Reasons We Have a Large Family

In no particular order:

1. When God said, “Behold, children are a gift of the Lord…Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them (Psalm 127)”, we believe He meant it.

2. World domination.

3. We know what causes it.

4. Over the last several thousand years, children have outperformed both the stock market AND gold in ROI.

5. We believe that God’s plan is better than ours.

6. People think that we are patient “super parents.” (insert maniacal laughter)

7. We want to leave a lasting legacy.

8. Our kids are cute!

9. We don’t want to have all of our “investments” in the stock market.

10. In a world that views children as an inconvenience or punishment (Obama said he wouldn’t want his daughters “punished with a baby”) we think someone should stand up and say, we welcome children and believe that they are precious and valuable.

Edited to add:  I’ve had some commenters call into question whether or not Obama said this, suggest that I am misrepresenting his meaning or not including the whole context.   So I decided to include his whole quote,

Look, I’ve got two daughters, 9 year old, um, 9 years old and 6 years old. I’m gonna teach them first about values and morals, but if they make a mistake I don’t want them punished with a baby .

and a link so you can watch and hear him say it with even more context.

11. We love late night snuggles, running two year olds, laughing at the table, crayon drawings, and silly songs.

12. Division of labor.

13. We still get to play on the playground.

You may be interested in “Can We Trust God? Our Journey to Many Children“.

You may read more about how much fun we have with our large family by visiting the Raising Olives homepage.

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211 Responses to Reasons We Have a Large Family
  1. Jennifer
    April 11, 2012 | 9:51 pm

    We have 8 kids, and get asked questions all the time. I LOVE #2 on your list. #3, we’ve figured out the answer, too… toothbrushes. We keep them too close together. ;)

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  2. Laura
    April 16, 2012 | 4:44 pm

    My husband and I are unable to have children, and I find it beautiful and blessed how well you do with yours. May God bless you and your family for many years to come!

    [Reply]

    candy Reply:

    My husband & I have been been married 19 years and we adopdted a sibling group of 4 kids (ages 7,8, 10 & 13). If you have a hearts desire to have children, you might consider adoption. They are our kids and God entrusted us with them. If you are content, than that’s great. However, if you think you ‘cannot have kids’ you are wrong about that. You can have kids. There are tens of thousands of kids ‘waiting for forever families’ in the US and around the world. If you go within your state foster care system, it is FREE to adopt. So do not let expense scare you either. It’s not for everyone, but we decided to pray about it and God made it clear to us; me first and then my sweet husband a little later. Our friends think we are ‘crazy’ to go from 0-4 kids over night. I say ‘crazy can be fun!!” Love this site and planning on using yummy recipes

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  3. Casie Summerfield
    April 16, 2012 | 6:01 pm

    I just stumbled upon this blog, and it is wonderful! We have 4 children, and people make all the same ridiculous comments to us as well. Thank you for loving your children out loud!! :)

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    Katie Reply:

    Four is not a lot of kids!!!!!!!!! I think the post above was more about familys with at least 6. Hahaha

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    JoyFilledMom Reply:

    When I had four, I received a bunch of negative comments. When I had five, a few people would say “congrats” and literally turn around and comment to another person that I was crazy. Now I’m pregnant with number six, I haven’t had negative comments yet. I just keep telling people that I am blessed again.

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  4. Darwin
    April 17, 2012 | 1:53 pm

    Kimberly! I love your blog and love this post. We’re at three kids and God blessed us with another one due in November.

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  5. Lori
    April 17, 2012 | 1:54 pm

    So we just announced that we are expecting our fourth. We got the excited Congratulations – from friends. Family was not as excited (more concerned about our finances and stress). I had to remember that their initiall reaction is never the same as when the baby gets here. I still get tired of the intrusive questions like, “Are you done now?” and “You know what causes that, don’t you?” and “Was this an accident?” But I try to remember that none of these comments are actually made with malicious intent. It helps to just be prepared for the worst reactions and enjoy the good reactions.

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    Melony Reply:

    @Lori-When they ask you if you know what causes new babies, just say “An amazingly loving marriage and a happy family who is extremely blessed.” That should make them be quiet right away without you having to be rude or anything. I am happy that you all love your kids. I only have one for now but I love her more then myself.

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    Lori Reply:

    BTW UPDATE! – We found out that #4 is actually #4 and #5!!!

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    Mimi Reply:

    Congratulations!

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    JoyFilledMom Reply:

    CONGRATULATIONS!

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  6. Lyette Reback
    May 1, 2012 | 3:54 pm

    As a mom to 13 (#14 due in September) I love this list. We homeschool, and we are doing our Utmost for His Highest! Love your blog, glad to have found you! Please come visit me at http://www.believewithme.com and let’s chat!

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  7. JM
    June 4, 2012 | 12:33 am

    Lovely post :) I would encourage all parents of large families to remember something…when you see other Christian parents without large families, please do not judge them. The therapy that God blessed us with to save my husband’s life also made him sterile, and I have health problems of my own. We are wonderful parents to the two children we have been blessed with and long to have more. I have been hurt deeply by the superior attitudes of some Christians I know who believe that the number of their children means God is exceedingly pleased with them and it’s somehow a reward for their holiness…and that people like us who have been told we will never have another child are somehow being punished for sin in our lives or in a generation before us. That is simply not the truth of God’s word and the grace of Jesus (who takes away ALL of our sin!) and so I just want to entreat you all to never judge before you know. Most Christian families with many children understand this, but like I said, great pain has been caused by those who treat others as inferior or assume that they are disobedient to God. We are just hoping for a miracle.

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    Lori Reply:

    Well said! Unfortunately “well-meaning” people aren’t always aware of how their comments affect others. This applies to those with many children, few children, no children and many others circumstances. I have a friend who was blessed with a beautiful little girl after they thought her hubby was left sterile from chemo. Keep the faith and always be thankful for the ones you have already been blessed with. (I know that you are!)

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    Melissa Reply:

    I’m so sorry you have been hurt by others in this way and I think this reminder is so needful. Those of us that have larger families are not at all more spiritual or more obedient and anyone who believes that needs to be cautious of pride setting in. Gods path for each of us is a different one and each path equally good.

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  8. OFO
    July 3, 2012 | 2:49 pm

    In fairness, I don’t think Obama meant he didn’t like babies. I think he meant that he didn’t want his daughters to have a baby out of wedlock.

    And I think you knew that, too. Don’t misrepresent. Your arguments are strong enough without that.

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    Amy Reply:

    What Obama meant was that he didn’t want his children to have babies when they are too young to handle the children. She is not misrepresenting the fact that Obama believes children to be a burden.

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    Kimberly @ Raising Olives Reply:

    I did not say that Obama didn’t like babies or that he meant he didn’t like babies. However, he clearly said that he would view a baby, that one of his daughters conceived out-of-wedlock, as a punishment.

    I merely use his statement to demonstrate the thinking of our current culture. Does our culture view children as blessings or burdens? (I’m not asking whether we ‘like’ babies.)

    Do we seek after, work toward and pray for the blessing of many children? Or do we manage it so that we don’t have too many. Do we prevent children until after we’ve made certain that we will be able to bear the burden that the child will bring to our family?

    Do we communicate to teens that children are a wonderful gift from God or do we tell them that babies will ruin their lives and spoil their careers?

    Trust me. I get comments nearly every time that I’m out with my children that demonstrate that the majority of our culture does not view children as blessings.

    Comments like,

    “The two I have drive me crazy.”
    “Better you than me.”
    “I would shoot myself if I had that many.”
    etc.

    And then there is the whole “child free” movement that is gaining in popularity.

    No, I don’t believe that Obama doesn’t like babies, but I also don’t believe that His view toward children mirrors the biblical view of children.

    “Lo, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are the children’s of ones youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them. He will not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gates.”

    And they blessed Rebekah and said unto her, “Thou art our sister; be thou the mother of thousands of millions; and let thy seed possess the gate of those who hate them.”

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    Katie Reply:

    God bless you for sharing your faith & love with everyone :) I believe you’ve got those ‘virtuous woman’ traits, for sure. Thank you so much for sharing all that you do!!!

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  9. Jenika
    August 9, 2012 | 10:23 pm

    Thanks for your site…honestly, I never dreamed I would be visiting a such a site, but I sit here pregnant with #4…terrified, really. Thrilled, content, and feeling powerfully blessed, but I would be lying if I didn’t admit to feeling overwhelmed. Doing laundry today, gearing up for another year of homeschooling (totally LOVE home education!), also thinking of my part time job as a nurse…and knowing that the work at home is going to drastically increase in weeks…I know God is bigger than all of it, but wowsers…I am feeling overwhelmed.

    Maybe…having a fourth now tips us over into the larger family category…it’s not 11, but it’s not 2 either.

    Thanks again for sharing…my boys are sporting adorable haircuts in part due to your tutorial!!!

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    Darwin Reply:

    Jenika, we’re also expecting number four and we also feel a bit overwhelmed. Our oldest is starting Kinder and we’re doing it at home! Also, because of #4 I’ll have to shelf my part time as a photographer for now. And, since I’m the stay at home parent/dad and that comes with it’s own set of challenges. But God always takes care of us and we’ve needed him in the past and he’s always come through. I can’t imagine the challenges, frustration, and grief we’d have if we didn’t have Him in our lives. My wife always calls on our marriage graces, I always forget about that, and it pulls us through. AND I’m whole heartedly reveling in the fact that we’re crossing over in to the “larger” family category. When you can’t fit all your kids in your compact car you’ve finally hit the big leagues.

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    Jenika Johnson Reply:

    Thanks so much for your reply. :)

    Of course, you are totally right. We are excited…both of us…but, I guess at this point in the game, having been through babyhood three other times, we know how HARD it can be!

    So, yes, we are relying on God’s grace, because He is the only way, and my trepidation IS clearing the path for more prayer!

    Blessings to you and yours!

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  10. Donna
    August 10, 2012 | 1:28 pm

    I recently stumbled across your website and I love it. I was only blessed with 1 grown up son whom I homeschooled while working full time. I love your natural, homemade, nontoxic and money saving ideas. Please keep them coming! God Bless!

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  11. Carol
    August 26, 2012 | 9:24 pm

    Love this! My answer is usually, God told me too and since He is all knowing, I figure I better just do as I’m told…and we only have two kids and one on the way…kind of sad that three kids is considered a large family?!

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  12. Danielle
    August 27, 2012 | 11:27 am

    I was with a friend who has 4 and I have 3, another child was lingering with our children so it looked like we had 8 together. We were standing in line to order ice cream and this young girl, probably 15 who was with “traditional family”- (mom, dad, brother, sister) stood there and talked about us and basically was of the thought “what were we thinking?” I heard her say don’t they know how much kids cost and that one day they have to provide them with car insurance and cars. I was sadden for her the cultural influence on families over two kids is unbelievable. We have 3 for now and the comments and looks that I get are unbelievable. This young girl is going to miss out on great joys if she believes that material possessions out way that of family and the love between siblings.
    Sadly, parenting is seen as lowly and not successful. It is hard, long work and our rewards are forthcoming and the lack of worldly ones is ok with me.
    God bless all and may our faith and efforts move mountains.

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  13. Michelle
    August 27, 2012 | 10:39 pm

    Hi, I just read your most recent birth story. Beautiful! When I was young I wanted tons of children. We have three, one is nearly 2, one went to be with the Lord after only 6 weeks in the womb, and one is on the way. After caring for one child I have become fearful of failure. My number one goal is to raise Godly children. This is such a challenge in our society that I fear if we have too many children my chances for them being Godly go down. Have you ever faced fears like this? It has made me strongly consider stopping after this child. I was just looking to hear your thoughts and experience.

    [Reply]

    stacy Reply:

    Dear Michelle,

    Have you had your baby?

    I’ve never tried to summarize the thing I’m most passionate about into a blog reply so please bear with me. :)

    I have 4 kids (ages 7,4,3 & 1) and I’m hoping to have more. Up until about 2 months ago I had the same thoughts that you are describing. My fears stopped as I discovered the world of homeschooling. I really feel that God has opened my eyes to a completely new culture… a biblical culture that he can create in my home. You mentioned your #1 goal (which is the same as mine) To raise Godly children. For me the more kids I have the more I see what that Godly outcome might look like and it’s easier for me to show my kids that we are different and that different is a good thing. I know some people have raised amazingly Godly children in a small family setting and I’m certainly not discounting that. In fact I applaud them because that actually seems more challenging to me.

    I just want to encourage you with the fact that in my experience (which I understand is limited) things have actually become easier. Of course I am still constantly seeing things that I can change for the better.

    I think you and I could probably talk for hours about these fears and the truths that can squelch them [the fears] and I’m open to that if you want. I could write a whole list of how having more kids has encouraged all of us to grow in our relationship with God but there’s probably not room for that here. “Iron sharpens Iron” pretty much sums it up.

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    JoyFilledMom Reply:

    That was beautifully stated.

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    Erin Reply:

    I love your encouragment! I have 3 daughters with plans of having our 4th child in the next year, Lord willing, and your reply as well as the initial post have both been such an encouragement to me, as my husband and I have recently been convicted to have a larger family. I feel blessed to be able to have children so easily, and Homeschooling has opened my eyes to not being afraid of doing so. I feel God laid it upon my heart as a young child, the desire to have many children, but growing up in this world teaches you basically that there will never be enough money, or enough time, or enough love to have multiple children. Our decision to Homeschool (we are in our very first year!) has been the best thing that ever happened to us, and has made me realize all of the wonderful opportunities that Christian families still have. The world is a sad place, but as a Christian, I believe we should try to raise as many Godly people as possible. :)

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  14. Dani
    October 1, 2012 | 2:44 pm

    Thanks for this post. I really have a heart for more children and so does my hubby. It didn’t start out that way for me (though he always thought 4 or more would be nice.) Before God saved me and when I was expecting my first, I was so scared and even wished I could miscarry or something. I was so selfish and I am ashamed of the person I once was. Thank God for His grace and salvation. I actually never really saw my son as a blessing until God saved me around the time my first was 1. Then, I realized I wanted more children. Maybe as many as God would give me. I go back and forth between trusting the amount that God gives and being cautious and at least a little practical.

    I have 3 beautiful children now, ranging from 16 months to 5 and a half years.

    Last month I gave in and wanted to let God lead the amount of kids we would have once again. I felt like I was pregnant right away and found out a couple weeks later that I was right. I was so excited to be expecting a 4th and thought with such early symptoms, maybe even a 5th??? but sadly, last week I started spotting. I took another test and the line was *barely* there on the sensitive strip test and no longer showing on the slightly less sensitive “answer” test that was showing a pretty obvious (but not dark) positive line a few days earlier. I knew that I was miscarrying. It was heart breaking and it made me realize that I really don’t want to wait to have more kids. I do however think we’ll use hormone free methods to prevent for a couple months so I can heal and up mine and hubby’s vitamins and hopefully we can get pregnant again, Lord willing. I’m only 27 – so there’s a good chance. This is my first loss and it really hurts. I’m still in the process of miscarrying and I’m so sad and disappointed, but so grateful to God for taking care of me and my husband through this. I’m grateful to God that I found out I am not sensitized (rH- with rH+ hubby.) So, that will not keep me from having more. I now have in my mind to have maybe 6 or more kids if God wills it, but I really hope for at least 1-2 more. I just love our children!!! LOVE LOVE LOVE them! And I agree. This world just doesn’t get it. They’ve been trained to view kids as a burden and a problem. I only see them as a blessing now. Days can be tough at times, but it is SO worth it. God has used my children to mature and grow me in my faith more than anything else I think.
    We don’t have to have many things to teach our children to follow God and to provide for them just enough. They don’t need college funds, cars, toys out the wazoo, lots of activities (outside the home), etc. They just need their family’s love and care.
    Praise the Lord always!

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  15. Marilyn
    October 6, 2012 | 1:14 pm

    I love children. But I also love my career in medicine and believe that being a doctor is part of my calling in this world. Their is NO WAY I could have a whole slew of kids and still have a career. NO WAY. Because it would be impossible for me to give to them what they need and also keep my promises to my patients and community. And those promises are important! One does not become a doctor and then one day just toss the DECADES of education and hard work out the window in exchange for a houseful of kids. That just isn’t done! I have 3 wonderful children and a great career and I hope with all my heart that my kids have similarly fulfilling lives. I think that Obama’s perspective is like my own — and I entirely support his views. He wants his daughters to seek education, and I suspect careers, before they have children. I admire him for wanting his daughters to meet their full potential academically and professionally. It is not that he finds children abhorrent, but that he wants his daughters to have children when they are ready to have children and not before. I’m sure he would welcome as many grandchildren as they want to have, when they are ready to have them. A good plan!

    [Reply]

    Kimberly @ Raising Olives Reply:

    Hi Marilyn,

    Thank you for taking the time to comment.

    I never said that Obama (or our society in general) doesn’t love his children, doesn’t want grandchildren or views children as abhorrent. I said that and our society in general does not view children as blessings (and I believe Obama’s comment reflects that).

    I think our disagreement comes in our understanding of the word ‘blessing’.

    The Webster 1828 defines blessing in this manner:

    Any means of happiness; a gift, benefit or advantage; that which promotes temporal prosperity and welfare, or secures immortal felicity.

    A blessing promotes our happiness, prosperity and welfare. A blessing is a benefit or advantage.

    If Obama believed that children were a blessing, then it makes no sense for him to say “punished with a child”. How can something that brings happiness, benefit, and advantage and promotes our prosperity and welfare be equated with punishment?

    You and Obama may view certain children as mostly a blessing or you may consider certain aspects of a child a blessing, but your words (and his) convey that children are a considerable burden (the opposite of blessing) and that in many (most?) cases they are not even worth having because they would ruin or make more difficult those things that you seem to view as your ‘true’ blessings; career, monetary wealth, education, personal fulfillment, etc.

    Our God tells us that,

    Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.

    As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth.

    Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them:

    This is what we believe and rather than running after the ‘rewards’ of the world; wealth, education and career, we will gratefully accept and find our fulfillment in the rewards, benefits or advantages that God chooses to send to us, because we believe this is the only place that we will find true fulfillment. Ecc. 5:10 and Matthew 6:24

    May God bless you as you seek to serve Him.

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    Diane Reply:

    Amen! So nicely stated.

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    Jennifer D. Reply:

    Isn’t Obama talking about why he supports abortion? So, O thinks that it is important for his daughter to be able to abort her baby if she is irresponsible, makes ‘a mistake, and gets pregnant before she is ‘ready’. Therefor it is very logical to come to the conclusion that he thinks that in certain circumstances at least, a child is not a blessing but a burden or ‘punishment.’

    The original post was why she has a big family. She considers every child in any circumstance a blessing. That is her point of view. It would not matter to her the timing, career issues, financial hardship etc…. She would rejoice in the pregnancy and the child. That is not being judgmental, just how she personally feels.

    Another thing…becoming a doctor and all that entails then purposefully deciding to give all that up to become a mother of a large family is done. I have a friend who did just that. Her husband put her through medical school. After that she worked while he got his degree. Then she closed her practice and became a crunchy, homeschooling, stay at home mom of 6…all planned….on purpose. If anything happens to him or if she wants to return to work in the future, she has her degree to support herself and her family.

    I don’t think there is anything wrong with having none, just one, three, six or twenty. You should follow the path G-d leads you down, which is different for everyone. Just replying to certain points that were made.

    We happen to have a large family (expecting number 9 any day) and love the post. I get so many comments/criticisms that it is good to have a funny comeback or to just read this and know that someone else understands. Thanks for the laugh!

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  16. Marilyn
    October 9, 2012 | 6:20 pm

    Well, I can see we don’t understand the world or even our religion in the same way. But surely one can regard children as blessings AND still see that having children too young or without thought to family planning or carelessly or irresponsibly is a bad idea. (I am not implying this is you, BTW. And I am not advocating for abortion.) Women can take responsibility for their lives, AND their contribution to the world, in more ways than just childbearing and child-rearing. I do not want my daughters to get pregnant before they are in happy marriages and, ideally, before they have established some goals for themselves. Which is not to say I think they ought to wait until they are in their 30s like I did — I regret that decision, since getting pregnant was very difficult for us. Nor will I be upset if they choose to have large families — no, I would be thrilled! But I want them to know and realize ALL the ways they can contribute to this world — because, in fact, that is the first part of being a good Christian, since we walk on this earth before we go anywhere else — before they embark on pregnancy, motherhood. As I am sure you would agree, motherhood is not a small undertaking!

    I don’t want my girls to be burdened by motherhood if they are not ready for it, for in my 45 years I have noticed that women who feel burdened are NOT good mothers. I am not saying motherhood is a detestable drag — only that it is SOOO important as to warrant thought and a mind/body dedication before jumping in. (I assume this is what Obama meant, but I cannot speak for him.)

    Please do not accuse those of us who sought higher education and a career as ignoring some message from God. You do not know me, and should not judge my dedication to medicine negatively. I’m in it because I love it and I feel it is my calling. But I don’t leave things to chance. I felt I was supposed to be a doctor, so I worked my tail off and went to medical school and residency. I wanted to be a mother but we practiced birth control during residency so as to not have children before I could be around to care for them. Then we got pregnant (God helped a lot). Sometimes my career challenges my ability to be the mom I want to be, but it has not proven impossible. My three kids are thriving and wonderful people. If ever I find I cannot do both, I will stop practicing medicine.

    My quiver is full with 3. I don’t think that means God favors me less than he favors you. I do think it means God has a use for me that is different than His use for you. And that is OK. I want my daughters to realize their purpose of this Earth, whatever it may be.

    [Reply]

    Kimberly @ Raising Olives Reply:

    But surely one can regard children as blessings AND still see that having children too young or without thought to family planning or carelessly or irresponsibly is a bad idea.

    Remember that the children that people may have “too young” or “without thought to family planning” are actual people, not some theoretical item. So it’s as I stated in my previous comment, you view certain, specific children to be blessings, but other individual children (ones conceived at a time that’s inconvenient to the mother) as curses or at the least an inconvenience. We believe the Bible teaches that every individual is a blessing and we believe that God does not ‘accidentally’ create a person that will be a curse (or inconvenience). :)

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  17. Morgan
    November 1, 2012 | 3:45 pm

    Those children ARE actual people! Yes! That is why we should think of THEM! If you were them, wouldn’t you want to born into a good, stable family that’s ready for them? I would! It’s selfish to have them otherwise!

    [Reply]

    Kimberly @ Raising Olives Reply:

    So is it your opinion that every adopted person would have been better off never being born?

    Is it your opinion that the world would be better off without any of those people who were born into families that weren’t “good”, “stable” and “ready for them”?

    And do you believe that God sometimes makes mistakes and sends babies to these types of families when really the baby, the family and the world would be better if they’d never been created?

    Our family believes that each individual that God in His almighty mercy and wisdom creates is a blessing, but I realize that many people disagree with us on this issue.

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  18. Nancy
    December 10, 2012 | 12:53 am

    I agree 100% with you that no matter the circumstance every child is a blessing. We have 7. My first was out of wedlock I was 19 not once did I ever think of her as an inconvenience or think of abortion. Now our Grandbaby was born the same. Not once did my daughter think of aborting her or her as an inconvenience but only a blessing.

    Nancy

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  19. Katena
    January 17, 2013 | 12:12 pm

    I am the mama of 6 and would have more but due to health can not. We live on one income military. We do have basic cable/internet and cell phones. But we budget and are able to live within our means. Think about the excess if you go to work gas, clothes, luunches and daycare. If you take a good look at your finances you can make it one income. Two incomes are nice we did have too but realized how much we spent with that second income. In having one income we have to leave within our means.

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  20. Jennifer
    January 29, 2013 | 8:51 pm

    I’m so glad I found this post today! What a blessing.
    I am pregnant with #5 here (and 4 in Heaven, so 9 total). My husband dropped a bomb on me in December that he doesn’t want to have anymore children…though I thought up until this point that we were on the same page for allowing God to dictate our family size. It has been a very trying time for me emotionally because I feel wholly convicted to trust the Lord with the size of my family, but also feel convicted to submit to my husband. I am encouraged to read this though, and I thank you for sharing. We have never actively tried to concieve and we haven’t tried to avoid conception since we (well, I guess just I) became convicted when my oldest-9yo-was 7mo. My heart breaks at the thought of denying anymore beautiful blessings.

    I have to disagree with everyone who says that babies should only be born to good, stable families. My husband and I were both born out of wedlock to abusive, unbelieving parents. I would so much rather be alive than not, even though my childhood was rather miserable. I have faith that God knows what He is doing and that our experiences growing up made us who we are today-Christians! Maybe we needed that experience to be humbled enough to accept Christ (as adults). As an outsider looking in, it is awful to see a child hurting, but having lived through that fire, I know that God has a plan, and I trust Him.

    I also have to point out that Moses was born during slavery!! Who on earth would have a baby during slavery?! Someone who is allowing God to work in their lives. Someone who trusts that God has a bigger plan than the little sliver of pain and difficulty that they can see. God is a “big picture” worker, and we can’t see the whole picture like He can.

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    Anita Reply:

    Oh Jennifer, your comment was wonderful! So resonated in my heart. And yes, is God not able to prevent conception? If he is, then why does our society presume it is our “common sense responsibility” to prevent it, when the Bible is so very clear that children (and many children) are a blessing from the Lord? It is just wrong to assume we know better than Him, isn’t it?!
    Over and over, I think “God is the God of life, and life in abundance, and Satan comes to steal (contraception), kill (abortion) and destroy. If i am working so hard to stop a baby (blessing) from arriving, which side am I supporting?!?!”

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  21. Natasha
    January 31, 2013 | 9:52 am

    As I love to see both sides of a story, I would like to share my own convictions. I have prayed and asked God much about this topic. And of course this is what God has shown us to be right for our family. So just simply another, rather different way to honour God with our family ‘planning’.

    Breastfeeding on demand at every cry, constant skin on skin and co-sleeping have proven to keep a women infertile for years and years. Eve, and women of biblical times would have had very little other options. This would provide natural child spacing, build strong children and allow mothers bodies to recover and replenish nutrients (probably around 3-7 years between kids). With this in mind, I believe contraception is very useful, for those of us who opt to parent in a modern way (not following Gods created method, which allow our hormones to maintain infertility). We take control of how we bring them up (and in a way do not use what God has intended), so I feel a deep conviction that we must definitely take control of healthy child spacing.

    Another good point people say is that Jimmy or Sally wouldn’t have been born if we did that. You can’t argue that this is true. Neither can you argue that children are born of rape and adultery, all of which is sin and is disobeying God. This world is fallen, and these children are a blessing in and of themselves. The blessing is not the amount, or the lake of forethought but the actual, individual child. We do not lack what we do not have (as in we have not missed ‘blessings’ by using contraception). In all we do, we test things on scripture. Using our intellect, knowledge and wisdom as God instructs. And so if Mama might die from having more kids, then it is foolish to think that God will be unable to bless you, or will be restricted in anyway by your sensible and wise use of contraception.

    I do realise that this is very controversial stuff, so please do not think I’m after a debate. I just wanted to share how I see things, to show another biblical view point. So I don’t wish to anger anyone, just my own opinions, and of course I see the fun and other benefits of having them all close together also.

    Thanks for this wonderful, inspiring and educational blog.

    [Reply]

    LittleWife Reply:

    I agree with you that there are natural ways to prevent conception- namely during critical times. That type of prevention is called NFP- natural family planning. It’s scientific, it works, and not only does it value life but it also teaches a woman about her fertility and aids in achieving pregnancy when it is the “right time.”

    [Reply]

    Diane Reply:

    The “natural spacing” that breastfeeding “creates” doesn’t always space the children, by the way. When my oldest was 5 months old and exclusively breastfed I got pregnant with my second. How do you account for that?
    Secondly, the “spacing” that God may or may not provide while breastfeeding doesn’t negate His sovereignty. He gives life where He sees fit to give life, even while breastfeeding or on contraceptive. I even know someone who was conceived after her father had a vasectomy.
    So, in my belief, using contraceptive so you can space your children is attempting to take control away from God. It is saying “My planning is better than Yours, God and I will have children when I’m ‘ready’ or when *I* ‘feel’.” It is not saying “I trust You God, I love you and I have died to myself, my body is not my own, it is Yours and You in Your perfect plan can and should bless me as You see fit, or possibly not at all.”
    One thing I have learned is that children SANCTIFY you! I wasn’t “ready” for my 2nd or my 4th child. My first, like I said was 5 months old when I got pregnant with my 2nd but my 2nd son has taught me so much about WHO is in control and he has brought such abundant joy to this family. I shudder to think that I could have “prevented” him in any way. Because, isn’t that what we are really saying when we are talking about birth control? We are preventing people, preventing children. There are only 14 months between my oldest and my second.
    After my 3rd was born we decided that we would leave the planning in God’s hands. I was still breastfeeding my 3rd exclusively at that point (he was only 6 months old) and I became pregnant almost immediately. There are 15 months between my 3rd and my 4th.
    So, the determining factor here isn’t “will I be ready”. Being ready is a choice, a decision to lay down your life because you are not your own. Having these 4 kids of mine has taught me tremendously about the nature of God’s character. He really does laugh at our plans and our “wisdom”. He doesn’t want us using our wisdom to try to time HIS plans. He wants us to acknowledge that His plans are better than ours and to trust Him, not just with how many kids we have but with our entire life.

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  22. Elizabeth
    April 6, 2013 | 10:21 pm

    First of all, I have never posted on a blog before, but I wanted to comment that I have found of great importance in my decision regarding children is listening to God’s voice and obeying it. Last year I left a career in medicine to be a SAHM to 3 wonderful children after my third was born. I really felt that I was called to do this, and I know that this was the right decision. I still keep my liscence active and volunteer at a free clinic, which I have done for 9 years. I pray daily for wisdom in raising our kids and in our next direction with them. Our oldest attends an excellent Christian school, but I am considering homeschooling as well. I would love to have more children and so would my husband, but we also chose to start late (careers and all that) and so I am 40 now. My last pregnancy was really rough on my body too. I also believe that God does not call us to anything that he does not equip us to handle. The more I let go to God (stop trying to control things so much), the more He seems to bless us and fill me with joy. I am a little sad that I do not have a huge family, but I also know that the events in my life have led me to where I am now, and God has a plan in it all. We are also open to adoption. I am praying for direction in all of this.

    “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.” Proverbs 3:5

    Thank you for your post and this lovely blog.

    [Reply]

  23. Samantha
    April 10, 2013 | 10:20 pm

    This is beautiful, may God bless you and your big wonderful family as well:)

    [Reply]

  24. Michelle
    June 27, 2013 | 1:30 am

    I am no longer able to have children, with my oldest now 20 and one still at home. Our house is way too quiet, and I now so wish we had more children. I wish that in my 20s and 30s I had the mature wisdom you had at an early age. I did the career thing, made fantastic money, but looking back, no, it was not worth the quiet house. I thank God for the wonderful children we have, but I wish I had been mature enough in my christian walk to follow His lead on children. God bless you–enjoy every fun-filled, noise-filled, laundry-filled moment! It goes by so quickly and each moment is a treasured gift. For the women out there reading this now, don’t let your life be filled with ‘I wish’es.

    [Reply]

    JoyFilledMom Reply:

    Your comment came at the perfect time; thank you for sharing.

    My DH lost his job a year and a half ago and it has been difficult but God has provided continually for our needs.

    We have five and just found out that I’m expecting again so even though I am happy, I struggle to walk in confidence that God will continue to provide. My worldly self wants to run out and get a job but I know that God wants me home. (I don’t at all judge women who work outside the home; it isn’t my calling at this time)

    [Reply]

    Michelle Reply:

    I will be praying for your husband’s job situation. We lived through a 1 year job loss, then 3 years of a drastic income reduction (he took a job earning minimum wage at Walmart), it is a very tough walk–the enemy certainly does try to work on us during these difficult times. I look back now and see where God did provide–we may have eaten beans and fresh veggies from the garden (yum), in other words, no meat, no extras, but we made it. God bless you! Each less-than-easy time in life certainly does teach us so much–humility, compassion, appreciation for our children and the smiles they bring us. Aren’t those truly the riches in life? Hugs to you!

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  25. Stephanieg
    August 31, 2013 | 10:31 am

    I totally agree that children are a blessing from God. Yes, it’s sometimes difficult being a parent, and yes we have to give things up sometimes, but it’s worth it!
    I just discovered your blog, and I’ve already received a lot of wisdom and encouragement from it.
    I would also agree with some above who, like me, would like a larger family, but are not able to have more children. I have 2 beautiful daughters, almost 8 and 4, but would love more children. I had a stroke before the oldest, and placent previa with the second who was born 9 weeks early. I was bleeding while on blood thinner (not a good situation) thus her early birth. It was very difficult for my husband–I could have died instead of just a stroke affecting my speech. Our preemie was born without heartbeat or breathing–praise God, the doctor was able to revive her and she’s perfectly fine today! He had a lot of stress through those events, and felt like it was unwise to have more children. I didn’t want to agree, but because God is clear that I must follow my husband’s leadership, I agreed that we would have no more children.
    God has been teaching me submission to my husband and to His will, but it doesn’t mean it has been easy. Every time I hear of a friend getting pregnant, my heart bleeds. When I read blogs of large families, the pain is always there.
    So for those of you who want more children and can’t, there are those of us who understand your pain!

    [Reply]

  26. Jeanette
    November 10, 2013 | 9:47 pm

    Here’s a question my husband and I have heard (more than once!)about our large family: “Don’t you guys have a TV?” !!! We look at one another in mock shock and wonderment, and reply, “No, in fact we don’t! D’ya think that might be what causes this?!” Poor impoverished people.
    Wife of one; mother of ten; m-i-law of four, soon to be five; grammy of six and counting!Blessed be God!

    [Reply]

  27. Jen
    July 7, 2014 | 9:02 am

    I have to say, I found the transition from 3 to 4 so much easier than 2 to 3. Yes there is more laundry, another one in your arms, more spills, mouths to feed and wipe, etc, etc, etc…..BUT….there are extra hands, no matter how small to help carry the load! God knows what He’s doing, and He is bigger than your fears! Trust in Him! Pour out your heart before Him, He will carry you through. All the best with number 4!

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  28. Sarah
    July 24, 2014 | 3:18 pm

    I appreciate your post, Kimberly, and all of ecouraging comments. I am about 4 weeks pregnant with our 5th (we have a 10, 7, 5 and 2 year old.) I think that I’m battling between my heart and my brain with this pregnancy: my heart wanted another child, but my brain keeps trying to say “how do we have the room? how will we afford another little one that grows into a big one? How do we tell our parents??” I know it shouldn’t bother me, but words like “you’re crazy!”, etc, do hurt me. I know parents only wish for our good, so they see the financial strain, the long days and stress and are concerned for us. Even my parents, who are believers, are going to think we’re nuts! My husband handles this better than I do, but it does affect me. I do know that God is sovereign, but when the rubber hits the road, it’s hard to trust sometimes. I already know that each of our children are blessings, but I needed a reminder. We have no idea what their future is, but God already knows! Keeping on reminding myself that God’s plans are so much better than mine. :)

    [Reply]

    JoyFilledMom Reply:

    I understand about those comments from the family. With my sixth child, I didn’t even tell them I was expecting until after we found out the sex of the baby. Then I approached it this way: I need to share news with y’all but I cannot hear ANY negative comments. If you speak negatively, I will hang up/leave. Once those boundaries were set, they didn’t cross them.

    God bless.

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  29. Melissa
    August 21, 2014 | 8:51 pm

    I really enjoy reading your website.
    I’m 32 years old and pregnant with my 5th child. Our first 2 babies were “surprises”. After each child I felt like I was probably done. Then I would feel convicted about using birth control and we’d conceive again. I seem to conceive really easily. Usually within the first month.
    We’re now struggling with what we should do after baby #5 is born. My husband is having a hard time with the fact that if we continue this path with having children then we’ll never be “done”. We’ll always have a baby in diapers etc. Also, we have a really hard time handling the 4 children we currently have. We have a difficult 3 year girl( our only girl) which is really hard for our family.
    I guess we just don’t know if we can continue this path. It’s so hard to know if God would be okay with us stopping at 5 children, or whether we should keep going and potential have 10 or more. I guess we’ll just keep praying about it. :)

    [Reply]

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