I know it’s been quiet here, but I’m working on finishing my story of Our Unexpected Journey, look for the next installment tomorrow! (See now I’m accountable to all of you to get it finished up.)
Be sure to visit the other moms of many as we talk about tattling:
We deal with tattling as a heart issue.
For example, “Mom, Bella (2) is heading toward the road.” should be dealt with differently than, “Mom, Savannah (8) put HER school books on MY part of the table.”
Our goal is for our children to deal with others with a heart attitude of a servant. We desire that they learn to think of and treat others as more important than themselves.
Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. ~ Philippians 2:3-4
To this end, we require that our children follow the principles that our Lord Jesus laid out for Christians to settle disputes in Matthew 18
If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.
As our children have gotten older, we’ve seen that we have started encouraging our teens to even more independence when it comes to handling disputes.
Just yesterday a group of 6 or 7 of our children was working on a big project in our yard. The oldest child on the task had a plan (a very good plan I might add), but was being thwarted at every turn by the next oldest child on the task. Our advice to “oldest” child was, “be a servant, be a servant, be a servant”. That required “oldest” child to work harder (rather than smarter) than would have been required had the project gone according to that child’s plan, but the truth is being a servant is rarely the ‘easy’ path and one day our children may have bosses who don’t choose the way to accomplish something that our child thinks is ‘best’.
(We did go back after the project was completed and speak with the next oldest child who was making things difficult, because after all we are responsible for training both of those kids.)
You may also be interested in:
- Solving Sibling Squabbles
- Tattling vs. Sharing Useful Information
- Building Strong Sibling Relationships
- Bossy Older Siblings
Visit the other moms of many to see what they have to say:
And because he’s changing so quickly, here is a picture of Valor (9 months) trying out solid food for the first time.