Reasons We Have a Large Family

In no particular order:

1. When God said, “Behold, children are a gift of the Lord…Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them (Psalm 127)”, we believe He meant it.

2. World domination.

3. We know what causes it.

4. Over the last several thousand years, children have outperformed both the stock market AND gold in ROI.

5. We believe that God’s plan is better than ours.

6. People think that we are patient “super parents.” (insert maniacal laughter)

7. We want to leave a lasting legacy.

8. Our kids are cute!

9. We don’t want to have all of our “investments” in the stock market.

10. In a world that views children as an inconvenience or punishment (Obama said he wouldn’t want his daughters “punished with a baby”) we think someone should stand up and say, we welcome children and believe that they are precious and valuable.

Edited to add:  I’ve had some commenters call into question whether or not Obama said this, suggest that I am misrepresenting his meaning or not including the whole context.   So I decided to include his whole quote,

Look, I’ve got two daughters, 9 year old, um, 9 years old and 6 years old. I’m gonna teach them first about values and morals, but if they make a mistake I don’t want them punished with a baby .

and a link so you can watch and hear him say it with even more context.

11. We love late night snuggles, running two year olds, laughing at the table, crayon drawings, and silly songs.

12. Division of labor.

13. We still get to play on the playground.

You may be interested in “Can We Trust God? Our Journey to Many Children“.

You may read more about how much fun we have with our large family by visiting the Raising Olives homepage.

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214 Responses to Reasons We Have a Large Family
  1. Anita
    March 14, 2009 | 4:11 pm

    Amen and amen!! You could also add that you are doing your part to support Social Security in the future!! No children means that no one is paying into social security in the future. Of course, we no that our security is not in any government entity!!

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  2. Nikki
    March 14, 2009 | 4:33 pm

    I love it! And I agree with every single one. And seriously did Obama say that? That’s awful. How about teaching them abstinence before marriage instead of acting like it’s something done to them?

    Anyways, I especially like #6. It’s funny what people think just because I have more than 2 kids.

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  3. MomStarr
    March 14, 2009 | 5:54 pm

    Hear!! Hear!! My hubby and I totally agree but then again I guess that is what makes our two families friends!! And what’s wrong with knowing what causes it…ok I won’t go there. We all just LOVE being married and having a house full of kids!! Poor Obama and Poor Mrs. Obama…poor poor poor pitiful shallow creatures. We all know that one day even they will BOW AT THE KING’S FEET! whether they want to or not!! Lori

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  4. Anita
    March 14, 2009 | 8:35 pm

    You are welcome to use my comment. The VF affliate email arrived either on Tues or Wed.
    One of my friends just called a little while ago and mentioned how much she was enjoying your blog. Your laundry posts have been quite freeing for her!!

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  5. Clair
    March 16, 2009 | 3:11 pm

    I love those reasons! Love number 2 (and when the house is messy number 12 always comse into play in our house)

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  6. Laurel
    March 17, 2009 | 8:34 am

    Just found your blog and look forward to reading more.

    We had 10 bio. children, and thought we were “done”. But, last spring we brought home 3 siblings from Ghana.

    We are also a Jesus loving, homeschooling, family.

    Laurel
    mama of 13

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  7. Joy
    March 19, 2009 | 11:57 pm

    Found you through From The Trenches of Motherhood. I adore your family and love that you have a large family! We’re “cooking” baby #3 right now and we planned on having 7 children before we got married. Now we don’t really have a set number. Whatever God gives us we will gladly help raise for Him! Beautiful family you have!

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  8. amy
    April 4, 2009 | 9:37 pm

    Obama did not claim children for your beautiful, stable family would be a punishment.

    [Reply]

    Kimberly Reply:

    Amy you are right. He wasn’t saying that wanted children in stable families are a punishment, but he did say that children are a punishment if the parent/mother decides that they have “more important” plans for their life. Hence the abortion mentality in our culture. We believe that each and every child created by God, either born or unborn, is a special and precious blessing and that by opening our arms to as many as God will give us we are helping to fight that culture of death.

    Thank you for voicing your opinion in such a gracious manner!

    Blessings,
    Kimberly

    [Reply]

  9. Laura Sherman
    April 7, 2009 | 1:24 am

    How I’m looking forward to reading more of your blogs, thanks for visiting mine a few days back.
    I found another few thoughts posted later on http://www.Titus2.com at Mom’s Corner, that were very motivating for me! Thanks for your encouraging site too, & again, I’m looking forward to reading more & getting to know the Olives- Laura

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  10. Suzannah
    April 21, 2009 | 11:09 am

    Whether or not President Obama actually said that, a better response would be to pray for him and his family, as we all should be doing for him and our country anyway, rather than calling him and his family “poor poor poor pitiful shallow creatures.”

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    Kimberly Reply:

    Suzannah,
    If you doubt that President Obama said that, you may watch and listen to him actually saying it on YouTube, or simply Google those word’s in quotes for more discussion about his statement.

    My response is to pray for him, his family and our country, to welcome onto the earth ALL the children that God creates AND to fight for the lives of the innocent. I didn’t call him a poor, pitiful, shallow creature, although I do pity him because he is a man who is bringing judgment on himself and on our nation through his policies on abortion.

    Blessings,
    Kimberly

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  11. amanda
    April 29, 2009 | 6:46 pm

    LOVE IT!! i use these same reasons and we only have four kiddos!

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  12. angelia
    May 5, 2009 | 3:46 am

    hi kimberly, i had to come and get my love and grace “fix” for the day! i would love to be neighbors with you-so much i would learn from you. i hope you have a wonderful day! much love and many blessings, angelia

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  13. meclarks
    August 11, 2009 | 3:43 pm

    I recently had an old friend tell me how refreshing it was to hear me praising and loving on my husband and children… it’s just my way of praising God for all the blessings He has given me! I love seeing your love and praise for your family too! Thank you!!!

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  14. logic
    August 16, 2009 | 6:52 pm

    I like your idea but Presidnet Obama did not say that children were a punishment. The context of the statement had to do with his daughter being unmarried, young, and impregnated by a rapist and whether or not she had the choice to terminate a hypothetical pregnancy in those circumstances. If one of your adolescent girls is ever raped and impregnated, you may have to face that scenario.

    [Reply]

    Raising Olives Reply:

    Logic,
    First of all you have your facts wrong. Here is Obama’s full quote, “Look, I’ve got two daughters, 9 year old, um, 9 years old and 6 years old. I’m gonna teach them first about values and morals, but if they make a mistake I don’t want them punished with a baby .” He does not say anything about rape. The context is abstinence education and STD’s, no rape. I suggest that you listen and watch him say it before you misrepresent the facts.

    Second, if one of my young girls were raped and impregnated, that baby would be welcome in our home, what an amazing blessing to receive the gift of a child in the midst of a horrible, nearly unimaginable time. I do not condone murder even in difficult circumstances and am appalled that some people do.

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    karen Reply:

    Amen Kimberly,
    I heard that speach Obabama gave and got chills! Yes, we need to pray for his family! Karen

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  15. cheryl yost
    August 18, 2009 | 9:33 pm

    Well, today is my first time visiting your blog and I am enjoying it! I am a bit jealous of you families with a lot of kids. I have two beautiful kids, I only homeschooled for 1 year (just didn’t work well for our family in a 730sqft house) but now we pay a good deal of money to our church’s private school and I love it! I often wonder if we will give homeschooling a try once again in the future?

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  16. Mama Bird
    August 18, 2009 | 11:25 pm

    Applauding you as a mother and courageous truth-teller!

    [Reply]

    Raising Olives Reply:

    Mama Bird,

    Thanks for your kind encouragement.

    [Reply]

  17. Sherry
    August 27, 2009 | 3:16 pm

    I am new to reading your blog but have really enjoyed it so far. Thanks for sharing positive things about large families. I am a mother to six wonderful kids!

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  18. Laura
    August 27, 2009 | 11:29 pm

    I love this! We stopped at three children and now that we are through having children, my husband and I wish we could have more. It is unfortunate that our culture is more obsessed with being financially successful than they are with creating heritage and true meaning in life. God bless!

    [Reply]

    morgan Reply:

    I don’t think our country is obsessed with being financially successful at all! There are big families, such as the Olives, who can afford their kids. But a lot of lower income families have tons of kids without a worry as to whose gonna pay for them! Let me tell you, it’s us. We get stuck with the bill!
    Enjoy your three! Someday you’ll have grandkids to fufill your wish of more kids.

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  19. axe
    August 30, 2009 | 7:15 am

    I like your site but you’re killing me with that Obama line. He’s saying girls shouldn’t be forced to have babies when they don’t want to, not because babies = bad, but because babies raised by mothers who don’t want them = bad. Abortion is a no-win debate. Abortion is gross. But babies raised by mothers who don’t want them is also gross. The only solution to the no-win question is prevention. Prevention (whatever the form) of unwanted pregnancy is better than the trouble that comes after.

    [Reply]

    Raising Olives Reply:

    Axe,
    Thanks for taking the time to leave a comment and I’m glad that you like my site. Sorry for the torture that I’m putting you through with this Obama line. 🙂

    I think that your comment actually makes my point. I’m not saying that any one would say that baby = bad and I’m also not arguing that Obama would say or believes that all children are a punishment. I am saying that the basic attitude toward children in our country is that, while they are nice and cute they are a huge inconvenience.

    Most people think that a baby is a blessing if:

        1. The parents aren’t newly weds, because they want some time to get to know each other and get settled before they have to deal with a baby.
        2. It is the mothers first or second child. (Possibly third if the first two children are the same gender.)
        3. The parents have “good” jobs, a nice home, nice cars and any other material things that are considered important.
        4. The parents are finished with all of the schooling that they want.
        5. The baby won’t “mess up” any travel or career plans.
        Etc. etc. etc.

    My point with Obama’s line is that he believes, in certain situations, exactly what he says above, that babies can be a punishment. Our family’s view is that while babies can certainly be conceived by sinful actions, they are a testimony to God’s grace and mercy and are a blessing from Him.

    One other point that I would like to make. You mentioned that babies being raised by mothers who don’t want them is “gross”. Obama’s (and many other people’s) “solution” to this is to kill the child. (Another a demonstration that children are not highly valued.) I would suggest that there is a more humane solution, one that illustrates that we view children as priceless gifts: Adoption. Our family strongly supports adoption and would love to be able to adopt a child and we know many other families who feel the same.

    Gen. 17:20 “As for Ishmael, Behold, I have blessed him, and will make him fruitful and will multiply him exceedingly…”

    Gen. 22:17-18 In blessing I will bless thee, and in multiplying I will multiply thy seed as the stars of the heaven and as the sand which is upon the seashore…”

    Gen.24:60 They blessed Rebekah, and said unto her, be thou the mother of thousands and of millions.”

    Deut. 28:63 “…the Lord rejoiced over you to do you good, and to multiply you.”

    Job 42:12-15 “So the Lord blessed the latter end of Job more than his beginning…he had seven sons and three daughters.”

    Psalm 107:38 “He blesses them also, so that they are multiplied greatly.”

    Psalm 127:3-5 ” Lo, children are an heritage of the lord: and the fruit of the womb is His reward. As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth. Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.”

    Psalm 128 “Blessed is every one that feareth the Lord: that walketh in His ways… Happy shalt thou be, and it shall be well with thee. Thy wife shall be as a fruitful vine: thy children like olive plants round about thy table. Behold that thus shall the man be blessed the feareth the Lord.”

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  20. Katrina
    September 6, 2009 | 2:28 am

    Amen! Amen! Amen! to all of the above.

    Abortion is ALWAYS the wrong “choice”. Always.

    What Obama said and meant is VERY clear. There’s no misunderstanding what he meant. He meant that IF his daughters made the wrong choice and got pregnant by mistake, that they should not be punished with a baby. Meaning, they should have the option to abort (kill) that child. I have teenagers, and I never in a million years would ever tell them that! I would never sit them down and tell them, “Listen, I know we’ve raised you with strong moral values, but I just want you to know that IF you make a mistake and find yourself pregnant…well, just know that your father and I believe you should not have to be punished with a baby.” That is clearnly saying that babies are punishment. They are not! They are little humans, little souls, who are created by God, and are no less important than you or me! Just smaller, LOL.

    I am the mommy of nine blessings,ages 18 down to 13 months, and I have been challenged so many times about my stance on abortion.

    “Well, what if YOU were raped? wouldn’t you have an abotion? Don’t you think women should have that choice?”

    My answer: If I was raped and a child were conceived, I would not abort. The child is innocent. I do not have the right to kill anybody. Period. And, not only that, but no matter how it was created, he or she would still be MY flesh and blood. Abortion? How can two wrongs make it right? It can’t. Bad things happen, this is very true, and we cannot always prevent bad things from happening to us. Rape is an awful crime. But we can turn a bad thing into something positive. If I found that I was too emotionally distraugt to keep the baby, I absolutely would give that baby up for adoption. He or she would be a blessing to a couple that might have been praying for a child. Everyone has the right to life. Even those conceived in rape. They are no less human than you or me.

    That has always been my answer to that one.

    “What if during your ultrasound you found out the baby was terribly deformed, or it wouldn’t live for very long once it was born? Wouldn’t you then have an abortion?”

    My answer: Since when did God give ME the power to decide who has the right to live or not? If my unborn baby was discovered to have an underdeveloped brain, for example, and I was told he/she would only live maybe a couple hours after birth… well, then my baby would know LOVE for those few precious hours. I would bond with and love that baby while I had him/her… including during my months of pregnancy. I would not KILL the baby myself through abortion. Gosh, how mothers can do that is beyond me. (I don’t condemn those who do, but rather feel so, so sorry for them. I really believe that abortoin does so much hard to a woman’s emotional state, even years afterwards. It is simply not natural for mothers to kill their babies. It goes against our instinct to protect.)

    “Oh, but that would be so hard emotionally for the mother, carrying a pregnancy to term knowing that she won’t be bringing a child home.”

    Yes, it would be terribly sad. But to abort that child’s life at 9 weeks, 12 weeks gestation just because he or she is not perfect?How is that better than carrying it to term and getting the chance to look in that baby’s eyes, even if only for an hour or two, to kiss those soft cheeks, to say good-bye? To kill the baby in utero is like saying that that little life has no value! And how sad is that! Every life has value! I say, let the baby die in his/her own time. It might be hard on me to say good-bye, but it’s not about me. You can’t always run away from hard things in life. Sometimes we find surprise blessings from our trials in life. Nope, I would carry to term no matter what. Always.

    I get accused of being able to SAY this only because I haven’t been there myself. While it’s true I haven’t had these experiences myself, I still know who I am and what things I am capable of doing. And what things I am not!

    Anyway, I could go on and on. I am so passionate about this subject. Children are gifts from God. GIFTS!

    I just turned 40 and my age doesn’t bother me at all EXCEPT for the fact that I know my child bearing years are coming to an end, and that truly makes me sad. I always say I’m happiest when I have a baby on my hip and one growing in my belly, lol.

    Anyway, I love your blog and am enjoying your homeschooling tips and ideas!

    God Bless you:)

    [Reply]

    Lisa Reply:

    Katrina,
    Were you and I anti-abortion twins separated at birth? LOL You said everything that I have been saying to everyone who would listen since my first oral presentation on the subject in 10th grade circa 1984. I will admit though, you said it so much more eloquently than I think I ever have!

    I think it is our duty, as Christians, to continue to tell people and remind them that children are not an inconvenience, but a miracle. People use the term fetus and act like it’s not human when it’s a fetus. My reply? We have all kinds of names for stages of growth. We all start as an unfertilized ovum, then become a zygote, then a fetus, then a newborn, a toddler, a pre-schooler, etc all the way to adulthood. Just because some of that development takes place in the womb does not discount it as being a part of your and my developmental stages. As I like to say, “you can’t grow human cells from anything else but a human.”

    [Reply]

    Katrina Roldan Reply:

    I love what you say about having all kinds of names for the stages of growth – I never thought of it that way! It’ so true! I will be sure to make that point the next time someone tries to justify abortion to me.

    Katrina @ mommyninetimes.blogspot.com

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    Kris Ellis Reply:

    Having lived through a pregnancy where our baby had a lethal dwarfism (thanatophoric dysplasia) I can attest that it is a difficult situation–but yet so precious. Our daughter only lived for a few brief minutes but I cherish the time I had with her in my womb. She is a sweet soul that I cannot wait to meet again on the other side of heaven!

    The only thoughts I had of “killing” during that difficult time was the obnoxious doctors who kept pushing me to abort our baby!! One was so insistent–kept telling us that the baby was “only going to die anyway”. This guy was so persistent that I finally got so angry that I wanted a gun to point at him to tell him that I was going to shoot him since he was “only going to die anyway”–someday. Sigh. Not very Christlike but I so wanted to make a point to this guy!! Life is precious now matter how many days you are given!! If we don’t stand up for those who cannot speak for themselves, who will???

    Kris
    seekingtheancientpaths.blogspot.com

    [Reply]

  21. jenni
    September 8, 2009 | 5:06 pm

    just a gentle reminder: you do realize that your King was created by God, the same God who created the Obama family, along with the rest of us? it’s un-christ like to pass judgement, also, not in our job description as followers of Christ.

    [Reply]

    Raising Olives Reply:

    Jenni,

    Hi Jenni. Thanks for taking the time to leave a comment. I would like to mention just a couple of things.

    First of all, since I am a citizen of the U.S., the only King that I have is King Jesus and He was not created by God. He is God. I’m not opening this up for discussion, I’m just telling you what we believe. John 1:1-5 teaches us that “the Word” (Jesus Christ) was in the beginning with God, He is not a created being.

    Secondly, you say that it is un-Christ like to pass judgment and that it is not in our job description. Our only measure of Christ-likeness is the Bible which is also our job description and throughout the Bible Christians are given commands that necessitate judgment, in addition to being directly commanded to judge. Here are just a few examples:

    In Matthew 7:6 Christians are commanded not to give that which is holy to dogs or cast our pearls before swine. We obviously must judge “dogs” and “swine” in order to obey.

    Christians are also commanded not to be unequally yoked together with an unbeliever in 2 Cor. 6:14. We must be able to judge between believers and unbelievers to obey this command and we are told that we can judge a man by his fruit (his actions).

    In Matthew 10, Jesus is sending his disciples out and he tells them in verse 11 to search out who is worthy and to allow their (the disciple’s) peace to remain with that house, but if a house was unworthy that they should allow their peace to return to them. Then in verse 14 and 15 He commands them to shake off the dust of their feet in any city that will not hear their words and that that city will be punished more severely than Sodom and Gomorrah.

    Christ Himself passed judgment throughout His earthly ministry. He called the Pharisees vipers (Mt. 12:34) and hypocrites and warns His followers time and again not to be like them.

    I posted about judging in an un-Christ like manner as opposed to judging with love here.

    Thanks again for your comment.

    ~Kimberly

    [Reply]

    Dominga Reply:

    Well said 🙂

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    Kitty Reply:

    This made me smile. Hee hee!

    [Reply]

  22. Susan
    September 10, 2009 | 11:30 pm

    Your answers to the commenters who do not believe that Obama could (and did) actually make that comment are very kind and gracious. Would that I was that way also ;D We have 5 children, losing Timothy hours after birth to a chromosome defect we didn’t know about. My nephew (now 24) is a product of date rape. My parents were amazing support for my sister and my sister is one of my heroes…she’s a great mom and he is an amazing young man.

    I find Obama’s attitude and demeanor very troubling and disturbing. Material goods are not all there is, but he and his wife seem to be incapable of realizing that. They both made it as far as they did thru affirmative action, education, etc., yet they want to deny that same opportunity to other children.

    And yes, I prefer #2. We love our ‘large’ family and when we see others with larger families, make it a point to compliment them on the children’s behaviour. They are ALWAYS more well-behaved than one child families. You know the ones…the kids that you want to trip as they run screaming thru the aisles at Sam’s.

    [Reply]

    Shari Reply:

    In esponse to Susan: You say, “They are ALWAYS more well-behaved than one child families.” I disagree! There are people in our church who have very well-behaved only children. We have let God have control how many children we have and He, so far, has stopped us at three precious boys! They are very well-behaved. Be sure you have your facts straight because I have also seen large families have children who misbehave horribly.

    [Reply]

    Believe Reply:

    Shari, that is why this is a blog, commentary page. I often see exactly what Susan made a note of. Large families vs. small families. I have to agree. Many, many times (but not all) the ones with one child are often not as willing to discipline the one and allow that child to be disruptive. Now I have 4 myself and mine are far from well behaved, but I find no offense in Susan’s comment.

    [Reply]

  23. Sara
    September 11, 2009 | 11:04 pm

    What an amazing testimony you have! And I have to say amen to every point you have made about the controversy of abortion and what our President believes that children are a punishment. I have four children (so far) and would welcome any blessing the Lord gave me. Thank you for sharing, and for your website!

    In His Grace,
    sara

    [Reply]

  24. Andrea
    September 25, 2009 | 2:50 pm

    Just discovered your blog—I love it! I have six children and it is such a blessing to find others who also have large families! Do you ever get those looks from people or even comments? I am curious as to what would be a good response. I want to keep it Christlike but it really bothers me, especially when people make comments within hearing of the children.

    [Reply]

    Raising Olives Reply:

    Hi Andrea – I just try to smile when people are thoughtless. If possible I like to mention God’s blessing or goodness also, but sometimes a smile is all it takes.

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  25. Brittany
    September 25, 2009 | 9:15 pm

    Thrilled to see that there are still wonderful people out there, I was beginning to lose faith in humanity! Love your ideas, beautiful family.Thank you for doing your part to bring precious little people to this earth.

    [Reply]

  26. Maryann
    October 18, 2009 | 1:03 pm

    Love your site! Your family is beautiful and I applaud you for standing up for your beliefs! I completely agree with you on our Presidents statement about babies. They are a blessing and should be looked upon as such– not only when it is convenient for everyone.

    Thank you!

    [Reply]

    Raising Olives Reply:

    Thank you Maryann.

    [Reply]

  27. Trudy
    October 27, 2009 | 5:17 pm

    My daughter and her husband have 6 children, so we too, often get the questions about having so many children. We just smile sweetly and say “well, they both prayed for 3 children, guess we should have prayed more specifically, that it was a total – not each!”. It usually cracks up everyone, and stops the questions.

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  28. S.
    November 16, 2009 | 7:20 pm

    I stumbled across your site via your rain gutter bookshelves, and I feel I should applaud you for the admirable job you seem to be doing with your family. I think it’s wonderful that you love children and would welcome that life no matter how it entered into yours. However, I must say that I find your comment that abortion is always wrong a bit disturbing. Admittedly, I’m not fond of the idea, sometimes it really is not an appropriate choice, and in a perfect world it would never be necessary. Unfortunately, this is not a perfect world and I cannot believe that you would condemn the mother to death for the, (supposed sake,) of the child. There are cases where a woman becomes pregnant but to carry the child to term would be a death sentence either because the physical strain would be too much for her body and would result in her dying, or because the emotional toll of the circumstances of the pregnancy would do her in, (either through rape, an unstable family life, inability to care for the child, social/family judgement brought on them because of various factors, etc…) I don’t see how you can bring a life into this world knowing it will do nothing but suffer. Yes, once here we have the choice to do with our lives what we can- but that child did not choose to be conceived (or did, I suppose, depending on your view point, but if you want to argue that than you can also deal with the fact that an unborn child may or may not actually have a spirit/soul at the point when an abortion is performed, etc…) The fact remains that sometimes an abortion is not merely the best choice, it is the only choice. For every mother that regrets having an abortion I am quite positive that there are those who will forever regret that they didn’t have one- and what kind of life is that for a child when they grow up knowing that they are completely and utterly unwanted? Children should be a blessing, not a punishment. While there are those who can survive a rape and raise the child loving it, there are those who will never be able to forgive the attacker and will never be able to look that child in the eyes (and putting the child up for adoption promises absolutely nothing, I’m afraid). This is not a judgement on the mother or her spirituality or whatever, it means only that they have different ways of surviving that horror and helplessness.
    If you want to do something about the rate of abortion than you need to change the fabric of society- make this a place where the idea of raping someone is so utterly abhorrent no one would dare; put supports in place that mean the woman isn’t blamed for what happened; improve access to, and education about, contraceptives; improve supports for youth who are facing becoming parents; provide competent sex-education in schools- neither the abstinence-only nonsense or the STI scare tactics. It can be done, but only if people pull themselves together and get out of the ‘holier-than-thou’ or indifferent states that seem to permeate western society.
    When you get right down to it, everyone is doing the best to live the way they believe they should based on the education they’ve received and the experiences they’ve lived through. What is best for one isn’t necessarily best for all and that goes for everything in life; abortion, religion, all of it. I would hope that you would not add further negativity to someone’s life by condemning them for the already exceedingly difficult decision they’ve made- pity, too, can be just as bad. You aren’t them, and all the empathy in the world will never allow you to experience what they’re going through, just as they will never be able to fully comprehend your stand on the issues. If your own child was to choose an abortion I would hope that you would stand by them in the exact same way you would if they were going to raise the child. A painful thing to contemplate, I’m sure, but if you can view the issue in those terms, perhaps you’ll begin to understand it more fully. If you wouldn’t love your own child any less for such a choice, how can you condemn others? And if you would love a child less for that choice… then there is something far more saddening going on in this world than the act of abortion itself.
    Blessed be, S.

    [Reply]

    Raising Olives Reply:

    S. I’d like to make just a couple of points about your comment. First of all, I never suggested that I would condemn a woman to death. My position in the EXTREMELY rare situation that the life of the mother is actually, physically at risk, is that every effort should be made to protect the life of both the mother and the child.

    This is actually not simply a hypothetical situation for me. When my mother was 35 years old and expecting her fifth child, she was diagnosed with cancer. (You may read more of the story here.) The doctors told my parents that if she did not have an abortion and begin treatment for the cancer, that neither my mother nor the child would survive the pregnancy. To make a long story short, my parents refused an abortion. Not only do I have a healthy, happy 25 year old brother who serves in the military and just found out that his wife will be having their first child in June, my mother is still also living and enjoying her grandchildren.

    Another thing I want to address is what your standard is for saying that life is valuable. I believe that all human life is valuable because God created it and God says it is (“Thou shalt not murder”). The standard that you set forth in your comment for human life having value is higher than that. You state that it is a bad idea to bring life into the world knowing that it will do nothing but suffer and in this case not only is abortion the BEST choice, it is the ONLY choice. So my question for you is, if life that is full of suffering (even if we could see into the future and KNOW for certain that is what a life would contain) really not worth protecting? So what about people who are currently suffering, would the BEST, the ONLY choice for them be to kill them so they are not condemned to more suffering? You state that adoption is not a guarantee, you’re correct, neither is having a mother who loves and wants you at birth. We have no guarantees. At what point, in your belief system does life become valuable and worthy of protecting? If it is wanted by the mother? What if that changes, is the life once again not worth preserving? What about if the father or grandparents want and love the baby, should we protect the child’s life in that case? At what point does life have value? My position is clear on this point, yours is less so.

    The other point I’d like to address is that you believe that we should not judge others because we can’t possibly understand their whole situation and where they are coming from. You said,

    everyone is doing the best to live the way they believe they should based on the education they’ve received and the experiences they’ve lived through…. I would hope that you would not add further negativity to someone’s life by condemning them for the already exceedingly difficult decision.

    Based upon your stated standard, we should not have any prison or penal system and neither should we have any rich. Who are we to judge, condemn or reward another’s actions whether they are good or bad?

    You aren’t them, and all the empathy in the world will never allow you to experience what they’re going through, just as they will never be able to fully comprehend your stand on the issues.

    By your standard you have no basis for stating that the idea of raping someone should be utterly abhorrent, although you do just that in the previous paragraph. You also have no basis for condemning the rapist, thief or murderer.

    Now you apply this directly to the fact that you believe that I should stand by my child if she chose an abortion. First, let me make it clear that if one of my children chose an abortion I would not love them any less. My goal is that my love for my children is defined by God’s Word and is not dependent on their actions. Just as Christ loves me in spite of who and what I am, so my goal is to love my children in that same manner. Just as Christ has forgiven my sins, so I would choose to forgive my child.

    However, just as I would not stand beside and support my child if she chose to murder your child, so I would not stand beside and support her if she murdered her own.

    I appreciate your respectful tone in taking the time to express your point of view.

    [Reply]

    Katrina Reply:

    Wow — the way you put together your words is amazing to me. I love, love, love this response and agree with it completely!!

    [Reply]

    S. Reply:

    Firstly, I would like to thank you for taking the time to respond to my comment, and to express my happiness that what could have been a tremendous tragedy for your family instead ended so well.
    In reading your response and re-reading my original comment it became clear that I had indeed been a little vague on my stance and, while trying to be as gentle and coherent as possible, had actually failed to include the core of my position.
    The main argument against abortion is generally that it is murder. However, in order for it to be murder that which is destroyed has to be alive. From my understanding and information on the subject, both from a medical as well as a religious/spiritual viewpoint (across a number of religions including Christianity), an abortion when it is performed (certainly in the earlier stages, although I will admit that this line blurs a little when you get to the end of the medically allowable timeline,) what takes place is not an ending of life, as is argued in the pro-life movement, but the removal of the potential for life. This distinction is important- you would not consider an almond to be a living entity, but the sprout, should that seed be given the chance, would be considered alive. A sperm and an egg are not living entities on their own- until development has progress to a point where the embryo is an entity separate from the mother (not born, but having brain function, heartbeat, a soul, …) I would not consider it to be alive as merits that distinction. What appals me far more is the wanton destruction of life that takes place every day (war, murder for food, etc…)- there is no suffering to be had by the nonliving. In this case an abortion is allowable as it does not kill- intentionally bringing life into a knowingly abhorrent situation is far more revolting. Once here there are not guarantees, and I’ve never argued otherwise; that doesn’t mean that we don’t have a responsibility regarding the life we choose to bring into this world, (and it is, indeed, a choice: free-will is something our species has). Far better not to do it, and to remove the potential, than to leave it too late and be a party to torture. We are only energy- remove the potential in one area and it will find an outlet somewhere else- hopefully one that proves to be far more positive.
    My point about judgement and people doing the best they can was not to condone rape or murder, but to make clear that people are not intentionally destructive in many cases but are simply working with what they’ve been given, meaning that to label them as being wantonly out of line is not necessarily correct.
    On this, I think we will have to agree to disagree- however, to know that you allow for the situations where it is indeed by all accounts the only option (the certain, or near certain, death of the mother) leaves me far more heartened by the state of the world and the reasonableness of humanity.
    Good wishes for you and your family,
    S.

    [Reply]

    Raising Olives Reply:

    I will address the majority of your response when I have a little more time. However, I wanted to clear something up immediately. I do not condone abortion in any circumstances. Abortion is killing an innocent child in the mother’s womb and I do not support or condone that any more that I would support or condone killing an innocent 5 year old child.

    My position, when the life of the mother is at risk, is that medical professionals should seek to save both the mother and the child, in much the same way that medical personnel would seek to save the lives of all victims of a multi-victim accident.

    [Reply]

    Believe Reply:

    AMEN!
    You know I am the fruit of my mother’s faith. My father was asked that very question in 1972 “Which would you like to save, your wife or your child?” My parents already had a 2 yr old little boy (my brother) and my mother was pregnant for the second time and was about 6 1/2 months when she went in to labor. She lost a lot of blood and was given an emergency c-section. My father’s response to the doctor was “Save them both!” he also told the doctor “I have a small son at home that needs his mother.” The doctor told him he would do what he could. The child was born and was a premie. She only lived for a few hours then she passed. My father and mother were advised by the doctor at that time that because of her history with her difficult labors, he strongly urged them to consider tying my mother’s tubes. My father was afraid of possibly losing mom in the next pregnancy and tried to talk her in to tying her tubes. I praise her now for standing up to them both and she feared not! She told them both she WOULD NOT tie her tubes and she said she would have another daughter, and she did… she had me the following year. I know my father was only trying to protect her and my brother and of course fear of losing her is what was behind his agreement with the doctor.

    My mother’s pain and sorrow was deep and yet she stayed faithful and believed in GOD and in a moment when others would have not leaned on him and perhaps blamed and turned away because of the loss of the child… my mother did not. She simply prayed and did not lose hope and faith.

    I have blessed them with 4 beautiful grandchildren. 2 young ladies in high school and 2 little boys in grade school. 😀
    No grandkids from my brother yet.

    I consider my parents full of wealth to be able to enjoy their grandchildren today and a blessing it is for me to be able to witness all the joy they bring them.

    [Reply]

    Katrina Reply:

    The tiny heart starts beating 24 days after conception. Many women don’t even realize they are pregnant at that time. Most abortions take place at the 5-12 week mark, once that heart is beating strongly. A beating heart = LIFE

    [Reply]

    Raising Olives Reply:

    I wanted to address your argument on whether an abortion is ending a life. You say,

    in order for it (abortion) to be murder that which is destroyed has to be alive

    In this aspect we agree. In order for abortion to be murder it must involve ending a human life.

    You state that according to your understanding,

    abortion when it is performed …. is not an ending of life, as is argued in the pro-life movement, but the removal of the potential for life

    and

    A sperm and an egg are not living entities on their own- until development has progress to a point where the embryo is an entity separate from the mother (not born, but having brain function, heartbeat, a soul, …)

    (Actually, both the egg and the sperm are scientifically living entities.)

    I’d like to start with your definition of life. I think it’s a good one, in that if a human meets your definition it is CERTAINLY, UNQUESTIONABLY and UNDENIABLY alive. Your definition is also legally defensible apart from the presence of a soul. This is the definition used in medicine. A person can not be declared “dead” so long as they have both a spontaneous heartbeat and brain function. Both of these are measurable and defendable.

    As early as 21 days after conception a baby’s heart begins to beat it’s own blood type, often different from it’s mother’s. (Moore & Persaud, The Developing Human, p.310; Nilsson & Hamberger, A Child is Born, p.86; Rugh & Shettles, From Conception to Birth, p.217). By the time a woman is 6 weeks pregnant we can visualize this heart beat via ultrasound. When I was just over 6 weeks pregnant with my current pregnancy, I saw my child’s heart beating.

    By 40 days after conception brain waves can be detected and read on an EEG (Dr. H. Hamlin, Life or Death by EEG, JAMA, Oct.12, 1964, p.113.) This doesn’t mean that they aren’t present previous to this, but by this point we can detect and read them.

    By the time a baby/embryo is 6 weeks gestation it meets the generally accepted medical requirements for human life and even the measurable aspects of what you say you would consider life. So by your argument that “in order for it to be murder that which is destroyed has to be alive” and by all measurable aspects of your definition “not born, but having brain function, heartbeat, a soul,” any abortion taking place after 6 weeks is murder.

    Now let’s speak about soul/spirit. In Luke 1:41 it is recorded that when Elizabeth heard the sound of Mary’s (the mother of our Lord) voice the babe (John the Baptist) lept in her womb and in verse 44 we have Elizabeth’s spirit filled explanation that her baby “leaped in my womb for joy”. John, while still unborn, experienced and expressed joy. Psalm 139:13 says, “For thou didst form my inward parts: Thou didst cover me in my mother’s womb.” God is concerned and in control of life even while in it’s mother’s womb. While there is no way for us to measure when the spirit or soul enters into a child, it is Biblically evident in these and many other passages that the soul/spirit enters before birth. For us to put an arbitrary time on exactly when that occurs is simply that, arbitrary. You could say the spirit enters with the first breath and someone else could argue that the spirit doesn’t enter until the child has demonstrable rational thought. If we allow this to be a requirement for the definition of life, none of us could PROVE that we are alive and therefore there could be no definitive, legal protection of “life”.

    All of this said, the generally accepted definition of life is much broader than merely a heart beat and brain function. Most beginning biology textbooks give several “characteristics of life”, being made of one or more cells, capable of reproduction, responding to the environment, adapting and changing, requiring a source of energy, and growing and/or developing. A human fertilized egg meets all of these requirements and is human (obviously). It is a completely separate and genetically distinct individual. So from the moment of fertilization this is definable, human life.

    If you truly believe, as you state that you do, that abortion is a neutral action, merely the “removal of the potential for life”. Then why say,

    Admittedly, I’m not fond of the idea (abortion), sometimes it really is not an appropriate choice, and in a perfect world it would never be necessary.

    If abortion were morally neutral there would be no need to be less than fond of the idea, no need to try to limit it, no need to “change the fabric of society” so that abortion would no longer be necessary and no reason that abortion should not exist in a perfect world.

    One last point about judgment. You seem to suggest that I’m judging people’s motives. You say, “that people are not intentianally destructive in many cases”. True. I can’t know a person’s motives and I don’t claim to. I know that when I sin I don’t often set out to be destructive, but whether I am being intentionally destructive or unintentionally destructive does not change the fact that I am destructive. It is not loving to support anyone in destructive, sinful behavior. Our only hope for salvation, for a right relationship with Christ is recognizing and turning from our sin. For us to try to hide or camouflage another person’s sin or to attempt to support them in their sinful behavior is hindering them from seeking the only true source of salvation from their destruction.

    If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say that we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us. My little children, these things write I unto you that ye may not sin. And if any man sin, we have an Advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous: and he is the propitiation for our sins; and not for ours only, but also for the whole world. 1 John 1:8-2:2

    Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye doubleminded. Be afflicted, and mourn, and weep: let your laughter be turned to mourning, and your joy to heaviness. Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall exalt you. James 4:8-10

    Repentance is difficult and sorrowful, but it is the only hope that we sinners have of salvation and eternal life.

    [Reply]

    Kathy Reply:

    I was a child that wasn’t wanted, and I was made aware of that fact almost every day, but I am so glad that that I was not aborted. We never know what God has in store for us. My suffering as a child made me a strong enough woman to handle several heart breaking losses of children. It has also made me appreciate my children and loving husband rather than taking them for granted.

    [Reply]

  29. angelia
    November 18, 2009 | 5:38 pm

    hello sister, how very gracious i find your responses-and like the other sister above, how i wish that i was that gracious. i guess that comes with being prayed up, huh?
    i was an unmarried 21 yr old when i got pregnant with my daughter, now age 23. my mother thought this was the most awful thing that i could have EVER done to her-it was implied that the only reason i had done this was for the sole purpose of embarrassing her-and she was relentless in her aggressive opinion of making me get an abortion.
    for me, it was NEVER an option-i was immediately shocked and repulsed by the idea-i had already repented of my sin of pre-marital sex, but when you play, you must pay the piper.
    there was NEVER any question in my mind what i would do-i was pregnant, and like you’ve said, the child was innocent-and like the Bible says, “BEFORE I WAS FORMED IN THE WOMB, YOU KNEW ME”.
    i agree with you sister-there was no way that i could have made any other decision.

    [Reply]

    Raising Olives Reply:

    Thank you for your kindness and being willing to share your story.

    [Reply]

  30. mama of 3+
    November 19, 2009 | 4:05 pm

    I’m not pro-choice. I do believe that adoption is always better then abortion, however…I do believe that if the woman won’t consider adoption and the only two options are abortion or raise the baby herself, sometimes the baby is way better off dead (in heaven) then living with a cruel horrible monster of a mother. I know of one such mother who has one living child and has had 5 abortions. I tried and tried and tried to get her to give the first aborted baby up for adoption. I offered to take it myself, but she refused. In her situation, I have no doubt all the babies she had killed are better off.

    [Reply]

    Raising Olives Reply:

    This comment really amazes me.

    It really makes no difference whether you or I or anyone else believes that a person would be better off dead. Life is valuable, not because it is happy, not because you don’t have a “cruel, horrible monster of a mother” and not because you don’t live in poverty or aren’t born in the midst of famine. Human life is valuable and must be protected because God says so.

    I find your assertion to be astonishingly arrogant, you claim that you “know” what was best for those aborted children. You have no way of knowing what the future holds and no way to determine what God’s plan is for any person’s life. Many godly and wonderful people have come from a background of tragedy and suffering.

    A child, “with a cruel horrible monster of a mother”, living in a developed country will, most likely, never even begin to understand the depth of suffering that is common for children born in countries where starvation, genocide and child and group rape are rampant. By your standard, those performing the genocide are doing the right thing, because the people they kill are “better off” than the ones who survive and suffer through the horror. By your standard you should support military action to those nations, not to solve the problems, but to put more people out of their misery.

    [Reply]

    mama of 3+ Reply:

    I wouldn’t go as far as saying genocide puts people out of their misery but I stand by my statement that these babies are better off dead. To just let God “handle it” seems selfish to me when He has given us the means to make some suffering end. I’ve heard of mothers being applauded for letting their terminally ill baby to be born. How is that right?! That is the ultimate selfishness! If the baby is guaranteed to have a miserable existence and we have the means to end it’s suffering, how can we allow it to be born into that? That’s cruel! I don’t think God would want that.
    Do you believe in capital punishment, most anti-abortion people do? Why is ok to “play God” and kill a criminal but not ok to put an innocent baby out of it’s misery and send it to Heaven?

    [Reply]

    poppopto20 Reply:

    Wow! Where do I begin?

    First I would ask why you wouldn’t go so far as to say that genocide puts people out of their misery? If killing an unborn child is preferable to subjecting him to potential hardship why is it not preferable to killing those who are actually suffering real hardship? The principle of killing those who may or do endure hardship is the underlying principle that supports euthanasia, infanticide and genocide. Please note that I am not saying that you do support those evils. I am saying that you have no reason not to support them based on the presupposition that you state for preferring abortion to being raised in a bad home. In the final analysis the principle upon which you make your determination is your preference.

    Your position also presupposes that you have an infallible understanding of what the future holds. You cannot possibly know what God may do in the life of the family involved or the child born into that family. Yet you are ready to encourage the killing of an unborn child.

    As for your objection to parents letting their terminally ill child be born you would applaud those who would put the terminally ill child to death. Do I hear your applause for executing those suffering terminal illness who are already born? If not, why not? You than replace God’s revealed will with your own preference. The sixth commandment expressly forbids taking innocent life. Is terminal illness a crime that deserves the death penalty. God says no. You imply that God says yes.

    Finally you fail to notice a vital distinction between the taking of innocent life and taking the life of those guilty of crimes that God says warrant the death penalty. Christians are perfectly consistent in opposing abortion and supporting the death penalty when the Bible’s requirements for justice are met. A child in the womb has done nothing to warrant execution by a lawfully constituted authority. God requires the life of those who commit crimes worthy of the death penalty. You seem to want to reverse God’s order. It’s good to kill the innocent (in some cases) but it’s bad to kill those worthy of death.

    [Reply]

    mama of 3+ Reply:

    The purpose of genocide is not to put people out of their misery. It’s purpose is to make a certain religion or race extinct. That’s why I would not support it.

    I understand your main point is that it’s up to God what happens to human life? Do you believe in any medical intervention? Human invented medicine could go against God based on your argument that we don’t know what the future holds for us. I do believe in medical intervention. I also do believe in euthanasia. I feel that if God gave us the means to end suffering in a terminal ill patient, why not use it? I think euthanasia is just a more extreme form of medical intervention. That’s again where I’m at with aborting an innocent baby who’s guaranteed a miserable life of suffering.

    Ofcourse an innocent baby is more important to me than a death row criminal. That’s exactly why I wouldn’t want that innocent baby to suffer! The baby would be in Heaven! Why let it be born knowing all the hardships it will suffer and knowing it will die soon after birth anyway. I think it’s selfish to let it be born into that when God gave us the means to end it’s suffering!

    Are we not more important than animals? Nobody would let an animal suffer and just wait to die, why would we put a baby through that?!

    [Reply]

    angelia Reply:

    if you dont like what kimberly has on her page, you don’t have to visit-thats the best way to keep from arguing

    Kimberly @ Raising Olives Reply:

    Mama of 3+ –

    God, the King of kings and Lord of lords, the creator and giver of ALL life, gives us, His created beings a command in Exodus 20:13 “Thou shalt not murder.” The main point, in the discussion of abortion, of any who love and fear God is that God tells us it is wrong to take innocent life. Your response to this absolute standard given to us in God’s holy, inspired and infallible Word? You condemn God Himself calling His standard “selfish”. Your reason, your authority for the condemnation of the one who created you, gave you life and blessed you with children is that it seems so to you.

    You have set yourself up as an idol. The only standard by which you judge “right” and “wrong”, “good” and “evil” are your thoughts, feelings or beliefs. You have given no basis for those thoughts, feelings or beliefs beyond your own fallible intellect that was created and given to you by God and yet with it you condemn God and disregard His clear commands. Not once in your arguments for the death of the innocent have you appealed to any authority higher than yourself.

    because that, knowing God, they glorified him not as God, neither gave thanks; but became vain in their reasonings, and their senseless heart was darkened. Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools, and changed the glory of the incorruptible God for the likeness of an image of corruptible man, and of birds, and four-footed beasts, and creeping things. Wherefore God gave them up in the lusts of their hearts unto uncleanness, that their bodies should be dishonored among themselves: for that they exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshipped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed for ever. Amen. (Romans 1:20-25) (emphasis mine)

    Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter! Woe unto them that are wise in their own eyes, and prudent in their own sight! (Isaiah 5:20-21) (emphasis mine)

    In my post “Disagreeing with Love” I lay out the standard for discussions on this site:

    * The Bible, both the Old and New Testaments is God’s inspired Word and as such is the standard by which we judge every aspect of our lives. Human logic or “practicality” does not trump God’s Word, ever.

    * The Bible speaks to every area of our lives and is sufficient for every problem that we face.

    Because you have exalted your opinion and your reason above God and His Word, there is no point in carrying this discussion any further.

    Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast your pearls before the swine, lest haply they trample them under their feet, and turn and rend you. (Matthew 7:6)

    For others who may be reading this I’d like to point out a couple other assumptions that mama of 3+ makes that have no authority, no basis outside of her mind.

    First, she says repeatedly that if you kill a baby it will be in heaven. God, however, gives no such guarantee.

    I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I will have compassion. So then it is not of him that willeth, nor of him that runneth, but of God that sheweth mercy. For the scripture saith unto Pharaoh, Even for this same purpose have I raised thee up, that I might shew my power in thee, and that my name might be declared throughout all the earth. Therefore hath he mercy on whom he will have mercy, and whom he will he hardeneth. Thou wilt say then unto me, Why doth he yet find fault? For who hath resisted his will? Nay but, O man, who art thou that repliest against God? Shall the thing formed say to him that formed it, Why hast thou made me thus? Hath not the potter power over the clay, of the same lump to make one vessel unto honour, and another unto dishonour? Romans 9:15-21

    Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the LORD thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me; And shewing mercy unto thousands of them that love me, and keep my commandments. Exodus 20:5-6

    And I will establish my covenant between me and thee and thy seed after thee throughout their generations for an everlasting covenant, to be a God unto thee and to thy seed after thee. Genesis 17:7

    While it is completely possible and likely that God has mercy and compassion on some aborted infants and they are ushered directly into the presence of God, and while it is reasonable that Christians who loose children should have confidence that God will be faithful to His promise to be a God to us and to our children after us, God does not guarantee that children of unbelievers will go to heaven. (Remember, I’m not saying that they don’t. I’m simply saying that this is an assumption, God does not promise heaven to unborn children.)

    Because a Christan opposes using medical intervention to kill an innocent person does not mean that they would oppose medical intervention for the opposite purpose, that is absurd. On the contrary, Christians encourage the lawful use of medical intervention to preserve, prolong and/or improve life for exactly the same reasons that we oppose the use of medical intervention for the purpose of killing of innocent life. God is a lover of life and as His people we also love life. That is precisely my point in “Reason #10” above.

  31. angelia
    November 19, 2009 | 8:54 pm

    one thing that i did forget to tell you-other than coming to know the Lord Jesus as my personal Savior at the age of 27, my daughter has been the best blessing He has ever bestowed upon me. i have to say that I HAVE NEVER REGRETTED having her, and once my mother realized and accepted that she wasn’t going to be able to change my mind, she came around, and once she held my daughter for the first time, right up until she passed away 2 years ago, she thought samantha hung the moon.
    other than knowing the Lord, my children are absolutely the best thing that has ever come into my life. you could not pay me enough money to go back in time and change a thing. much love sister, angelia

    [Reply]

  32. JoyFilledMom
    November 20, 2009 | 10:07 pm

    What a great site! I am new at ‘blogging’ and your site kinda distracted me from other things; HAHA! like cooking! My husband is pretty great too and didn’t complain.

    I love the reasons for a large family! We have 4 children; I am growing weary of the stares and comments but God has recently given me encouraging words to respond with. And now I have a few more responses, thanks to you 🙂

    WOW how this page has gone from reasons to have kids to pro-life/pro-abortion amd now to capital punishment(BTW–killing is different than murder if you want to look it up in the dictionary)!

    Maybe we need to refocus on why most of us looked at this site; meeting and encouraging one another until our Lord returns. (1 Thes 5:11)

    God is truly blessing you. Keep your eyes on Him
    God’s love!

    [Reply]

  33. mama of 3+
    November 23, 2009 | 9:29 am

    Apparently, I’m an agnostic then because I cannot love a god that may or may not send innocent children (whether aborted or just children of nonbelievers)to hell. I was on the fence anyway, but the more I read the Bible the more I doubt that it’s actually God’s word. I won’t be visiting this site anymore except to use your helpful tips on big family house chores, homeschooling, etc. Thanks for the debate (BTW,I was trying to debate and not argue). All I have in this world is my “fallible” opinion of what is right and wrong and I will continue to do and think what I believe is right and just.

    [Reply]

    Kimberly @ Raising Olives Reply:

    I agree with you, you do not believe in the God of the Bible, and I appreciate your honesty.

    I pray that God will reveal Himself to you and that you will be overwhelmed by His love, mercy and goodness because they are overwhelming. Romans 5:28 “God commendeth His own love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us” and John 3:16 “For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish but have everlasting life”.

    [Reply]

  34. Holly L
    November 28, 2009 | 12:51 am

    I just stumbled across your blog…an I LOVE it. I had to see what you were all about…your reasons for a large family are wonderful and inspiring and relevant to even a smaller family. I look forward to reading more.

    Holly @ 504 Main

    [Reply]

    Kimberly @ Raising Olives Reply:

    Thanks for your encouragement. I look forward to getting to know you better. 🙂

    [Reply]

  35. Kirsten Zoellner
    November 30, 2009 | 12:27 pm

    Oh, you’ve made my day! I just happened to find your blog (via MckMama) and I’m again thankful that there are like-minded ladies in this amazing world.

    We currently have three children (and are on pregnancy #5) and have always said we’ll take what God blesses us with (although I secretly hope for a baker’s dozen!). Our family and friends are starting to come around to our way of thinking or are, in the very least, realizing that 1) we’re not completely off our rockers and 2) we actually WANT these many small blessings!

    Feel free to stop in at our blog as I will certainly be checking yours between homeschool breaks and insomnia moments.

    – Kirsten

    [Reply]

    Kimberly @ Raising Olives Reply:

    Congratulations on your newest blessing and thanks!

    [Reply]

  36. erin
    April 3, 2010 | 2:20 am

    Katrina,
    You are not off on what you say here! Our first baby had Anencephaly. I felt all the ways you say you would feel. It was, indeed hard! Strangers were always asking me questions about the baby & giving me parenting advice & this & that. And, I knew I would only have a brief time to meet my baby. I prayed that he would life long enough for us to see him alive. He did. After I went into spontaneous early labor at 32 weeks, he lived through delivery & then about 10 more minutes. My husband got to hold him a feel him breathing & look into his eyes. That was amazing. And, I cherished every moment of being pregnant with him. God blesses us with that little life.

    [Reply]

  37. erin
    April 3, 2010 | 2:22 am

    Kimberly,
    I am so encouraged by your powerful & gracious truth telling. You comment responses blow me away! I want to be like you. 🙂

    [Reply]

    Kimberly @ Raising Olives Reply:

    God is good and uses the weak and foolish of this world to confound the mighty. It is all Him.

    [Reply]

  38. Ashley
    April 3, 2010 | 11:26 pm

    I can’t believe I’ve just gone down the entire comment roll for this post–what an engaging debate you’ve been having! I admit that I was a fence-sitter in the life debate until I lost my first child early in pregnancy, and gave birth to my second child last July. My husband and I are now expecting a third, due in September. The devastation of losing a child, mixed with the joy of bringing another into the world followed by still another one, cast the debate in stark black and white. Looking into my son’s eyes assures me of the presence of God in our lives, and makes me know that my number-one job on earth is accepting and nurturing His gifts. Thank you for your encouragement and conviction. I hope that you realize how much you have helped me understand my own feelings about this issue.

    [Reply]

  39. Candice
    April 6, 2010 | 9:02 pm

    Oh thank you thank you for your honesty! Real answers! I love it!

    [Reply]

  40. […] Reasons We Have a Large Family […]

  41. Marjorie
    May 5, 2010 | 2:48 am

    A good friend referred me to your ‘blog and I have read every single comment on this particular thread. I used to be staunchly “pro-choice” (i.e. pro abortion) until a series of events in my own life gave me a long, hard pause and time to think. I lost my first child to miscarriage at about 7 weeks and my heart was so broken. Why? Because I hadn’t lost a “potential” life, I’d lost a child, a real, living person whose heartbeat I’d seen on a screen just as sure as my own heart beat. 10 years and four precious children later, I am a changed person and cannot deny what’s true — we are fearfully and wonderfully made and known to God long before we are known to each other. A dear friend of mine and his wife had the agonizing choice whether to abort after they learned their baby would be born severely deformed because of a missing chromosome. They’d already lost one baby at about 4 mos. pregnancy to this same condition. They courageously chose life, however short it might be, and their son was born at term. He lived three days during which time they got to hold him, bathe him, love him, and sleep with him to nurse. When he passed, it was on God’s terms and on His timetable and NOT on the terms of mere mortals. Heartbreaking? You bet. But how much more they would have lost without those three priceless days. Now he’s not just a “what could have been.” Instead, he lives forever in their hearts and memories because they got to know him in a way that aborting him would have prevented.

    [Reply]

  42. amanda
    May 17, 2010 | 12:14 am

    Thank you so much for this list. My 4th baby is now almost 4 months old and I’m so sick of hearing all the comments about having so many kids. I was just saying that I need to get a tshirt printed up with all my responses. After being told that I would most likely never have children and to now I have the 4 most beautiful blessings in the world, I would not change anything. We did not plan this and my husband said he was finished after #2 and now seems to be in a whatever kind of mindset, we will just see what God has in store for us. I believe it is up to God to decide the size of my family at this time. After much prayer I have total peace in that decision, to rely on God.

    [Reply]

    Blessedx8 Reply:

    amanda, here are some websites w/ some great large family t-shirts! Check them out! (I’m not affiliated w/ these in any way, just loved the shirts, lol)

    http://www.cafepress.com/evilgeniusstore/1225539

    And my personal favorite:
    http://www.catholicposters.com/shop/product.php?prodId=684&c=32+33+46+

    Enjoy!

    [Reply]

  43. Desiree
    May 17, 2010 | 3:29 pm

    You are amazing! I have 3 very young children, two of my own and one foster. I don’t want anymore at this point. I’m exhausted. I don’t know how you do it!

    [Reply]

  44. Dauna
    May 26, 2010 | 12:42 am

    Love the blog! Just checking it all out!

    As far as Obama’s comment. I *think* he was referring to having a child at 16. In which case I believe that he is right in saying that the child is a punishment. I am VERY prolife, and think that abortion is one way to avoid natural repercussions of things that have been done, which is one reason I am against it. Its almost like erasing a person off the earth like they never existed. And pretending that the person was never made. There is something erie about the thought that the average person has been given the power to do that – if they so choose.

    Anyway, I love your big family.

    [Reply]

  45. HOPE
    June 1, 2010 | 10:30 pm

    kimberly, i just want to thank u for sharing with the world ur beautiful views on chidren. i too dissagree with abortion period. even in the most awful situation. i would never be ok with the idea of terminating a babies life because i was hurt `raped` `young` ect… there is always adoption.let these babies have a chance they r innocent and deserve a chance to be loved and have their time on this earth.

    [Reply]

  46. Deirdre
    June 4, 2010 | 11:54 am

    Thank you for standing up for the truth. You go girl!

    [Reply]

  47. Anita
    June 12, 2010 | 7:17 am

    Kimberley, I love your list! Thanks! I have a book that I got through “Above Rubies” (they have a website) called “Be fruitful and multiply; What the Bible says about having children” and the last chapter includes “101 reasons why to have more children”… it’s beautiful and so joyous!

    [Reply]

  48. Anita
    June 12, 2010 | 7:18 am

    Also I wanted to congratulate and thank you for your wisdom, strength and gentleness in responding to other comments. Just like Jesus 🙂

    [Reply]

  49. Rachel Q
    June 22, 2010 | 1:48 pm

    Just found your site today, and I love it. Our family is large and growing. Many people…even those who love us…don’t understand our decision to have all these children, so it’s really nice to be able to “fellowship” with others who have made the same choice.

    [Reply]

  50. Crystal & Co
    July 5, 2010 | 6:47 pm

    Just found your site and we are a large family too. We have five boys ranging in age of 11 yrs to 15 monhts.

    I love your reasons for a large family. Everytime someone asks my husband ‘you know what causes this don’t you’, his response is always ‘yes, love!’.

    Adding you to my blogroll!

    [Reply]

  51. Kathy
    July 6, 2010 | 1:47 am

    I came across your blog by chance (then again, maybe not) and I just have to say that I would give anything to have the gift that you have for Biblical, spiritual debate. I read this post with such joy that there are Christians like you and your fellow bloggers that have this profound discernment to share God’s Word with such conviction in this troubled world we live in. Thank you for lifting my troubled spirit! You have spoken the words that my blubbering lips have been unable to convey. You have a beautiful family…I look forward to future blogs!

    [Reply]

  52. Racheal
    July 16, 2010 | 4:57 pm

    I would love to be able to have a large family. I had six miscarriages before I had my now 6 year old son and then we were blessed with our now two year old son. It is so wonderful to see someone that obviously enjoys her children, I am always upset when people don’t. Why can someone that doesn’t want their children have them, when there are so many people out there that would LOVE to have them. It is so frustrating!

    [Reply]

    Kara Reply:

    I completely understand where Racheal is coming from…it seems so unfair that so many children are born to those who don’t want them when so many of us would treasure those children! I know there’s a reason…I just don’t understand it yet! 😉

    I also would love to have a large family…as a child, I always wanted at least five children – but secretly wanted 13! 😉 For now, we are very thankful for our 6 year old son. He’s praying for 2 sisters and 2 brothers…so, we’ll see what God says. 😉 I’m 41 now…so it’s all in God’s hands now! 🙂

    [Reply]

    April Reply:

    I wanted a large family as well. Praise the Lord for the 4 healthy ones we have now. I too have had MANY miscarriages,a still birth, and a “Downs” baby who died shortly after birth. Our oldest is almost 19 and our youngest is 4. Our youngest keeps asking for a baby sister and I would love it. However, I will be 43 next month and have had a majority of my miscarriages/chemical pregnancies within the last year…(6)soooo, all we can do is pray if it’s the Lord’s will. My husband is a Pastor and we are overseas missionaries. It is hard to comprehend sometimes as to why some couples seem to have children so easily and they are not wanted and end up abused and neglected. And yet others so desparately want even 1 and they cannot either conceieve or do it with great difficulty and expense. But we know the Lord loves us and whatever He allows in our lives is for our good and for His glory. Kara, may the Lord give you your hearts desire!!

    [Reply]

    RG Reply:

    Sorry to hear of your miscarriages. I have walked that same road. Glad to hear of your blessings too! Thanks for sharing. It isn’t that we have to ‘prevent’ anything. God is the giver of life.

    [Reply]

    Christine Reply:

    This may not be my place as I do not know where you are coming from but taking what you said regarding wanting and desiring a large family – I want to remind those of you out there that it does not necessarily need to be a biological family. I work with children in residential treatment – these are all kids with abusive and neglectful pasts – some so extreme it’s almost unbelievable. These children desire a forever family so badly, so desperately- their entire world depends on it. I won’t sugarcoat things and tell you they are perfect children – they are difficult kids, but more than worthy of someone to love them and care for them. I encourage you and those like you to look into the foster care system because their are millions of children waiting for someone like you.

    [Reply]

  53. […] Reasons We Have a Large Family […]

  54. Gillian
    August 28, 2010 | 2:07 pm

    I love your list! We have 2 kids (a boy and a girl) so ofcourse people think we must be done! I`d love to have lots more though.

    [Reply]

  55. Megank
    September 3, 2010 | 5:29 pm

    Found your blog through a friend. I was reading about your family. My hubby showed me quote from Obama & it was the same quote you have! When he showed me, I couldn’t believe it. Anyways, rock on girl! Rock on!

    [Reply]

  56. Ronee Appleby
    September 4, 2010 | 3:30 am

    lol I love #3 I have a small family of 8 and ppl always ask me if I know what causes this and I always say, yes I really just like my hubby a lot 😉 and I think it maybe the water here! lol

    [Reply]

  57. Anna
    September 7, 2010 | 9:06 am

    Love your blog! It is very encouraging. My husband and I have been married for almost 13 yrs and we have 9 sweet children whom we also homeschool. I believe that the Bible is true when it says that children are a blessing/reward. It saddens me that many people including other Christians think that it is awful we have so many children. It’s not always easy..sometimes its down right crazy in our home lol..but the joy that we receive from our children way surpasses any bad days we may have.

    [Reply]

  58. Lynn
    September 23, 2010 | 1:40 am

    I love it! 🙂 Kids are awesome!

    [Reply]

  59. Rebecca
    October 22, 2010 | 1:01 pm

    WOW, Kimberly, I just found your blog and LOVE it!! It is SO exciting to witness women of God using the gifts He gave them! My gifts are not as of yet quick & gentle responses.

    Thank – you again for being a Godly example!!
    Rebecca

    [Reply]

  60. Joelyn
    October 22, 2010 | 4:38 pm

    I also stumbled upon your blog looking up the rain gutter shelving, and praise God for the family and ministy He has blessed you with! God has recently been stirring a passion in me for adoption, and in this discussion of the precious and valuable gifts that children are, I wanted to just chime in that those gifts aren’t always, and need not always be biological. Might I suggest the fantastic book, Adopted for Life by Russel D. Moore as a starting point to look more at God’s heart for adoption as he has adopted each believer as a son or daughter in His forever family.

    [Reply]

  61. Lisa
    October 23, 2010 | 5:02 pm

    “However, in order for it to be murder that which is destroyed has to be alive.”

    how can cells multiply and continue to create the miracle that becomes that child without being alive? Dead cells do not reproduce. It’s basic science.

    [Reply]

    Katrina Roldan Reply:

    LOL Can’t help but to smile at this response. It’s just so logical…I can’t believe people even dispute it. It is basic science: dead cells do not reproduce. Only “live” ones can. Therefore, a life destroyed, even if only in the dividing-cell stage, is still murder. Oh…the sadness I feel that people just refuse to see this.

    [Reply]

  62. Tanya
    November 22, 2010 | 9:10 am

    You have excellent debating & critical thinking skills. Well done. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this thread and certainly learnt a lot. Such stimulating discussion, thanks again. Although I am not a practicing Christian, or have a large family, I’m off to check the rest of your site!

    [Reply]

  63. Kelsey H.
    November 23, 2010 | 11:44 pm

    Came across your website, what a blessing!!! I am a soon to be first time mommy 🙂 I was told in July of this year that I would probably not be able to get pregnant due to stage 4 Endometriosis. And that if i did get pregnant it would only be after years of medical help. We also have all of the circumstances going that most people consider to be a burden- newlywed on Aug 21 of this year (we were married a whole 2 weeks before getting pregnant, LOL!) unfinished with schooling, no fancy car, or nice house. just 2 young people in love and getting started with our life together. However, i consider it to be an even bigger blessing than if we had the “perfect situation.” We are so blessed to be exactly where we are, as it is only proof that God provides in every circumstance!! We are looking forward to this wonderful baby, and, God willing, many more! Can’t wait to keep up with your posts 🙂

    [Reply]

  64. Norma S
    December 2, 2010 | 2:44 pm

    Love your website :o) I’ve been serving God for 24 years now and the ONLY regret I have is not having had more children! I love my two beautiful daughters (18 and 15) more than I could imagine; but realize now that all the logical reasons that my husband and I had way back when for not having more seem rather insignificant now. I am grateful though, that my daughters are both serving God and will pass His legacy on to their children (and I will encourage my daughters to follow God’s direction as far as the number is concerned!) God bless you and your family
    In Christ
    Norma

    [Reply]

    RG Reply:

    Thank you for your testimony, Norma. It was such a lift to my heart. We only hear pragmatism preached in regards to the number of children where we are, and something about it just doesn’t ring true….

    [Reply]

  65. Sarah
    December 9, 2010 | 1:54 pm

    Thank you for being you and sharing God’s truth. I have read this ENTIRE thread and have a few notes of encouragement myself.

    1) When I was a teenager attending public school I came home from an abortion debate and told my father that I thought abortion was ok if a person was raped. He responded in his God given wisdom by asking me one simple question followed by a short comment. He asked me…”Is it the child’s fault?”…my answer “No”…to which he responded “Then why punish the child with death when you could instead give them life? And if you do not feel that you can be a parent to that child then know that we will parent the child with you and/or support you in a decision to give that child up to a couple who so desire to parent that child. Remember that no situation is too hard to ‘bear’ when God is there to carry you through it. The child should not be punished for it’s creation.”

    I will forever love my father for setting me on the right path with this topic.

    2) I am a mother of 3 children who are now 4, 21 months, and 2 months old. I hope to have more, but like one of your previous readers, am married to a man who was happy with two. LOL. So I am leaving that situation up to God. My husband also said he wanted to be “ready” before we had kids with the right job, finances, etc. I asked him when that would be and he didn’t know. I gently reminded him that we are never really “ready” to be parents, but God is always faithful to “prepare the way for us”. All of my pregnancies had their different complications but the blessing of what was birthed far outweights the challenges faced in the process of their creation and now the process of their growth & development. I would like to encourage other mothers and couples out there to prayerfully let God lead them on this topic.

    3) We are just beginning our journey to home school. When God first challenged me with the idea I scoffed at him, but his urgings and confirmations have been so strong that I am confident this is the path he wants us on even though I feel very challenged about my ability to succeed. Then I remind myself it is not about “success” but about “process”. Not about “doing it right” by the world’s standards but about “doing it right” by God’s standards and with his help/guidance. I am sure I am not alone on this topic.

    4) As we are “gifted” with the task of bringing up the next generation, I am thankful that I serve a loving God who with all my imperfections has bestowed this task upon me. My good friend shared your blog with me on Facebook and I look forward to gleaning from your biblical based wisdom, years of experience, and parallel sense of humor to my own.

    Many blessings!

    [Reply]

  66. Amie
    December 29, 2010 | 4:03 pm

    Thank you so much for this post. I clearly remember the speech in which Obama gave his views on if his daughters were “punished” with a baby and I was so sad he felt that way. Too bad he didn’t say he hoped they wouldn’t be young, unwed and pregnant because of the challenges and hardships it would create.
    Side note: We have a family friend who found their son had fathered a child in his senior year of high school. The friend wanted the girlfriend to have an abortion because they were too young to have a baby and was upset he found out about the pregnancy well into the second trimester…Flash forward 5 years and this grandchild is the light of their lives and they can’t imagine life without him.

    [Reply]

  67. Tikatia Morris
    January 21, 2011 | 10:31 am

    I love your list! I especially love the “we know what causes it” line. I would add to that however, “we know what causes it, and we’re not prepared to stop.” 🙂

    that is one of my most common answers when we hear that a lot, when we’re out with our 6 kiddos.

    [Reply]

  68. Dawn S.
    January 21, 2011 | 2:55 pm

    Thank you for encouraging others. We have 8, going on 9 kids. When we had just 5, complete strangers would come up to us and say extremely rude things right in front of our children. An email list had some of these reason for a large family. It was something that I clung to for many years. Please continue to keep up your ministry to large family moms.

    [Reply]

  69. christa
    February 23, 2011 | 12:17 am

    I came across your website somehow, and I want to encourage your family. Thanks for sharing, I have two precious children and my only regret is that I believed the “me” lies in many ways of our culture. I hadn’t heard of homeschooling yet, and was a new Christian. My dh is from a large family and it was a very bad experience for him, so two was enough for his liking. However, God has richly blessed us in spite of our lack of clear information back then. May people be blessed and encouraged by your testimony

    [Reply]

  70. Rebekah
    March 28, 2011 | 4:58 pm

    I just found your blog and I love it! I am the second of 7 children, and I loved growing up in a big family, and was thankful to have been raised in a godly home. I always wanted to have a large family. My husband on the other hand has only one younger brother. When we met, he wasn’t fond of the idea of having children. He said he wanted one someday, and was afraid that God would “smite” him with one. Through studying the scripture, and the godly counsel of my Grandparents, we came under the conviction that God was in control and life could not come into existence without Him creating it. We have a lot of peace with this, and have found a lot of freedom in our relationship in not having to worry about weather to “try” for a baby, or attempt to prevent pregnancy. My parents are ok with this, but His parents are not thrilled with it. They tell us often, “We had our two children exactly when we wanted them.” and “Please don’t do the whole Catholic thing.” When we got pregnant with our first son, their first Grandchild, the first words we heard from them were, “We thought you were doing something to prevent that.” and with our second, “Don’t you think they are a bit close?” They love their grandsons, but any mention of future children is not received well. A lot of people think that we are crazy and irresponsible, but I very strongly believe that this is God’s will for our lives. It is always encouraging to see other families that believe as we do. My parents got the question “Don’t you know what causes that?” a lot as well. My mom would always just smile and say “Yes, and we like that too!”

    [Reply]

  71. Andrea
    April 6, 2011 | 4:55 pm

    I LOVE this!! I have 5 children (6- 5months) and I totally agree with you. Kids are a HUGE blessing!!
    Thank you for putting it so beautifully!! 🙂

    [Reply]

  72. Bonnie
    May 11, 2011 | 7:27 pm

    My husband and I have been married for 14 years. We have no children and have never done anything to prevent pregnancy. We know God is good, and have known all 14 years that His will is perfect. I love the idea of a couple allowing God to determine the size of a family.

    [Reply]

  73. Frugal Homemaking
    May 18, 2011 | 6:27 am

    To the question of, “You know what causes that, right?”, I would most respectfully reply, “No, tell me about it.” On second thought, there are probably a lot of unabashed people who would share explicit information in front of children, so maybe it’s not a good idea…

    [Reply]

    Lori Reply:

    I always smile a devilish smile and say, “Absolutely! We enjoy it! That’s why we’re pregnant!”

    [Reply]

  74. Hannah
    June 23, 2011 | 10:10 am

    I fully agree with all your reasons to have a large family. What do you do if your husband believes children are more of a burden then a blessing and thinks 2 is more than enough? I’m having a very hard time accepting that as I believe children are a gift from God and I would LOVE to have a large family.

    [Reply]

    JoyFilledMom Reply:

    Prayer trully is life-changing. I am still amazed in the change in my DH heart on certain issues (homeschool, why we homeschool, number of children, movies we allow in hm…) The crazy thing is, DH heart changes on things that I don’t bring up; those issues I just give to God! The Spirit does the transformation.

    [Reply]

    Kimberly @ Raising Olives Reply:

    Submit to your husband’s wishes. The Bible commands wives to submit to their husbands as unto the Lord. After you submit, then pray, pray and pray some more. If it is God’s will to bless you with more children, He will certainly bring your husband to that understanding.

    Blessings to you and your family.

    [Reply]

  75. Misty
    July 3, 2011 | 5:31 pm

    I love your list. We have 5 kids and cant tell you how often I am asked if we know what causes it. Then we are asked the famous question if we are done. Of course I shrug my shoulders and am called crazy. Thanks for sharing this list. Blessings!!

    [Reply]

  76. praise
    July 12, 2011 | 4:25 pm

    just stumbled across ur blog and I love it. I am the 3rd of 6 kids and where im from (nigeria, africa) having 5 or more kids was considered the norm.infact in the olden days( way before i was born) if you had 10 children you were celbrated in your hometown and a cow was slaughetred for you.if you saw a women with 2 kids the conclusion was that she couldnt have more kids medically or that some witch had tied her womb.. well fastforward to my generation where being modern means being westren and 2 family kids are the norm.. I have 3 kids aged 3 to 7 and when i tell people i want one more they think im mad.. someone even said she was shocked cus she thought i was civilized ..this is becasue only the poor people in the villages who dont use birthcontrol n have low birth expectancy that r still having large families..its rare to see a modern, urban educated woman with more than 3 kids.. (i only have 2 friends with 5 kids and about 3 with 4 kids the stares they get! )..I still want one more and i am waiting for my husband to be in agreement with me.His reason for not wanting more is finances but i say..psalm 127 v3children are a gift form God..and the bible says Gods gift maketh rich and addeth no sorrow (prov 10 v 22).I know that with each child God opens the flood gates of his blessings. my good friend had 2 kids and only wanted 1 more..when they found they were expecting twins they were devastated,they felt they couldnt afford it and im sure aborting those babies crossed their minds. Anyway they got over their emotions esp when they saw other families who were trying so hard to get pregnant. To their pleasant surpise as soon as those twins were born their finances blossomed in an extraordinary way, they have a new home and are living in luxury.
    i have another friend who had 3 kids 2 boys and a girl, afetr the girl my friend tied her tubes..well their daughter died mysteriosly . they asked God why did you allow us tie our tubes? God answered? did you seek my will for you..if you had aksed i would have told you not to at that time. lesson learnt let God guide you His will for you may be 3 kids but it may be 8. Sorry for the long post

    [Reply]

    Kimberly @ Raising Olives Reply:

    Don’t apologize for the long post, I loved it. You’re are right, God does give wisdom to those who earnestly seek His will.

    [Reply]

  77. Diane
    August 3, 2011 | 12:33 am

    What a great list! I have six from 9 to 18 mo. and have been hearing: “What a big family,” and “Aren’t you done yet?” ever since we had our third baby. I even heard “Now you have a girl, you can be done,” after number three, from my grandma! Of course, with three of each, everyone says, “What a nice even number.” As if one more, and an odd number of children or a different boy/girl ratio would make them fight more and get along less. What nonsense.

    But funny things do happen too, like this summer on our camping trip. We took them all to play one afternoon at the shore of a lake, and I was approached by a mom who said, “You have six kids? Do you homeschool?” “Yes, we just started a couple years ago and we love it!” Of course she was a fellow homeschooling mom at the lake for her weekly Bible study with some other homeschooling moms. That was a fun conversation. I guess my point is that large families definitely get some negative, rude or even hurtful comments, but it sure makes it easier to find some “kindred spirits!” And that’s one of the fun parts!

    [Reply]

  78. Melissa @ Dyno-mom
    August 3, 2011 | 6:04 pm

    How wonderfully refreshing you are! I saw your comment over at Kitchen Stewdardship and I felt such peace at your comment as I got riled up over the topic. I also have ten kids, also homeschool, and also have my girls in the self-same modest swimsuits as yours! People need to see healthy, happy successful large families or they will always live in fear of God’s gift. Thank you for being a voice of reason in a hostile world. May God continue to bless your beautiful family!

    [Reply]

  79. Melissa @ Dyno-mom
    August 3, 2011 | 6:05 pm

    Wait a minute…you knit TOO! Oh my heck, I like you more every minute!

    [Reply]

    Kimberly @ Raising Olives Reply:

    Thank you Melissa. It’s nice to ‘meet’ you.

    I should say that I used to knit. I’ve done very little knitting since little one was born. I suspect that it will take another baby (and the accompanying morning sickness) to give me more knitting time. 🙂

    [Reply]

  80. Christy
    August 19, 2011 | 1:38 pm

    We’re expecting our 6th child and have had the same questions asked of us “don’t you know how to prevent that?” or “You do know how this keeps happening”, and our response is “yes and we obviously enjoy it! Don’t you?” I was shortly after our 3rd child that we were to fully and completely leave the size of our family in God’s hands, 6 months later my husband was also convicted. I am so thankful for each and every blessing, it’s always wonderful to find other families with the same convictions.

    [Reply]

  81. Cassi
    August 29, 2011 | 3:33 pm

    I hope this comes across right. I am a Mom of 1 and so many times there is judgement in those who have a quiver full.
    Your post here on why you have many. Was GREAT! So positive without judging. And funny. Thank you

    I found your blog while looking on how to make chalkboard paint. Which you also described very well.

    [Reply]

    Kimberly @ Raising Olives Reply:

    Thank you Cassi.

    Just for the record, our definition of ‘quiverfull’ doesn’t necessarily include a large family. We simply believe in being content with the children that God gives to us. For some that may mean being content with one child, for others being content with 19. The point is to take God’s view of children, that they are a blessing and to be faithful with what He entrusts to us.

    Blessings.

    [Reply]

    JoyFilledMom Reply:

    Beautifully put, Kimberly. God has blessed you with such eloquent writing! I feel the same way.

    [Reply]

    Ruth Reply:

    THANK YOU so much for this portion of the discussion. I have 3 girls ages 11, 9 and 5. My heart desired a “big” family from a young age (I have one little sister only) and always thought 5 sounded like the perfect number. For medical and personal reasons we needed to stop having biological children after #3. I’m praying that God will lay on my husband’s heart the desire to adopt.

    So many in this thread talk about judgement from others about the large number of children in a family… sometimes its hard not to feel judged about NOT having a large family while reading blogs and books by people who do.

    The important point needs to be following God’s will for YOUR family and raising kids who love the Lord and will do the same someday with their own family.

    [Reply]

  82. Cassi
    August 29, 2011 | 3:37 pm

    Ok one more comment 🙂
    It’s so funny how judgemental the world is. Reading the other comments now. I hear the judgement you face to. From a Mom of 1, I hear so much when are you having another… from the second our daughter was born.
    Why can’t we Moms get along??!
    In reading blogs like this I think there is a chance we can.

    [Reply]

  83. Jenni
    September 14, 2011 | 9:38 am

    LOVE this! We just had our first little one and received a rather snide comment about getting pregnant again too soon from my OB when we told her we weren’t going to use anything for family planning. Needless to say, I’m going to be finding a new dr (probably a midwife) if/when I get pregnant again! 🙂

    [Reply]

  84. Tiffany
    October 17, 2011 | 3:45 pm

    I just stumbled on your website via a link from a friend…so great. We have 3 bio kids, just adopted a 4th from Ethiopia and hope to adopt more…people already look at us like we have three heads and all the time we get, “Five? Really.” So neat to see families who a lot more kids, truly get it and are living well with large families! Love the site!

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  85. Christina Nicolle
    October 18, 2011 | 12:22 pm

    Love your family and blog I am now prego with #5 God has blessed us. We had a visectomy after #3 but God convicted us and we had it undone and now we have added two more blessing. What a joy we are still in our early thirtys and look forward to more. even in a world that dose not understand. We have been told that it is because we don’t have a TV and we need one.:)

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  86. Rachael Joy
    December 18, 2011 | 7:41 pm

    Wow. I just found your site while looking for silk flower headband tutorials, lol. I’m so excited I found you! I have 5 & 2 yr boys and a 4 day old baby girl. I’m the oldest of 7 and LOVE coming from a large family. My hubby came from a small famiy, but has fallen in love with my large one too ;0) I was homeschooled through middle and high school and enjoyed it so much that my hubby and I have decided to homeschool as well! I look forward to continuing to follow your site!

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  87. Cheryl
    January 3, 2012 | 3:02 pm

    Wow. All I can say is my husband and I are thankful for the “punishment” of our child who we had in high school at the age of 17. God has stretched us and grown us and taught us so much though that trial by fire. What was meant for evil He used for His good.

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  88. Shannon
    January 5, 2012 | 9:13 am

    I LOVE all your reasons! Well said! Don’t you just hate when people ask you if you know what causes “it”? I have told people in the past, “Yes, and that’s why I do it!”. Most of the time they just shut up and walk away. My husband was running for town commissioner, and he had a lady tell him she didn’t apperciate us having so many kids. She said that each family should have only one, becauce they are taking up too much of the resource. I told him he should have told her if she felt that way then she should just move to China! Glad to see there are still those out there who believe in Biblical truths!!! 🙂

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  89. Sarah
    January 7, 2012 | 1:41 am

    Encouraging! I come from a family of 5 which that got a lot of cracks/comments. Over the past several years God has been placing it on my heart to have a large family. I just had my first LO in July. I love her so much and want more! My husband isn’t on board with any more than 3-4 kids. He comes from a family of just him and his brother. I’m praying that both he and I will be able to discern and listen to his calling on our life. The other week I was at a party and a family with 12-15 (I can’t remember now) kids was there and it made me so happy. 😀

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  90. Becky
    January 22, 2012 | 11:51 am

    i watched the entire clip of what Obama said… thank you for sharing. i have to say, that while i understand his point of view, i think it was a poor choice of words. the clip didnt really show the question he was answering, but i think it would have made sense if the rest of his statement started talking about teaching kids about safe sex and educating them on their options IN CASE they choose to have sex before they are married. unfortunately, i dont know what the question was, and where he was going with his answer, but it does sound rather strange. especially after calling his own children miracles and then referring to them having kids early a punishment *shakes head sadly* my husband and i have not been blessed with a child yet, though we pray for it often, and it breaks my heart to hear people speak of children as anything but wonderful gifts from God…

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  91. Eugenia
    January 23, 2012 | 10:11 am

    I wanted to thank you for posting all of this great information and encouragement! I am married to a Sailor and we have 4 kids, 3 boys-9,7&4 and a baby girl-19 months. I know that is not much in comparison but it has become more than I can handle at times. I get up with my husband at 0330 to see him off and usually go back to bed, but in desperation I picked up my bible to look for answers and did an google search for how to manage multiple kids. Praise God, I found you. I recently left active duty military to become a stay at home mom/full time student/reservist. I tell ya, it is WHOLE LOT more work than I ever anticipated. Your site will be bookmarked and visited often. I have found encouragement and even took notes of some of your tips (like how to go out with littles) I have been thinking about homeschooling but am afraid that I will not have the patience for my children, I always expect so much more from my own than I ever would anyone elses (not sure why 🙁 ) Anyhow, if you have any tips on how to juggle my college status and thier elementary status that would be oh so helpful! Again, THANK YOU!

    [Reply]

  92. Lori
    February 16, 2012 | 1:32 am

    When God was dealing with me about trusting Him with the size of our family, my husband was a little unsure. I prayed about it and about 24 hours later, his whole mindset had changed! So much so that when I have had my times of doubting, he is the one who encourages me. His thoughts are, “If Christ is the bridegroom and we are the bride, souls are born out of a relationship with Him! We would never turn away souls in a church because we aren’t prepared for them, or we don’t have enough money,etc. That would be absurd! Babies are born out of a relationship. Why would we turn that blessing away for those same reasons? Isn’t our relationship supposed to mirror that of Christ and the church?” WOW! God sure can get His point across in 24 hours!
    My concern is, I have had to have C-sections for all three of mine. (Ages 4,3,and 2-The oldest is about to be 5) Sometimes it’s hard to trust that God knows all of that and has it all in control. It seems easier to believe when you’re not facing surgery and not sure how many times you can have a C-section. Comments are welcome, encouragement especially welcome.

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  93. Anita
    February 16, 2012 | 11:37 pm

    Lori what an awesome thought!! I’m so thrilled to read that! The Above Rubies (www.aboverubies.org) magazine had an article in it recently about a lady who has had many, many caesareans… each time she has wanted to go natural but hasn’t been able to, but she hasn’t had any side-effects and I think she had 12 c-sections? That might not be right, but it was definitely more than the 3 the docs say are possible.
    A girlfriend of mine says that the reason the docs say that is because most of them have never seen more than that and so don’t know what the risk factors could possibly be.
    I know that when God sends the child, he will also take care of all our needs associated with that child, childbirth included 🙂 xxxx

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  94. Lori
    February 18, 2012 | 1:13 pm

    Thank you Anita! I read both articles on the Above Rubies website and found them very encouraging. I believe God knows what He is doing, I struggle sometimes with wanting to “help/control” in more areas than just this. I think that is why God has put us on an all-encompassing journey of trusting Him. Isn’t God good, to customize our relationships with Him? Thank you again for the encouragement!

    [Reply]

    Anita Reply:

    You’re very welcome Lori! I totally get where you’re coming from, I share the same struggle. Obviously God needs MY help to run the universe 😛 LOL But I am amazed at the growth I am forced to undergo by allowing God to choose our family size/timing. And I have found that when I trust His wisdom on that above my own, I also have to trust His wisdom on every other area of my life or it won’t work. The wonderful thing is that He always has the perfect answer. He is so faithful! 😀 xxxx

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  95. jason
    February 20, 2012 | 9:03 am

    I have a relative with growing family like this, 5 kids and counting. i just don’t understand why though? don’t you get all the joys and love of kids you mentioned from the first 4 kids or so?

    [Reply]

    Kimberly @ Raising Olives Reply:

    So let me try to understand you. Is it that you don’t believe that our fifth child, Carter Jackson, who is now 10 years old has added any joy and love to our lives? Or is it that you think that we don’t deserve or shouldn’t desire any more joy and love than what we can get from 4 children?

    Do you limit the number of friends and/or family members that you stay in contact with because more people don’t add anything else to your life than what the first several can give?

    [Reply]

  96. kimberly
    March 12, 2012 | 7:41 pm

    Thanks for sharing! I found your blog a few months ago during a “break-down” season (aka, tell kids to go play in their rooms while I search the internet as to how other moms of young kids survive) You’re blog has been so helpful, and I’m tempted to send a link to my grandmother who thinks we’re crazy for having 5 kids in 6 years (about to give birth to #5 next month).

    [Reply]

  97. Maggie
    March 13, 2012 | 2:34 pm

    World domination is my favorite! I think that is how i’m going to announce our number 6 when I get pregnant next time.

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  98. Monique
    March 25, 2012 | 12:38 pm

    Hi love your blog parent of 1 (right now, would like 3 and still trying to convince hubby) and would just like to encourage you in what God has revealed to you regarding children. While I know and love the Lord with all my heart, having more than 4 would be too much for me. I believe every gift from God is perfect and adds no sorrow but for me, having more than 4 would be adding sorrow to our lives. But just because we don’t want as many doesn’t mean that I have a snide remark. You’re doing a FABULOUS job of caring for your family. And we will be homeschooling too except that it’ll be me working and my hubby staying home.

    [Reply]

  99. Tess
    March 27, 2012 | 12:39 pm

    Hi! I stumbled across your blog while looking for tips and advice on raising little ones. I have two, ages almost 3 and 13 months (and maybe #3 on the way?), and I feel overwhelmed most of the time. Your blog, as well as Life in a Shoe, have been extremely helpful to me, so thank you for the ministry that God has placed on your heart! We live in the digital age, and a lot of us young moms out there don’t have people around us who can encourage us and help us along the way. So it’s awesome to be able to look up a blog and get tips and advice and support. I’m on my way to becoming the mother I want to be, and I’m really looking forward to (along with a great amount of fear and trepidation!) homeschooling my amazing munchkins! Thanks for your faithfulness and obedience! You’ve been a blessing to me, as well as a lot of the other ladies who have commented! I’m looking forward to a large family – and looking forward to including some adopted blessings as well!

    [Reply]

    Anita Reply:

    Hi Tess, just know that in my humble opinion, you are in the hardest time right now! I now have 4 children, 5 years old and under and already it is much easier than just a toddler and a baby!
    Know that whatever time and energy you put into training your children in first-time obedience and helping around the house with simple chores will reap vast dividends even in the coming few years! I am so grateful now for the hard yards I’ve put in with my oldest two (5 and 3), they are such a great help to me now and my 5-year-old especially is my right-hand man, I truly don’t think I could cope as well without his help now. 🙂 xxxx

    [Reply]

  100. Linda from Georgia
    March 31, 2012 | 11:59 pm

    I am so thrilled to find your blog again — the computer crashed! I’m nearly 70 so won’t be having any more. However, I have been thinking about families with a lot of children ever since I discovered quiverful families. The world needs citizens who are Kingdom minded, know what it means to walk in the blessings of the Lord, and can prosper. You are influencing generations to come and enhancing your communities. Just think what your home-schooled, christ-minded children will do for our nation. Thanks.

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  101. Jennifer
    April 11, 2012 | 9:51 pm

    We have 8 kids, and get asked questions all the time. I LOVE #2 on your list. #3, we’ve figured out the answer, too… toothbrushes. We keep them too close together. 😉

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  102. Laura
    April 16, 2012 | 4:44 pm

    My husband and I are unable to have children, and I find it beautiful and blessed how well you do with yours. May God bless you and your family for many years to come!

    [Reply]

    candy Reply:

    My husband & I have been been married 19 years and we adopdted a sibling group of 4 kids (ages 7,8, 10 & 13). If you have a hearts desire to have children, you might consider adoption. They are our kids and God entrusted us with them. If you are content, than that’s great. However, if you think you ‘cannot have kids’ you are wrong about that. You can have kids. There are tens of thousands of kids ‘waiting for forever families’ in the US and around the world. If you go within your state foster care system, it is FREE to adopt. So do not let expense scare you either. It’s not for everyone, but we decided to pray about it and God made it clear to us; me first and then my sweet husband a little later. Our friends think we are ‘crazy’ to go from 0-4 kids over night. I say ‘crazy can be fun!!” Love this site and planning on using yummy recipes

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  103. Casie Summerfield
    April 16, 2012 | 6:01 pm

    I just stumbled upon this blog, and it is wonderful! We have 4 children, and people make all the same ridiculous comments to us as well. Thank you for loving your children out loud!! 🙂

    [Reply]

    Katie Reply:

    Four is not a lot of kids!!!!!!!!! I think the post above was more about familys with at least 6. Hahaha

    [Reply]

    JoyFilledMom Reply:

    When I had four, I received a bunch of negative comments. When I had five, a few people would say “congrats” and literally turn around and comment to another person that I was crazy. Now I’m pregnant with number six, I haven’t had negative comments yet. I just keep telling people that I am blessed again.

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  104. Darwin
    April 17, 2012 | 1:53 pm

    Kimberly! I love your blog and love this post. We’re at three kids and God blessed us with another one due in November.

    [Reply]

  105. Lori
    April 17, 2012 | 1:54 pm

    So we just announced that we are expecting our fourth. We got the excited Congratulations – from friends. Family was not as excited (more concerned about our finances and stress). I had to remember that their initiall reaction is never the same as when the baby gets here. I still get tired of the intrusive questions like, “Are you done now?” and “You know what causes that, don’t you?” and “Was this an accident?” But I try to remember that none of these comments are actually made with malicious intent. It helps to just be prepared for the worst reactions and enjoy the good reactions.

    [Reply]

    Melony Reply:

    @Lori-When they ask you if you know what causes new babies, just say “An amazingly loving marriage and a happy family who is extremely blessed.” That should make them be quiet right away without you having to be rude or anything. I am happy that you all love your kids. I only have one for now but I love her more then myself.

    [Reply]

    Lori Reply:

    BTW UPDATE! – We found out that #4 is actually #4 and #5!!!

    [Reply]

    Mimi Reply:

    Congratulations!

    [Reply]

    JoyFilledMom Reply:

    CONGRATULATIONS!

    [Reply]

  106. Lyette Reback
    May 1, 2012 | 3:54 pm

    As a mom to 13 (#14 due in September) I love this list. We homeschool, and we are doing our Utmost for His Highest! Love your blog, glad to have found you! Please come visit me at http://www.believewithme.com and let’s chat!

    [Reply]

  107. JM
    June 4, 2012 | 12:33 am

    Lovely post 🙂 I would encourage all parents of large families to remember something…when you see other Christian parents without large families, please do not judge them. The therapy that God blessed us with to save my husband’s life also made him sterile, and I have health problems of my own. We are wonderful parents to the two children we have been blessed with and long to have more. I have been hurt deeply by the superior attitudes of some Christians I know who believe that the number of their children means God is exceedingly pleased with them and it’s somehow a reward for their holiness…and that people like us who have been told we will never have another child are somehow being punished for sin in our lives or in a generation before us. That is simply not the truth of God’s word and the grace of Jesus (who takes away ALL of our sin!) and so I just want to entreat you all to never judge before you know. Most Christian families with many children understand this, but like I said, great pain has been caused by those who treat others as inferior or assume that they are disobedient to God. We are just hoping for a miracle.

    [Reply]

    Lori Reply:

    Well said! Unfortunately “well-meaning” people aren’t always aware of how their comments affect others. This applies to those with many children, few children, no children and many others circumstances. I have a friend who was blessed with a beautiful little girl after they thought her hubby was left sterile from chemo. Keep the faith and always be thankful for the ones you have already been blessed with. (I know that you are!)

    [Reply]

    Melissa Reply:

    I’m so sorry you have been hurt by others in this way and I think this reminder is so needful. Those of us that have larger families are not at all more spiritual or more obedient and anyone who believes that needs to be cautious of pride setting in. Gods path for each of us is a different one and each path equally good.

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  108. OFO
    July 3, 2012 | 2:49 pm

    In fairness, I don’t think Obama meant he didn’t like babies. I think he meant that he didn’t want his daughters to have a baby out of wedlock.

    And I think you knew that, too. Don’t misrepresent. Your arguments are strong enough without that.

    [Reply]

    Amy Reply:

    What Obama meant was that he didn’t want his children to have babies when they are too young to handle the children. She is not misrepresenting the fact that Obama believes children to be a burden.

    [Reply]

    Kimberly @ Raising Olives Reply:

    I did not say that Obama didn’t like babies or that he meant he didn’t like babies. However, he clearly said that he would view a baby, that one of his daughters conceived out-of-wedlock, as a punishment.

    I merely use his statement to demonstrate the thinking of our current culture. Does our culture view children as blessings or burdens? (I’m not asking whether we ‘like’ babies.)

    Do we seek after, work toward and pray for the blessing of many children? Or do we manage it so that we don’t have too many. Do we prevent children until after we’ve made certain that we will be able to bear the burden that the child will bring to our family?

    Do we communicate to teens that children are a wonderful gift from God or do we tell them that babies will ruin their lives and spoil their careers?

    Trust me. I get comments nearly every time that I’m out with my children that demonstrate that the majority of our culture does not view children as blessings.

    Comments like,

    “The two I have drive me crazy.”
    “Better you than me.”
    “I would shoot myself if I had that many.”
    etc.

    And then there is the whole “child free” movement that is gaining in popularity.

    No, I don’t believe that Obama doesn’t like babies, but I also don’t believe that His view toward children mirrors the biblical view of children.

    “Lo, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are the children’s of ones youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them. He will not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gates.”

    And they blessed Rebekah and said unto her, “Thou art our sister; be thou the mother of thousands of millions; and let thy seed possess the gate of those who hate them.”

    [Reply]

    Katie Reply:

    God bless you for sharing your faith & love with everyone 🙂 I believe you’ve got those ‘virtuous woman’ traits, for sure. Thank you so much for sharing all that you do!!!

    [Reply]

  109. Jenika
    August 9, 2012 | 10:23 pm

    Thanks for your site…honestly, I never dreamed I would be visiting a such a site, but I sit here pregnant with #4…terrified, really. Thrilled, content, and feeling powerfully blessed, but I would be lying if I didn’t admit to feeling overwhelmed. Doing laundry today, gearing up for another year of homeschooling (totally LOVE home education!), also thinking of my part time job as a nurse…and knowing that the work at home is going to drastically increase in weeks…I know God is bigger than all of it, but wowsers…I am feeling overwhelmed.

    Maybe…having a fourth now tips us over into the larger family category…it’s not 11, but it’s not 2 either.

    Thanks again for sharing…my boys are sporting adorable haircuts in part due to your tutorial!!!

    [Reply]

    Darwin Reply:

    Jenika, we’re also expecting number four and we also feel a bit overwhelmed. Our oldest is starting Kinder and we’re doing it at home! Also, because of #4 I’ll have to shelf my part time as a photographer for now. And, since I’m the stay at home parent/dad and that comes with it’s own set of challenges. But God always takes care of us and we’ve needed him in the past and he’s always come through. I can’t imagine the challenges, frustration, and grief we’d have if we didn’t have Him in our lives. My wife always calls on our marriage graces, I always forget about that, and it pulls us through. AND I’m whole heartedly reveling in the fact that we’re crossing over in to the “larger” family category. When you can’t fit all your kids in your compact car you’ve finally hit the big leagues.

    [Reply]

    Jenika Johnson Reply:

    Thanks so much for your reply. 🙂

    Of course, you are totally right. We are excited…both of us…but, I guess at this point in the game, having been through babyhood three other times, we know how HARD it can be!

    So, yes, we are relying on God’s grace, because He is the only way, and my trepidation IS clearing the path for more prayer!

    Blessings to you and yours!

    [Reply]

  110. Donna
    August 10, 2012 | 1:28 pm

    I recently stumbled across your website and I love it. I was only blessed with 1 grown up son whom I homeschooled while working full time. I love your natural, homemade, nontoxic and money saving ideas. Please keep them coming! God Bless!

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  111. Carol
    August 26, 2012 | 9:24 pm

    Love this! My answer is usually, God told me too and since He is all knowing, I figure I better just do as I’m told…and we only have two kids and one on the way…kind of sad that three kids is considered a large family?!

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  112. Danielle
    August 27, 2012 | 11:27 am

    I was with a friend who has 4 and I have 3, another child was lingering with our children so it looked like we had 8 together. We were standing in line to order ice cream and this young girl, probably 15 who was with “traditional family”- (mom, dad, brother, sister) stood there and talked about us and basically was of the thought “what were we thinking?” I heard her say don’t they know how much kids cost and that one day they have to provide them with car insurance and cars. I was sadden for her the cultural influence on families over two kids is unbelievable. We have 3 for now and the comments and looks that I get are unbelievable. This young girl is going to miss out on great joys if she believes that material possessions out way that of family and the love between siblings.
    Sadly, parenting is seen as lowly and not successful. It is hard, long work and our rewards are forthcoming and the lack of worldly ones is ok with me.
    God bless all and may our faith and efforts move mountains.

    [Reply]

  113. Michelle
    August 27, 2012 | 10:39 pm

    Hi, I just read your most recent birth story. Beautiful! When I was young I wanted tons of children. We have three, one is nearly 2, one went to be with the Lord after only 6 weeks in the womb, and one is on the way. After caring for one child I have become fearful of failure. My number one goal is to raise Godly children. This is such a challenge in our society that I fear if we have too many children my chances for them being Godly go down. Have you ever faced fears like this? It has made me strongly consider stopping after this child. I was just looking to hear your thoughts and experience.

    [Reply]

    stacy Reply:

    Dear Michelle,

    Have you had your baby?

    I’ve never tried to summarize the thing I’m most passionate about into a blog reply so please bear with me. 🙂

    I have 4 kids (ages 7,4,3 & 1) and I’m hoping to have more. Up until about 2 months ago I had the same thoughts that you are describing. My fears stopped as I discovered the world of homeschooling. I really feel that God has opened my eyes to a completely new culture… a biblical culture that he can create in my home. You mentioned your #1 goal (which is the same as mine) To raise Godly children. For me the more kids I have the more I see what that Godly outcome might look like and it’s easier for me to show my kids that we are different and that different is a good thing. I know some people have raised amazingly Godly children in a small family setting and I’m certainly not discounting that. In fact I applaud them because that actually seems more challenging to me.

    I just want to encourage you with the fact that in my experience (which I understand is limited) things have actually become easier. Of course I am still constantly seeing things that I can change for the better.

    I think you and I could probably talk for hours about these fears and the truths that can squelch them [the fears] and I’m open to that if you want. I could write a whole list of how having more kids has encouraged all of us to grow in our relationship with God but there’s probably not room for that here. “Iron sharpens Iron” pretty much sums it up.

    [Reply]

    JoyFilledMom Reply:

    That was beautifully stated.

    [Reply]

    Erin Reply:

    I love your encouragment! I have 3 daughters with plans of having our 4th child in the next year, Lord willing, and your reply as well as the initial post have both been such an encouragement to me, as my husband and I have recently been convicted to have a larger family. I feel blessed to be able to have children so easily, and Homeschooling has opened my eyes to not being afraid of doing so. I feel God laid it upon my heart as a young child, the desire to have many children, but growing up in this world teaches you basically that there will never be enough money, or enough time, or enough love to have multiple children. Our decision to Homeschool (we are in our very first year!) has been the best thing that ever happened to us, and has made me realize all of the wonderful opportunities that Christian families still have. The world is a sad place, but as a Christian, I believe we should try to raise as many Godly people as possible. 🙂

    [Reply]

  114. Dani
    October 1, 2012 | 2:44 pm

    Thanks for this post. I really have a heart for more children and so does my hubby. It didn’t start out that way for me (though he always thought 4 or more would be nice.) Before God saved me and when I was expecting my first, I was so scared and even wished I could miscarry or something. I was so selfish and I am ashamed of the person I once was. Thank God for His grace and salvation. I actually never really saw my son as a blessing until God saved me around the time my first was 1. Then, I realized I wanted more children. Maybe as many as God would give me. I go back and forth between trusting the amount that God gives and being cautious and at least a little practical.

    I have 3 beautiful children now, ranging from 16 months to 5 and a half years.

    Last month I gave in and wanted to let God lead the amount of kids we would have once again. I felt like I was pregnant right away and found out a couple weeks later that I was right. I was so excited to be expecting a 4th and thought with such early symptoms, maybe even a 5th??? but sadly, last week I started spotting. I took another test and the line was *barely* there on the sensitive strip test and no longer showing on the slightly less sensitive “answer” test that was showing a pretty obvious (but not dark) positive line a few days earlier. I knew that I was miscarrying. It was heart breaking and it made me realize that I really don’t want to wait to have more kids. I do however think we’ll use hormone free methods to prevent for a couple months so I can heal and up mine and hubby’s vitamins and hopefully we can get pregnant again, Lord willing. I’m only 27 – so there’s a good chance. This is my first loss and it really hurts. I’m still in the process of miscarrying and I’m so sad and disappointed, but so grateful to God for taking care of me and my husband through this. I’m grateful to God that I found out I am not sensitized (rH- with rH+ hubby.) So, that will not keep me from having more. I now have in my mind to have maybe 6 or more kids if God wills it, but I really hope for at least 1-2 more. I just love our children!!! LOVE LOVE LOVE them! And I agree. This world just doesn’t get it. They’ve been trained to view kids as a burden and a problem. I only see them as a blessing now. Days can be tough at times, but it is SO worth it. God has used my children to mature and grow me in my faith more than anything else I think.
    We don’t have to have many things to teach our children to follow God and to provide for them just enough. They don’t need college funds, cars, toys out the wazoo, lots of activities (outside the home), etc. They just need their family’s love and care.
    Praise the Lord always!

    [Reply]

  115. Marilyn
    October 6, 2012 | 1:14 pm

    I love children. But I also love my career in medicine and believe that being a doctor is part of my calling in this world. Their is NO WAY I could have a whole slew of kids and still have a career. NO WAY. Because it would be impossible for me to give to them what they need and also keep my promises to my patients and community. And those promises are important! One does not become a doctor and then one day just toss the DECADES of education and hard work out the window in exchange for a houseful of kids. That just isn’t done! I have 3 wonderful children and a great career and I hope with all my heart that my kids have similarly fulfilling lives. I think that Obama’s perspective is like my own — and I entirely support his views. He wants his daughters to seek education, and I suspect careers, before they have children. I admire him for wanting his daughters to meet their full potential academically and professionally. It is not that he finds children abhorrent, but that he wants his daughters to have children when they are ready to have children and not before. I’m sure he would welcome as many grandchildren as they want to have, when they are ready to have them. A good plan!

    [Reply]

    Kimberly @ Raising Olives Reply:

    Hi Marilyn,

    Thank you for taking the time to comment.

    I never said that Obama (or our society in general) doesn’t love his children, doesn’t want grandchildren or views children as abhorrent. I said that and our society in general does not view children as blessings (and I believe Obama’s comment reflects that).

    I think our disagreement comes in our understanding of the word ‘blessing’.

    The Webster 1828 defines blessing in this manner:

    Any means of happiness; a gift, benefit or advantage; that which promotes temporal prosperity and welfare, or secures immortal felicity.

    A blessing promotes our happiness, prosperity and welfare. A blessing is a benefit or advantage.

    If Obama believed that children were a blessing, then it makes no sense for him to say “punished with a child”. How can something that brings happiness, benefit, and advantage and promotes our prosperity and welfare be equated with punishment?

    You and Obama may view certain children as mostly a blessing or you may consider certain aspects of a child a blessing, but your words (and his) convey that children are a considerable burden (the opposite of blessing) and that in many (most?) cases they are not even worth having because they would ruin or make more difficult those things that you seem to view as your ‘true’ blessings; career, monetary wealth, education, personal fulfillment, etc.

    Our God tells us that,

    Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.

    As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth.

    Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them:

    This is what we believe and rather than running after the ‘rewards’ of the world; wealth, education and career, we will gratefully accept and find our fulfillment in the rewards, benefits or advantages that God chooses to send to us, because we believe this is the only place that we will find true fulfillment. Ecc. 5:10 and Matthew 6:24

    May God bless you as you seek to serve Him.

    [Reply]

    Diane Reply:

    Amen! So nicely stated.

    [Reply]

    Jennifer D. Reply:

    Isn’t Obama talking about why he supports abortion? So, O thinks that it is important for his daughter to be able to abort her baby if she is irresponsible, makes ‘a mistake, and gets pregnant before she is ‘ready’. Therefor it is very logical to come to the conclusion that he thinks that in certain circumstances at least, a child is not a blessing but a burden or ‘punishment.’

    The original post was why she has a big family. She considers every child in any circumstance a blessing. That is her point of view. It would not matter to her the timing, career issues, financial hardship etc…. She would rejoice in the pregnancy and the child. That is not being judgmental, just how she personally feels.

    Another thing…becoming a doctor and all that entails then purposefully deciding to give all that up to become a mother of a large family is done. I have a friend who did just that. Her husband put her through medical school. After that she worked while he got his degree. Then she closed her practice and became a crunchy, homeschooling, stay at home mom of 6…all planned….on purpose. If anything happens to him or if she wants to return to work in the future, she has her degree to support herself and her family.

    I don’t think there is anything wrong with having none, just one, three, six or twenty. You should follow the path G-d leads you down, which is different for everyone. Just replying to certain points that were made.

    We happen to have a large family (expecting number 9 any day) and love the post. I get so many comments/criticisms that it is good to have a funny comeback or to just read this and know that someone else understands. Thanks for the laugh!

    [Reply]

  116. Marilyn
    October 9, 2012 | 6:20 pm

    Well, I can see we don’t understand the world or even our religion in the same way. But surely one can regard children as blessings AND still see that having children too young or without thought to family planning or carelessly or irresponsibly is a bad idea. (I am not implying this is you, BTW. And I am not advocating for abortion.) Women can take responsibility for their lives, AND their contribution to the world, in more ways than just childbearing and child-rearing. I do not want my daughters to get pregnant before they are in happy marriages and, ideally, before they have established some goals for themselves. Which is not to say I think they ought to wait until they are in their 30s like I did — I regret that decision, since getting pregnant was very difficult for us. Nor will I be upset if they choose to have large families — no, I would be thrilled! But I want them to know and realize ALL the ways they can contribute to this world — because, in fact, that is the first part of being a good Christian, since we walk on this earth before we go anywhere else — before they embark on pregnancy, motherhood. As I am sure you would agree, motherhood is not a small undertaking!

    I don’t want my girls to be burdened by motherhood if they are not ready for it, for in my 45 years I have noticed that women who feel burdened are NOT good mothers. I am not saying motherhood is a detestable drag — only that it is SOOO important as to warrant thought and a mind/body dedication before jumping in. (I assume this is what Obama meant, but I cannot speak for him.)

    Please do not accuse those of us who sought higher education and a career as ignoring some message from God. You do not know me, and should not judge my dedication to medicine negatively. I’m in it because I love it and I feel it is my calling. But I don’t leave things to chance. I felt I was supposed to be a doctor, so I worked my tail off and went to medical school and residency. I wanted to be a mother but we practiced birth control during residency so as to not have children before I could be around to care for them. Then we got pregnant (God helped a lot). Sometimes my career challenges my ability to be the mom I want to be, but it has not proven impossible. My three kids are thriving and wonderful people. If ever I find I cannot do both, I will stop practicing medicine.

    My quiver is full with 3. I don’t think that means God favors me less than he favors you. I do think it means God has a use for me that is different than His use for you. And that is OK. I want my daughters to realize their purpose of this Earth, whatever it may be.

    [Reply]

    Kimberly @ Raising Olives Reply:

    But surely one can regard children as blessings AND still see that having children too young or without thought to family planning or carelessly or irresponsibly is a bad idea.

    Remember that the children that people may have “too young” or “without thought to family planning” are actual people, not some theoretical item. So it’s as I stated in my previous comment, you view certain, specific children to be blessings, but other individual children (ones conceived at a time that’s inconvenient to the mother) as curses or at the least an inconvenience. We believe the Bible teaches that every individual is a blessing and we believe that God does not ‘accidentally’ create a person that will be a curse (or inconvenience). 🙂

    [Reply]

  117. Morgan
    November 1, 2012 | 3:45 pm

    Those children ARE actual people! Yes! That is why we should think of THEM! If you were them, wouldn’t you want to born into a good, stable family that’s ready for them? I would! It’s selfish to have them otherwise!

    [Reply]

    Kimberly @ Raising Olives Reply:

    So is it your opinion that every adopted person would have been better off never being born?

    Is it your opinion that the world would be better off without any of those people who were born into families that weren’t “good”, “stable” and “ready for them”?

    And do you believe that God sometimes makes mistakes and sends babies to these types of families when really the baby, the family and the world would be better if they’d never been created?

    Our family believes that each individual that God in His almighty mercy and wisdom creates is a blessing, but I realize that many people disagree with us on this issue.

    [Reply]

  118. Nancy
    December 10, 2012 | 12:53 am

    I agree 100% with you that no matter the circumstance every child is a blessing. We have 7. My first was out of wedlock I was 19 not once did I ever think of her as an inconvenience or think of abortion. Now our Grandbaby was born the same. Not once did my daughter think of aborting her or her as an inconvenience but only a blessing.

    Nancy

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  119. Katena
    January 17, 2013 | 12:12 pm

    I am the mama of 6 and would have more but due to health can not. We live on one income military. We do have basic cable/internet and cell phones. But we budget and are able to live within our means. Think about the excess if you go to work gas, clothes, luunches and daycare. If you take a good look at your finances you can make it one income. Two incomes are nice we did have too but realized how much we spent with that second income. In having one income we have to leave within our means.

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  120. Jennifer
    January 29, 2013 | 8:51 pm

    I’m so glad I found this post today! What a blessing.
    I am pregnant with #5 here (and 4 in Heaven, so 9 total). My husband dropped a bomb on me in December that he doesn’t want to have anymore children…though I thought up until this point that we were on the same page for allowing God to dictate our family size. It has been a very trying time for me emotionally because I feel wholly convicted to trust the Lord with the size of my family, but also feel convicted to submit to my husband. I am encouraged to read this though, and I thank you for sharing. We have never actively tried to concieve and we haven’t tried to avoid conception since we (well, I guess just I) became convicted when my oldest-9yo-was 7mo. My heart breaks at the thought of denying anymore beautiful blessings.

    I have to disagree with everyone who says that babies should only be born to good, stable families. My husband and I were both born out of wedlock to abusive, unbelieving parents. I would so much rather be alive than not, even though my childhood was rather miserable. I have faith that God knows what He is doing and that our experiences growing up made us who we are today-Christians! Maybe we needed that experience to be humbled enough to accept Christ (as adults). As an outsider looking in, it is awful to see a child hurting, but having lived through that fire, I know that God has a plan, and I trust Him.

    I also have to point out that Moses was born during slavery!! Who on earth would have a baby during slavery?! Someone who is allowing God to work in their lives. Someone who trusts that God has a bigger plan than the little sliver of pain and difficulty that they can see. God is a “big picture” worker, and we can’t see the whole picture like He can.

    [Reply]

    Anita Reply:

    Oh Jennifer, your comment was wonderful! So resonated in my heart. And yes, is God not able to prevent conception? If he is, then why does our society presume it is our “common sense responsibility” to prevent it, when the Bible is so very clear that children (and many children) are a blessing from the Lord? It is just wrong to assume we know better than Him, isn’t it?!
    Over and over, I think “God is the God of life, and life in abundance, and Satan comes to steal (contraception), kill (abortion) and destroy. If i am working so hard to stop a baby (blessing) from arriving, which side am I supporting?!?!”

    [Reply]

  121. Natasha
    January 31, 2013 | 9:52 am

    As I love to see both sides of a story, I would like to share my own convictions. I have prayed and asked God much about this topic. And of course this is what God has shown us to be right for our family. So just simply another, rather different way to honour God with our family ‘planning’.

    Breastfeeding on demand at every cry, constant skin on skin and co-sleeping have proven to keep a women infertile for years and years. Eve, and women of biblical times would have had very little other options. This would provide natural child spacing, build strong children and allow mothers bodies to recover and replenish nutrients (probably around 3-7 years between kids). With this in mind, I believe contraception is very useful, for those of us who opt to parent in a modern way (not following Gods created method, which allow our hormones to maintain infertility). We take control of how we bring them up (and in a way do not use what God has intended), so I feel a deep conviction that we must definitely take control of healthy child spacing.

    Another good point people say is that Jimmy or Sally wouldn’t have been born if we did that. You can’t argue that this is true. Neither can you argue that children are born of rape and adultery, all of which is sin and is disobeying God. This world is fallen, and these children are a blessing in and of themselves. The blessing is not the amount, or the lake of forethought but the actual, individual child. We do not lack what we do not have (as in we have not missed ‘blessings’ by using contraception). In all we do, we test things on scripture. Using our intellect, knowledge and wisdom as God instructs. And so if Mama might die from having more kids, then it is foolish to think that God will be unable to bless you, or will be restricted in anyway by your sensible and wise use of contraception.

    I do realise that this is very controversial stuff, so please do not think I’m after a debate. I just wanted to share how I see things, to show another biblical view point. So I don’t wish to anger anyone, just my own opinions, and of course I see the fun and other benefits of having them all close together also.

    Thanks for this wonderful, inspiring and educational blog.

    [Reply]

    LittleWife Reply:

    I agree with you that there are natural ways to prevent conception- namely during critical times. That type of prevention is called NFP- natural family planning. It’s scientific, it works, and not only does it value life but it also teaches a woman about her fertility and aids in achieving pregnancy when it is the “right time.”

    [Reply]

    Diane Reply:

    The “natural spacing” that breastfeeding “creates” doesn’t always space the children, by the way. When my oldest was 5 months old and exclusively breastfed I got pregnant with my second. How do you account for that?
    Secondly, the “spacing” that God may or may not provide while breastfeeding doesn’t negate His sovereignty. He gives life where He sees fit to give life, even while breastfeeding or on contraceptive. I even know someone who was conceived after her father had a vasectomy.
    So, in my belief, using contraceptive so you can space your children is attempting to take control away from God. It is saying “My planning is better than Yours, God and I will have children when I’m ‘ready’ or when *I* ‘feel’.” It is not saying “I trust You God, I love you and I have died to myself, my body is not my own, it is Yours and You in Your perfect plan can and should bless me as You see fit, or possibly not at all.”
    One thing I have learned is that children SANCTIFY you! I wasn’t “ready” for my 2nd or my 4th child. My first, like I said was 5 months old when I got pregnant with my 2nd but my 2nd son has taught me so much about WHO is in control and he has brought such abundant joy to this family. I shudder to think that I could have “prevented” him in any way. Because, isn’t that what we are really saying when we are talking about birth control? We are preventing people, preventing children. There are only 14 months between my oldest and my second.
    After my 3rd was born we decided that we would leave the planning in God’s hands. I was still breastfeeding my 3rd exclusively at that point (he was only 6 months old) and I became pregnant almost immediately. There are 15 months between my 3rd and my 4th.
    So, the determining factor here isn’t “will I be ready”. Being ready is a choice, a decision to lay down your life because you are not your own. Having these 4 kids of mine has taught me tremendously about the nature of God’s character. He really does laugh at our plans and our “wisdom”. He doesn’t want us using our wisdom to try to time HIS plans. He wants us to acknowledge that His plans are better than ours and to trust Him, not just with how many kids we have but with our entire life.

    [Reply]

  122. Elizabeth
    April 6, 2013 | 10:21 pm

    First of all, I have never posted on a blog before, but I wanted to comment that I have found of great importance in my decision regarding children is listening to God’s voice and obeying it. Last year I left a career in medicine to be a SAHM to 3 wonderful children after my third was born. I really felt that I was called to do this, and I know that this was the right decision. I still keep my liscence active and volunteer at a free clinic, which I have done for 9 years. I pray daily for wisdom in raising our kids and in our next direction with them. Our oldest attends an excellent Christian school, but I am considering homeschooling as well. I would love to have more children and so would my husband, but we also chose to start late (careers and all that) and so I am 40 now. My last pregnancy was really rough on my body too. I also believe that God does not call us to anything that he does not equip us to handle. The more I let go to God (stop trying to control things so much), the more He seems to bless us and fill me with joy. I am a little sad that I do not have a huge family, but I also know that the events in my life have led me to where I am now, and God has a plan in it all. We are also open to adoption. I am praying for direction in all of this.

    “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.” Proverbs 3:5

    Thank you for your post and this lovely blog.

    [Reply]

  123. Samantha
    April 10, 2013 | 10:20 pm

    This is beautiful, may God bless you and your big wonderful family as well:)

    [Reply]

  124. Michelle
    June 27, 2013 | 1:30 am

    I am no longer able to have children, with my oldest now 20 and one still at home. Our house is way too quiet, and I now so wish we had more children. I wish that in my 20s and 30s I had the mature wisdom you had at an early age. I did the career thing, made fantastic money, but looking back, no, it was not worth the quiet house. I thank God for the wonderful children we have, but I wish I had been mature enough in my christian walk to follow His lead on children. God bless you–enjoy every fun-filled, noise-filled, laundry-filled moment! It goes by so quickly and each moment is a treasured gift. For the women out there reading this now, don’t let your life be filled with ‘I wish’es.

    [Reply]

    JoyFilledMom Reply:

    Your comment came at the perfect time; thank you for sharing.

    My DH lost his job a year and a half ago and it has been difficult but God has provided continually for our needs.

    We have five and just found out that I’m expecting again so even though I am happy, I struggle to walk in confidence that God will continue to provide. My worldly self wants to run out and get a job but I know that God wants me home. (I don’t at all judge women who work outside the home; it isn’t my calling at this time)

    [Reply]

    Michelle Reply:

    I will be praying for your husband’s job situation. We lived through a 1 year job loss, then 3 years of a drastic income reduction (he took a job earning minimum wage at Walmart), it is a very tough walk–the enemy certainly does try to work on us during these difficult times. I look back now and see where God did provide–we may have eaten beans and fresh veggies from the garden (yum), in other words, no meat, no extras, but we made it. God bless you! Each less-than-easy time in life certainly does teach us so much–humility, compassion, appreciation for our children and the smiles they bring us. Aren’t those truly the riches in life? Hugs to you!

    [Reply]

  125. Stephanieg
    August 31, 2013 | 10:31 am

    I totally agree that children are a blessing from God. Yes, it’s sometimes difficult being a parent, and yes we have to give things up sometimes, but it’s worth it!
    I just discovered your blog, and I’ve already received a lot of wisdom and encouragement from it.
    I would also agree with some above who, like me, would like a larger family, but are not able to have more children. I have 2 beautiful daughters, almost 8 and 4, but would love more children. I had a stroke before the oldest, and placent previa with the second who was born 9 weeks early. I was bleeding while on blood thinner (not a good situation) thus her early birth. It was very difficult for my husband–I could have died instead of just a stroke affecting my speech. Our preemie was born without heartbeat or breathing–praise God, the doctor was able to revive her and she’s perfectly fine today! He had a lot of stress through those events, and felt like it was unwise to have more children. I didn’t want to agree, but because God is clear that I must follow my husband’s leadership, I agreed that we would have no more children.
    God has been teaching me submission to my husband and to His will, but it doesn’t mean it has been easy. Every time I hear of a friend getting pregnant, my heart bleeds. When I read blogs of large families, the pain is always there.
    So for those of you who want more children and can’t, there are those of us who understand your pain!

    [Reply]

  126. Jeanette
    November 10, 2013 | 9:47 pm

    Here’s a question my husband and I have heard (more than once!)about our large family: “Don’t you guys have a TV?” !!! We look at one another in mock shock and wonderment, and reply, “No, in fact we don’t! D’ya think that might be what causes this?!” Poor impoverished people.
    Wife of one; mother of ten; m-i-law of four, soon to be five; grammy of six and counting!Blessed be God!

    [Reply]

  127. Jen
    July 7, 2014 | 9:02 am

    I have to say, I found the transition from 3 to 4 so much easier than 2 to 3. Yes there is more laundry, another one in your arms, more spills, mouths to feed and wipe, etc, etc, etc…..BUT….there are extra hands, no matter how small to help carry the load! God knows what He’s doing, and He is bigger than your fears! Trust in Him! Pour out your heart before Him, He will carry you through. All the best with number 4!

    [Reply]

  128. Sarah
    July 24, 2014 | 3:18 pm

    I appreciate your post, Kimberly, and all of ecouraging comments. I am about 4 weeks pregnant with our 5th (we have a 10, 7, 5 and 2 year old.) I think that I’m battling between my heart and my brain with this pregnancy: my heart wanted another child, but my brain keeps trying to say “how do we have the room? how will we afford another little one that grows into a big one? How do we tell our parents??” I know it shouldn’t bother me, but words like “you’re crazy!”, etc, do hurt me. I know parents only wish for our good, so they see the financial strain, the long days and stress and are concerned for us. Even my parents, who are believers, are going to think we’re nuts! My husband handles this better than I do, but it does affect me. I do know that God is sovereign, but when the rubber hits the road, it’s hard to trust sometimes. I already know that each of our children are blessings, but I needed a reminder. We have no idea what their future is, but God already knows! Keeping on reminding myself that God’s plans are so much better than mine. 🙂

    [Reply]

    JoyFilledMom Reply:

    I understand about those comments from the family. With my sixth child, I didn’t even tell them I was expecting until after we found out the sex of the baby. Then I approached it this way: I need to share news with y’all but I cannot hear ANY negative comments. If you speak negatively, I will hang up/leave. Once those boundaries were set, they didn’t cross them.

    God bless.

    [Reply]

  129. Melissa
    August 21, 2014 | 8:51 pm

    I really enjoy reading your website.
    I’m 32 years old and pregnant with my 5th child. Our first 2 babies were “surprises”. After each child I felt like I was probably done. Then I would feel convicted about using birth control and we’d conceive again. I seem to conceive really easily. Usually within the first month.
    We’re now struggling with what we should do after baby #5 is born. My husband is having a hard time with the fact that if we continue this path with having children then we’ll never be “done”. We’ll always have a baby in diapers etc. Also, we have a really hard time handling the 4 children we currently have. We have a difficult 3 year girl( our only girl) which is really hard for our family.
    I guess we just don’t know if we can continue this path. It’s so hard to know if God would be okay with us stopping at 5 children, or whether we should keep going and potential have 10 or more. I guess we’ll just keep praying about it. 🙂

    [Reply]

  130. Christine
    September 8, 2014 | 10:03 pm

    We have 10 children. I loved your number 6 🙂 too funny

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  131. Tina Pena
    November 23, 2014 | 4:23 pm

    We have 6.My oldest (19) is from my first high scool sweetheart doomed from the start marriage… I am 40. They ( although spread apart) just kept coming. We are very full of love and have joy we wouldn’t have known without our children.I’m never lonely! I was an only child…I say if ya can afford it…nobody should feel the need to tolerate big fame like ours.

    [Reply]

    Tina Pena Reply:

    By the way…I found you became you happen to be my Pin Twin?! Lol

    [Reply]

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