As I hit send, I fully expected to get ”you’ve got to be kidding me, we can’t get you approved in time” or “Whoops, you weren’t supposed to get that email”.
Instead we received a list of things we needed to do and Mark and I rolled up our sleeves.
That day we completed our application, turned in reference letters, had background checks done and started our training.
That evening we welcomed 6 of our nieces and nephews into our home for the weekend.
On Friday we reveled in the blessing of having 17 children under our roof and worked on getting our home child-proof for kids who wouldn’t know any of our house rules. We also continued training.
By Friday night we had a placement date (Tuesday) and were working on a time to complete the home study requirements.
After all of closed doors and the Lord saying ‘no’ or perhaps ‘not yet’, we were overwhelmed with how quickly we would be getting these children. We requested more information about their situation.
We would be hosting siblings, a 4 year old boy and 3 year old girl for about a month.
Our hearts broke for the children and their mother. We prayed.
On Saturday morning we sent out an email to some of the folks in our Christian ‘family’ here in Knoxville asking if anyone had extra toddler beds that we could use (we needed two). In about half an hour we had two toddler beds with mattresses and bedding, plus multiple offers of clothing, car seats and other toddler items. It’s amazing to be part of the family of God.
That rainy Saturday afternoon we hosted a cook-out with two other couples and our combined 28 children and got the home study/home inspection scheduled for Monday afternoon.
On Monday the doubts really set in.
Why do I think I can do this? I’m impatient with my own kids. I’m already behind on laundry.
I am not that person who loves unconditionally. I have friends who are like that. I’m amazed by their patience and compassion and wish I could be like them, but that’s not me. I’m the one who is self-centered and lazy.
These children will be losing nearly everything. Their family, community, home, possessions, how can we possibly even begin to fill that gap.
I’m already completely exhausted at the end of every day, where am I going to find more?
I prayed, but fear gripped me. I’m just not that person.
There is NO WAY I can do this!
To be continued….