parents, it dosen’t mean there isn’t punishment for breaking that ‘law’.

    I wonder how these people would feel if someone told their children ‘you need to worry less about your mum and dads rules and focus more on just loving them’. How do you even love your parents, as a child, without concern for their rules?


  35. shelby
    May 17, 2011 | 8:42 pm

    Thank you for not being afraid or intimidated by those who disagree from The Truth! You will be blessed!


  36. Cindy Lau
    May 17, 2011 | 9:59 pm

    Amen! Recently two of my adult children said that I was “judging” them and the Bible says not to judge. I told them I was not judging, just speaking the truth. So many today think Christianity is like a trip to a fast food restuarant. Just pick and choose what you want and everything will be fine. So sad. Thank you for speaking the truth.


  37. Linda
    May 17, 2011 | 11:02 pm

    Thank you so much for writing this! I have been in a difficult situation for some time. Trying to show a Biblical love can get confusing because of this world’s twisted thinking. Also, thank you to the others who left comments. There were several things in there that were a encouragement to me.



  38. Homesweetgrown
    May 17, 2011 | 11:05 pm

    I have been lurking around on your site for well over a year. My husband, family, and myself have been greatly blessed by what you share here on Raising Olives.

    I wholeheartedly agree that it is more loving to share the convictions which the Lord has brought to you through scripture, than it is to never speak up. Unfortunately, many people will say you are being legalistic. I have found many times that when people start throwing around those sorts of accusations that you have received, that the person doing the accusing is actually dealing with conviction, but refusing to bend their knee to the Lord, and therefore lash out on those who they see as the source of the uncomfortable feelings they experience.

    Again, my family has been blessed and edified through your ministry of this blog. Please keep sharing your lives with us and all of your readers who feel the same.


  39. Christy
    May 18, 2011 | 2:29 am

    AMEN!! Be encouraged to continue living and speaking the Truth.


  40. Michelle Brooks
    May 18, 2011 | 2:43 am

    I completely agree with you, because the culture has been so decimated even many of our churches settle for the no effort grace covers all just love avenue, even though our salvation is set by one action of believing we are still accountable for our every action and thought and lack there of! Our life and blessings are directly determined by our obedience or disobedience. It is a sad day when the church is ignorant to the truth we base our beliefs on. Praise God for His mercies and patience.


  41. Annie
    May 18, 2011 | 6:59 am

    Amen! That pretty much sums it up!


  42. Mrs. Random
    May 18, 2011 | 8:00 am

    For every negative comment you receive, know that there are many, many more who DO agree with you. Sadly, and I’m guilty of this too, those that agree don’t always take the time to leave a comment.


  43. Susa
    May 18, 2011 | 8:36 am

    All I can say is Amen. I commend you for speaking the truth. That is what is worng in our society including the Christian community. There is no truth and everyone wants to walk in the gray area.
    Thank you for standing up and speking truth.


  44. Melissa
    May 18, 2011 | 8:56 am

    I appreciate your blog! I am often inspired by the ideas and tips you share about raising your kids to love the truth…It is our goal as well.
    Be encouraged! Thank you for being faithful to share the truth! The bible is the standard not our feelings, I am so thankful that, that is true and it is unchanging! Keep up the good work!


  45. Laura
    May 18, 2011 | 1:36 pm

    I could write a host of things, but I think AMEN sums it up pretty well! 🙂

    Thank you for blogging what the Lord is teaching you and your family… and for loving people enough to speak the truth.


  46. Brit
    May 18, 2011 | 1:58 pm

    I understand/agree with what you are saying, but I think it depends on the situation.

    I think that love comes before law for a reason. We need to love others and lead them to God, then as a result they will want to follow God’s law.

    When I see some people in my church just start off (to people that are not yet saved) and discuss all the “rules” is not really showing love I don’t think. I don’t look at it as “rules” I look at it as a direct result of God’s love. I focus on living daily for him, studying His word and making every decision for Him. Others will see that I’m following his commandments through my actions, I don’t need to tell them or focus my energy arguing about them.

    On the other hand, if you have a close relationship with some (ie an accountability group, Sunday school class, sibling) and you notice something in their life that clearly doesn’t match up to the Bible then it is time to voice those.

    I think the key is listening to what God wants you to do in a specific situation.


    Brit Reply:

    That might sounds confusing. Here’s an example. I’ve been asked several times why I don’t drink. I never answer “because God tells me not to.” I respond by saying “because I love God and I want to live up to His highest standard. Why would I want to do anything to compromise that relationship?”


  47. Jamie (@va_grown)
    May 18, 2011 | 4:58 pm

    What a great post…I may come back to comment later…there’s so much here I want to chew on for a while…


  48. Marilyn Brauer
    May 18, 2011 | 6:04 pm

    Rock on! You go girl!


  49. Chiree
    May 19, 2011 | 1:05 am

    I agree that our public school system is not an option, at least up to the age of 12 or so. My kids are still very young, but at some point, I’m wondering if public school might be a possibility. (To be honest, I don’t like the thought.) My wonderings are along these lines:
    1. Will they fall flat if the first challenge to their faith comes after they leave home? No, I hope He is faithful to complete the good work He begins in us. Nothing can separate us from His love.
    2. Given that children are born with sin in their hearts, for how long is it effective to continue to isolate them from the sin in the world? I think the goal is to train them so that they can go out into the world some day with the good news of Jesus. At what point will they be ready to recognize the ways in which the public school teachings do not line up with God’s truth? Will my sons be ready to fight for the truth sometime during their teen years? Will my daughter be ready to love the broken-hearted the way Jesus loves them? In other words, is the public school a valid mission field for teenagers? And is it right to withhold our older children who can bring light to the public schools?
    3. Is it better to train children to respond to the world (separating themselves from sin but loving sinners as Jesus does) while they’re still living at home and receiving our instruction? And could a year or two (or a semester) of high school help a parent to accomplish that goal?
    Despite all my questions, I hope I have the privilege of homeschooling all my kids right up to graduation. It is a joy.

    Homeschooling mom of 3


    Kimberly @ Raising Olives Reply:

    Hi Chiree,

    You’re making some assumptions about how we are raising our kids that I believe are incorrect.

    1. Our kids are exposed to challenges to their faith nearly everyday. Evolution, foul language, provocative advertising and a systemic rejection of God’s law are all around us all the time. We talk about these and many other issues and discuss how the Word of God applies.
    2. We could not isolate them from sin in the world even if we wanted to, and we don’t want to. They are exposed to sin in our family, in our church and in our community. They also watch as Christians deal with sin and are taught how they are to handle sin.
    3. Yes, it’s better to teach them to respond to sin in the world while they’re living at home, it’s what we are actively doing that every single day as we home educate. We don’t believe that they must be enrolled in the public school system to accomplish this.

    May the Lord bless as you raise your children for His glory.


  50. Laura
    May 19, 2011 | 7:47 am

    Thank you SO much for this post! I have also struggled with other’s comments about the Christian life being all about love, more of a social gospel type of thing, and leave the law out of it! You are right on. Keep speaking the truth! 🙂

    In Christ, Laura (mom to 7 blessings)


  51. Stephanie
    May 19, 2011 | 10:53 am

    I think you do speak the Truth in love 🙂


  52. Marisa I.
    May 19, 2011 | 1:15 pm

    I’m grateful and happy that you’ve taken the time to help other families who desire to live an unconventional lifestyle. As a young married woman 2 months pregnant with #1, you’ve helped me to envision how this lifestyle would work for us! Thank you!

    Your tone has never been pharasaical. You’ve never bad-mouthed people who choose “the norm”, to have just 2 kids and send them to public school. Instead you’ve explained why you’ve chosen something different than the norm. This of course requires comparing the lifestyles and making judgments, but not the pharasaical kind. People are messing up normal, necessary judging (to which Jesus calls us all to do) with pharasaical judging (which He condemned).

    This is the kind of thing that can take root in your heart and cause bitterness against those who say such crazy things. I have to be careful of that too. I think the best weapon we have is prayer! For them and for our own hearts.


  53. maha
    May 20, 2011 | 8:41 am

    I am a muslim (I hope you dont freak out)what we are tought is that We love God by obeying His Commands
    but we are constantly being ridiculed and labelled as retarded terrorists who hate every non-muslim on earth and want to kill them
    So thank you for showing a nicer face of christianity to me


  54. Lisa
    May 20, 2011 | 11:56 am

    Thank you for speaking the Truth in love. I am always blessed, encouraged and challenged by your posts.


  55. Tami Lewis
    May 20, 2011 | 3:22 pm

    excellent post and i agree with all you have written. now and before. i get it too so i know the feelings you are having. i’m sorry you are going thru this.


  56. Taryn
    May 30, 2011 | 12:03 pm

    In response to some comments 1) I put 3 of our 6 children in the government high school and from our experience,even though they never had drug problems(our high schools have heroin,etc. problems),etc. I regret doing it. I have home educated our youngest son through high school. I didn’t want our children to get GEDs but if that is what our son(he took the Seton test every year) decides to do then I have a peace about it. Our oldest son went to a Christian high school. 2)Matthew 7 KJ is telling us not to judge-hypocritically. Our country has a judicial system. 3)We have unleavened bread(crackers) and unfermented wine(grape juice) when our Baptist church has “communion”(the Lord’s Supper). I give people the Christian Light tract called, “Sipping Saints” and explain that the Pilgrims gave their children beer(low/no alcohol)-it was a water purification system. 4) Please let us not use the word “retarded”. I have a daughter with autism/mental retardation-high functioning. PTL.


  57. Kristen
    May 30, 2011 | 7:29 pm

    Very well said Kimberly. Without the law, we have no knowledge of sin and therefore cannot even appreciate God’s grace.


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