The Lord gives and The Lord takes away, blessed be the name of The Lord.
We found out Friday that our twelfth child, no longer had a beating heart. We rejoice that he/she is now in the presence of God, how amazingly blessed we truly are. Although we are sad for ourselves, we rejoice in His love, mercy and goodness in granting us 11 weeks with this precious life.
But this I recall to my mind,
Therefore I have hope.
The Lord’s lovingkindnesses indeed never cease,
For His compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
Great is Your faithfulness. ~Lamentations 3:21-23
We are grieving, but there is joy in the midst of our grief. Dancing and mourning intermingled. It feels a bit schizophrenic actually.
This pregnancy I had strong aversions and cravings.
I had a huge aversion to bacon. The smell of bacon, the taste of bacon, even thinking about bacon made me nauseous. Also, I did not want anything sweet, not even my all time favorite the chocolate chip peppermint milkshake from Chick-fil-A. This was a bit of a tragedy as this is the only time of year it is offered and I knew I was missing out on some serious awesomeness!
On the other hand I craved peanut ginger sauce constantly. I’m not actually sure that I’d ever had peanut ginger sauce before this pregnancy, but it was the only thing that sounded good and I wanted it constantly. Nearly every breakfast was a chicken breast smothered in peanut ginger sauce. I dipped carrot sticks in peanut ginger sauce and the only reason I didn’t smother my eggs in peanut ginger sauce was because my kids said that was just way too strange.
I wanted to thank you for all of your prayers, words of encouragement, Facebook notes, and encouraging stories. I’m amazed at how helpful and encouraging it is when the body of Christ bears each other’s burdens. There is a lightening of the load, an encouragement, and an amazing joy and peace in seeing the goodness of God work itself out through His body here on earth.
We’ve spent the past several days enjoying our children and spending lots of time together celebrating, making
gingerbread graham cracker houses, reading Christmas books, singing songs, snuggling and watching “The Grinch that Stole Christmas”.
In some ways, I see such beauty in this whole process. I’m glad that this pregnancy is not just over, but that there is a time of physical and emotional cleansing and healing.
I want that. I need that.
God is good and I’m thankful for loving friends, healing tears, sweet children (every time I start to cry Nick says, “Awww, mommy needs some snuggles.”) and God’s grace.
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. ~Jeremiah 29:11
You may also be interested in: